It’s Tuesday, and It’s Super

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A billion-bazillion voters are headed to the booths today, including the lavender set such as yourselves. If you’re not planning to vote today, well, you should just stop reading because this doesn’t concern you. Those of you who plan on voting, wish you could vote or get off on Democracy should continue on.

Now, we’re sure you kids have loads on your mind this Super Tuesday, but we can’t address all your civic concerns. Thus, in an effort to cut through some of the bullshit, we’ve broken down the candidates by three issues the gay gods have deemed important.

We’ve organized this by candidate and provided some comment about three key issues: Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, hate crimes legislation and, yes, same-sex marriage. We weren’t going to include that one, but decided the Republican camp offers some nuanced views many of you may not realize. So, without further ado, here’s your Totally Mini Extreme Super Tuesday Voting Guide Extravaganza!

Oh, and those of you who think we’re going to know the Democratic candidate later today, read this from Rasmussen Reports:

Perhaps the most important fact of all is that the Democrats award delegates on a proportional representation basis. That means that it won’t matter quite so much who wins and loses a given state so long as it’s close. Since both candidates will win a few states and both will pick up large numbers of delegates, it is highly unlikely that either candidate will earn a decisive victory tomorrow. In fact, it may be more than a month before we know the Democratic nominee.

So, those of you who think the race ends today – the games have just begun.