What It’s Like To Be A Gay, Insultingly Handsome Fraternity Brother


An anonymous man who goes by the moniker Humorlessness has taken to Reddit in search of alllll those gay frat brothers out there, and his question is deceptively straightforward:

Gay Fraternity brothers? how do you not make it incredibly awkward?

He elucidates thus:

So, fraternities seem to be the type of environment that is very open to heterosexuality and machismo. A lot of times, this is how brothers relax. For example, many frat brothers feel comfortable relating their casual sex experiences to each other, and it isn’t a big deal. Do gay frat members do this type of thing with their straight brothers (Or only with their gay brothers?) Are their straight brothers receptive to this type of talk about gay sex? What about formals or other occasions where you would bring dates? Would sex be awkward to even consider mentioning on occasions like these? It would seem to me that it’s incredibly awkward to bond with your brothers if you don’t even talk about these things with each other. How do you manage to make it work?

Related: Two Frat Brothers Came Out, Battled Addiction, And Got Married


Then, like (unverifiable) magic, the answers spewed forth, and they aren’t the horror stories you’d expect — i.e, duct-tape disasters, being unceremoniously dropped during first keg-stand, etc.

Related: How To Enjoy a Frat’s Bad Behavior Without Any Of Its Homophobia

“As far as how my relationship with the straight brothers was,” writes Chahmeleons, “I’d say it was 98% positive. I could joke around with them and was just one of the guys.”

Related: Straight Guys Are Giving “Bro-Jobs” And Hooking Up On The DL Using New App

He continues:

The other two percent, well… There was one brother who always felt like he was going out of his way to show acceptance and I wish he would have just chilled out. It got to the point where every joke he made when we hung out referenced my sexuality. Nothing offensive, exactly the opposite in fact. But it kept me from feeling like I was just his friend and rather his “gay friend”.

Related: More And More Straight Guys Are Giving Each Other “Bro-Jobs”

“The guys never felt uncomfortable about me being with a guy,” pepperMD writes, “and there were a couple of guys in the recent history of the fraternity that were much more promiscuous and flamboyant than myself.”

One time I came to a meeting with huge hickeys across my neck, and a couple of guys were doing the normal joshing (“what happened there?” “Looks like someone had a good night!”) And my response was “You should see the other guy!” They loved it.”

Related: Penn State Fraternity Pledge Sues After Being Raped During Rush Party


Because it’s 2016 and the world is changing in ways we can’t explain, there don’t appear to be any terrifying tales of discrimination or fervid homophobia at all. At least, not yet.

In its place, there’s some friendly advise to alll those aspiring gay fraternity bros out there:

“Alcohol helps,” says Elranzer, none too helpfully.

Related: Texas Fraternity Suspended For Allegedly Denying Gay Pledge

“This is gonna sound kinda dumb,” says What_Is_ETT, “but find a fraternity with a lot of science majors or with a reputation for being nerdy. I find they tend to be more accepting than the bro ones, worked for me. I found out the president and asked him a bunch of questions, and let him know that if there was ever any hazing i would back out. He told me there wasn’t and he didn’t lie to me.”

Related: The Ultimate Collection Of Cuddling Bros Photos

And there you have it.

Any chance any of you have had experiences with frats and frat bros? Weigh in in the comments below (and feel free to lie.) 

Images via GuysCuddling and SomeGayCuddle, in case you’re into that kind of thing.

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    Okay dat pic about the hottest thing I ever seen on here

  • CaliKyle

    I don’t get the “insultingly” part but I was a handsome fraternity brother not long ago. And, no bro, I don’t even bottom. It was sort of an open secret that my sexuality was unclear because brothers either knew or strongly suspected I hooked up with guys. The hickey part made me laugh because I had done same thing to the brother I both roomed with and fooled around extensively. One night half the house had gotten high together and the next morning one side of my roommates neck was covered in hickeys. He got some strange, shocked looks from others but no one said a thing. Anyway, I had no problems being gay or bi in my fraternity. And most of us were athletes on Div I teams, too, and still no issues. Being in a fraternity was one of my absolute best times in life, quite frankly.

  • jamessavik

    I went to college in the eighties. Back then the only gays in frats were deep in the closet.

    The frat I was in threw me out after I fucked half of them.

  • Brian

    One of the rules of straight-identifying males is that you should feel totally at ease with each other. Dirty talk is fine, touching each other is fine, spooning is fine…but it must all be about bonding, not sexual intercourse. Bonding, bonding, bonding.

    Bonding provides an inner glow, a recognition that one’s fellow man is on the same side. Gay-identifying men don’t really fit into this picture, sorry.

  • jeff1370

    @Brian: Stop commenting on this site. You only devalue yourself. Go troll on a Hillary Clinton or Leslie Jones website.

  • Josh447


    Agreed. I’ve spooned with my non sexual gay friends countless times. Clueless Brian learned everything he knows about sex and bonding from his bright pink blow-up doll, with endless mal-adjusted conversations after sex. Marriage with adoption of store bought look alikes is most likely on his deranged mind.

    Good luck securing that marriage licence. See ya in the news ding dong.

  • GLF

    Obligatory reminder that Reddit is not real, ever. Ever.

  • Heywood Jablowme

    I thought fraternities were about sticking carrots up each other’s anuses. And drinking til you pass out. And sticking carrots up each other’s anuses. And drinking til you pass out. And sticking carrots up each other’s anuses.

  • Heywood Jablowme

    @Josh447: Brian’s “bright pink blow-up doll, with endless mal-adjusted conversations after sex.” LOL.

  • He BGB

    I had 2 frat sex experiences in college. Worse sex ever. I would hope in this day and age there wouldn’t be all that fear and ignorance that was 20, 30+ years ago. That the homophobic guy would be the one told to shape up or get out. Never really understood fraternities or sororities. Thought it was just rich kids who thought they were better than a regular student. They are supposed to be doing good with charities and such but that’s just a cover for being a snobby sh*thead.

  • europeanguy


    i laughed un-neccesserily hard at that one haha, i think they were just rejecting the truth about themselves. bet they hang out in gay bars now

  • girldownunder

    ANY exposure as gay can can you at work. I respect those not able to present that, but you’re a sexist MF.

    I also cry for them. It’s wrong.

    Time to full-on support Linux Mint as the OS of choice. AT the least, they’re working to keep things free….

  • robho3

    @Brian: Gosh you are so wise Brain your like a fountain of knowledge ( but where’s the shut off button?).

  • John

    As a “frat rat” of the 80’s times were different. I didn’t discuss it but I am sure others knew. I did “hook up” with 3 different brothers over the time there. We would even hit the college town gay bars, which were 2 blocks from our frat house. I am sure it is even easier now…

  • highestbidder

    @Brian: speak for yourself, don’t speak for all gay men and maybe ask yourself honestly even if you were one thousand percent hetero you still wouldn’t fit in would you

  • scotshot


    Donald Trump released a statement that you’ve been banned from the GOTPQ. You know it’s gotta be bad when even he won’t accept your vote.

  • DMRX

    Come on, guys. Quit feeding Brian The Troll.
    Maybe if we just ignore him, he’ll starve and go away.

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