Screen Shot 2014-12-23 at 10.29.11 AM“I’ve always said that if you took out the sex and the violence, that it is a children’s story because it’s the battle of the gross-out, and that’s what most kids’ books are now,” John Waters recently told the NYT about his upcoming plans to turn his 1972 cult classic Pink Flamingos into a family-friendly story.

“Kiddie Flamingos” will feature an all-kid cast, who will “wear candy-colored wigs, cat-eye glasses and at least one pencil-thin mustache (drawn on, of course)” while they are filmed doing a table read of the new script.

We’re having a hard time imagining how the film could be toned down, but Waters insists he’s adapted the script to a G level.

That means no obscenities and more rewrites than we can count. That whole impregnating hitchhikers and then selling their babies plot line? Now it’s children stealing talking dolls from wealthy families.

But while foul language and overt grossness may have been removed, don’t think for a second that Waters is trying to lose his edge.

He hopes the result is “even more perverse than the original, because it’s transforming innocence into a whole new kind of joyous, G-rated obscenity.”

“Kiddie Flamingos” will be on view Jan. 9 through Feb. 14 at the Marianne Boesky Gallery in the Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan.

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