More And More Straight Guys Are Giving Each Other “Bro-Jobs”

9781479825172_FullWhat is a “bro-job”?

In a nutshell, it’s when a straight guy gives another straight guy a blowie not in a meaningful sexual way but in a friendly, NSA, I’m-just-doing-you-a-little-favor, totally not gay sort of way. Or something.

Dr. Jane Ward writes about this not-so-new phenomenon in her book, Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Menpublished by NYU Press last month.

Related: Why Straight Men Are Acting Way More Gay Than Ever Before

In the book, Ward poses the following question: “A straight white girl can kiss a girl, like it, and still call herself straight—her boyfriend may even encourage her. But can straight white guys experience the same easy sexual fluidity, or would kissing a guy just mean that they are really gay?”

The answer: It’s complicated.

From fraternity hazing rituals, where pledges are told to grab each other’s dongs and stick their fingers up fellow pledges’ butts, to online personal ads posted by “straight” men seeking other “straight” men to sack off with, Ward examines the fascinating world of “straight guy-on-guy action,” which she believes isn’t nearly as gay as people might think.

Related: Five Reasons Every Straight Man Should Go Gay At Least Once Or Five Times

Ward argues that the real reason “straight” men behave in these ways is to “reaffirm rather than challenge their gender and racial identity” and “to leverage whiteness and masculinity to authenticate their heterosexuality in the context of sex with men.”

In other words: They do it to prove they’re not gay.

Kinda like how a blossoming homosexual might experiment with a girl in high school or college once or twice as a way of testing the waters. We all know how that story ends.

Related: “Bro-Jobs” Author Talks Straight Man-On-Man Sex And “Repressed Homosexual Desire”

“By understanding their same-sex sexual practice as meaningless, accidental, or even necessary,” Ward says, “straight white men can perform homosexual contact in heterosexual ways. These sex acts are not slippages into a queer way of being or expressions of a desired but unarticulated gay identity. Instead … they reveal the fluidity and complexity that characterizes all human sexual desire.”

What do you think? Does Ward’s theory make sense, or does a guy giving another guy a “bro-job” make him gay, or at least bisexual? Sound off in the comments section below.

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  • James R Carter

    approved…. *lights a smoke*

  • Brooke Tummino

    Dainan McNeil, Minko Gettinthatgoodgood Escobar didn’t y’all start this ages ago?

  • Gerardo Munoz

    This just means I’m closer to my fantasies than I’ve ever been before

  • John Smith

    Why wouldn’t they? I suck dick like there’s candy inside…haven’t been wrong yet!

  • Dave Basora

    Straight guys ain’t all they’re cracked up to be…except for that one out of fifty who knows how to take his training

  • David Quirk

    its a win win for both

  • Christopher DeRosa

    They copy EVERYTHING that makes us cool. Lame straight people.

  • Ian Hua

    Just fucking stop it with this bullshit! It just propagates self loathing behind the guise of superficial harmless fantasy.

  • Jesse Erickson

    It’s weird that they actually call it that

  • Will Gore

    You get to be a whore, and you get to be a whore! Whores all around for everyone!!!! :D

  • Jason Narofsky

    I’m just wondering why it’s made a racial thing. Pretty sure it’s not just a “white guy” trying to prove his “whiteness”

  • Martin Cruz

    Uh, no. Just no. All it takes is one “bro-job” and your hetero pass is officially revoked forever.

  • Brandon Carrington

    Been going on for years. First guy I ever blow was a straight friend back in high that lasted 3 years

  • Robert Dan

    A brave new world indeed

  • Luis Danger Reyes

    Sean Hof Daniel Jamell Andrew Branan now you guys can call it something !

  • Corey J Hodges

    They literally used the phrase “engage in homosexual contact in heterosexual ways.” I think that’s my cue to discontinue following Queerty and/or the sources they’ve deemed reputable.

  • millhouse

    It’s just two guys (bromos) that get excited and blow each other–totally not gay (sarcastic tone). This reminds me of the Mad TV sketch with the dudes that makeout while watching a football game: “I know you’re a man, but I’m going to treat you like a lady…”

  • Ricky Permatteo

    where can i find these guys in need of a bro0job?!?!

  • Billy Budd

    I didn’t like the “whiteness” part of it, but I am available to fulfill the dreams of cute heterosexuals.

  • David G. Abler

    Joe Kort… they stole your work

  • Jason Smith

    Out of the “wishful thinking” department. Do the editors think we’re so insecure that we need this kind of validation?

  • Keith Funk

    More and more straight guys really aren’t straight. Human sexuality is not black or white…. but a continuum.

  • Tommy Ogletree

    Not straight. ………closeted.

  • Thomas Cameron

    Really? No one has ever had the one guy that likes girls but every now and then don’t mind a blow job from you? Omg!!! I guess I’m just one lucky boy then because I’ve been there a few times! Listen fellas a cute guy with a nice package wants a blow job from you then let him call himself a fuqing power ranger! Morph your ass to your knees and get the putty!!! Seriously!!! All the gay straight blah blah blah who fucking cares what some one labels them selves if you don’t question it and don’t talk about it you’d be surprised how many straight boys will be knocking at your door… Sigh memories!!!

  • Gary Harryman

    It sounds like Americans are beginning to grow up and figure out that Nature makes humans like snowflakes – no two alike.

    To create evolutionary progress and insure species survival, Nature makes humans and their sexuality unique. If we look at the evidence, evidently there are as many ways of being sexual as there are ways of being human times days.

    So, if there are 7.2 billion people on this planet today, that means there are 7.2 billion ways to be human and 7.2 billion ways for humans to be sexual – today. Potentially, that means tomorrow there will be 7.2 billion other ways for those humans to be human and to be sexual. Nature creates all of that awesome potential for humans to express their individuality to insure survival of the species, and yet simplistic Regressive minds want to force all 7.2 billion people to be the same and to have sex only one way – their way.

    As Caitlyn Jenner says – “Accept one another; we’re all different, and that’s a good thing.”

  • Jerry Busbee

    Throw in some nude male oil massage and this pretty much sums up my every fantasy.

  • Jeff Loveonly

    More and More straight guys are admitting to giving each other bro-jobs is what the headline should be….

  • Scott Marr

    I just need to witness this.

  • Chris

    I think that she only studied white men; hence, her book’s title.

    It’s really not that complicated. Each new generation figures out how to manage sexuality in their own ways. And “straight” men getting it on with one another, even if it is in “heteronormative” ways (whatever THAT means) is that this generation has figured out ways to have sex that are different than what my generation of guys did.

    My generation’s achievements are this generation’s assumptions.

    So what’s the big deal?

  • Justin Weeks

    I can’t read the fucking thing because it keeps taken me to a different web site

  • DeWayne Talbert


  • Cesar Fortun

    Baloney…that’s being gay!

  • Altay Ozer

    Heterosexuality was invented by overzealous Christians 2000 years ago. Straight doesnt exist.

  • Rick Holtz

    Neither of these “bro’s” look straight.

  • Carlos Mejia

    There is no such thing as straight men having sex with other men, sorry. These are clearly closeted men, come out already, girls!

  • Gus Anderson

    Are they really? Or are some random people just saying that this is happening?

  • Ladbrook

    Well, if they are high school guys, then yeah… it’s very common. I had two buddies in HS I fooled around with. Both ended up married with kids and even at the time, they both said “I just like getting off”… or some such.

    So maybe these “straight” guys never had that chance, and now they are looking for some experimentation… or maybe these are all just bi guys who are mostly straight. Like someone said earlier on the thread… we’re all different. Leave them alone. They aren’t hurting anyone.

  • Daniel Montgomery

    It’s who you crush on that defines your sexualality. I am attracted to man and woman but only crush on those who are comfortable with Bisexual group sex. That doesn’t mean I need to be involved in an orgy I just need the love and support of like minded people. If a man enjoys sucking dick or having a man suck his dick for lust, I think it makes him kinky not Gay.

  • Tom Peter Gallagher

    Matthew Jolteon Lewardo when you next in leeds? :)

  • davenbill

    @Christopher St. Christopher: Straight, bi, gay–it’s a continuum and people actions lie upon it. Men are finally realizing it’s not one extreme or another and that your actions and desires can lie at different points on that continuum. I had a straight friend who begged for mercy and said I gave the best BJs he even had. He definitely wasn’t gay and chased women like a cat on the prowl. I think everybody is a little bi.

  • Sam Raether

    Men can experiment and still not be gay… I mean, they could be in denial, they could be bi, or they could genuinely be mostly straight. Girls are given way more lee-way when it comes to experimentation. What it comes down to is that sexuality is fluid and complicated.

  • Steven Thomas

    Greg Ron Spencer I endorse this ??

  • Will Glitzern

    I think one time doesn’t mean they’re gay. But if they go back for seconds they’re probably bisexual.

  • spiffy

    — Isn’t this just two guys getting drunk and there are no girls around?

    — Can someone please explain what “leverage whiteness” means? That this is something only white guys do?

    — I kinda don’t care… yet kinda do? The racial component of the theory still bothers/confuses me.

  • Robert Copeland

    1 time=experiment.
    2 times=gay, darling!

  • Frank Croix

    I couldn’t finish reading this boring article.

  • meghanada

    I hate these pieces that make it look like we’re obsessed with what straight men do among themselves. And the bunch of horny queens commenting don’t help. Creepiness and sadness all around.

  • Jeffrey York

    Guys know how guys like it. Women not so much.

  • Carl Szulczynski

    And some gay guys are actually eating a secret snatch. What’s this got to do with the price of milk in your mangina?

  • Raul Leal

    More and more people that cook meals in restaurants are claiming not to be chefs.

  • Kate Ison

    Heteroflexible – “I’m not gay, but you know, stuff happens.”

  • Josh Christoper

    Sorry, her “argument” that str8 dudes are hooking to prove their heterosexuality is a total oxymoron. I believe the ending of that word describes her entire thought process.

  • Daniel Williams

    Sure, and i have “man-sex” with men, so that DEFINITELY doesn’t make me gay!!!!! *rolls eyes*

  • Jacob23

    lol! So who is “Dr” Jane Ward? Apparently not a real doctor but a PhD who teaches “Gender and Sexuality Studies” at UC Riverside. There is no demand for people like Ward in the real world, so she goes and teaches “queer theory” on campus to feel useful. BTW, based on her pics, I’m pretty sure she’s a “transwoman.” So she’s clearly well-qualified to talk about how straight men interact with one another.

    From the sound of it, she managed to make even fraternity-type porn scenarios seem dull. She clearly is not out to study this phenomenon and present a full and fair report but rather to scold and judge her subjects, and inflict her political views on her readers, who will be primarily the hapless undergrads who will be required to buy the book.

  • Daniel-Reader

    I don’t think it’s a matter of gay, bi, or straight – just the common denominator of “horny”.

  • Andrew Host

    or maybe its just simple fact that guys know what feels good when it comes to blow jobs…… so if a gay guy gives a straight guy a blow job is it still a “Bro-Job”????

  • Curty

    Stupid post… more straight or lack of straight fantasies from queerty. I never have spent some much time on a gay site reading about straights going bisexual. Those who post articles here on queerty really doesn’t like the average gay guy… everyday there some post on straight to gay fantasy or fads…

  • Jacob23

    From her CV, here are some of “Dr” Ward’s outstanding contributions to human civilization:

    “Queer Feminist Pigs: A Spectator’s Manifesta.” 2013

    “Radical Experiments Involving Innocent Children: Locating Parenthood in Queer Utopia.” 2013

    “If Foucault Parented: Why Letting Children ‘Be Who They Are’ Is Not the Queer Goal.” 2012.

    “The Heteroflexible Anus: How Straight White Men are Redefining the Meaning of Anal Penetration.” 2011.

    “Femmes, Transmen, and the Labor of Forgetting.” November 2009.

    “Gender Labor: Transmen, Femmes, and the Collective Work of Gendering.” March 2008.

    “The Making of Dude-Sex.” October 2007.

    “Femme Labor and the Production of Trans Masculinity.” October 2007.

  • F. Jay Ver

    I don’t know if that theory holds water. The frequency of straight men who experiment with other men seems extremely low. The younger generation however does seem very sexually fluid in contrast. Terms like homosexual and heterosexual may become archaic in the future.

  • Craig Shapiro

    We chose to come into the body to experience what it has to offer. Darn good choice!

  • Ryan Orser

    Levi Freeman

  • Atrahasis Zimuandagal

    i’m more or less straight these days, i tried dating guys back in the day, i just don’t fall in love with dudes like at all… but… this sounds interesting

  • meghanada

    @Carl Szulczynski: Gay men don’t have a reason to “secretly” eat vaginas – vagina-eating is not a stigmatized behavior. And from personal experience, I’d say gay men who’ve been with women don’t make a secret out of it; they go on and on about it as if that was proof of superiority over other gay men.

  • Giancarlo85

    @Jacob23: his clown again…

    Anyways, as far as this topic… they aren’t straight. Another click and bait article.

  • DjARD

    For a doctor and teacher of gender and sexuality studies, Ward seems bizarrely caught up in gender and sexual binaries.

    Also, Queerty:

    I know it’s only like, 2015 and all. But I have a tiny little message for you.


    How hard of a concept is this to grasp? Apparently very, judging by the amount of articles about “straight” guys loving to fuck other men.

  • Giancarlo85

    @Jacob23: And you’re very well qualified right? You know everything right? You know everything about gay people? You’re so full of shit.

  • Rudy Labsilica

    Today’s TRADE is tomorrow’s competition.

  • Mercurical Memo

    Seriously is this all Graham writes about. Dude, you need to see a psychiatrist cuz you’ve got ISSUES to resolves, otherwise you’re nothing but a one trick pony act. Seriously, give it a rest.

  • J Wesley Mays

    They’re not straight. They’re not gay. Why have so many people forgotten what the “B” in LGBT stands for?

  • Valdemar Machado

    Put some god damn quotations around the word “straight” for crying out loud Queerty

  • Jeff Kincaid

    That would be EXTREMELY friendly….

  • Valdemar Machado

    Most people are bi but articles like these aren’t doing anything good *unfollows*

  • max3026







  • Jacob23

    @Giancarlo85: No JaneCharlene85, I don’t know everything. But neither am I charging poor and middle class kids in Riverside tens of thousands of dollars to listen to me spew my opinions about the heteroflexible anus.

    What I really hate about these cultural studies/SJW academics is that they could actually produce useful studies if they wanted to. They could do real empirical research on important social and cultural phenomena, and make practical policy recommendations. But instead, they churn out, year after year, these mind-numbing papers, which are nearly unreadable due to the postmodern jargon, and which consist of little more than their personal political opinions.

  • Chuck Meeke

    This is all about labels people. I want to live my life without labels. Could we try that, huh?

  • Giancarlo85

    @Jacob23: Oh look.. the little clown makes fun of my name because he is too stupid to realize otherwise.

    You have never done any research of your own and are incapable of using your own mind. You are a stupid person in other words…

  • Giancarlo85

    What is the extent of your education, jacob? Sounds like you were home schooled and now work in a local grocery store. Stupid people, like yourself, are not capable in reading intellectual work. You don’t know anything about empirical research (look at the garbage and hatred you spew towards feminine gay men and trans people).

  • martinbakman

    They should cover this on the View. If B Walters was still there she could call it a Bwo Job.

  • Cagnazzo82

    So they’re not bisexual, they’re instead ‘affirming their whiteness’ and ‘affirming their sexuality’?

    What in the hell does that even mean?

    I can’t be the only one who read that and thought it was completely absurd.

  • Joey Torrealba

    I believe that if you have the balls to put in your mouth. Another man’s Penis that makes you either Gay or at least Bisexual because you like that kind of pleasure. It’s not a normal Hetero tendency I am sorry. I cannot believe that a Heterosexual can be called a Heterosexual if he is messing around with a man. The same thing apply to women. I don’t think a lot of straight would agree that those men that mess around with other men can be so called straight. I say you are a closet case and it’d time to accept it .

  • Carlos Delao

    Straight men don’t give each other hand jobs, straight men don’t kiss each other. Gay is gay !!!

  • bottom250

    I have been with so many “straight” men. There wives don’t give them oral so the come to me honey.

  • David Jefferson Pearcey

    So sick of all this gay news. Get over it already. Do we have to talk about gay gay gay ALL THE TIME !

  • Joe Payer

    this is slightly true , with the exception of straight dudes giving gay dudes head

  • Giancarlo85

    @bottom250: Wow. Is sex all you can think about?

  • bottom250

    Honey I love sex and this Queen is not ashamed of it.

  • Doug Lia

    If they are having gay sex–they ARE gay!!

  • Gourmandises

    A quick review of the sexual habits of ancient civilizations shows that bisexuality is very prevalent. I think that if it weren’t for the sexually repressive environment created by the Abrahamic religions, we would have a lot fewer hang ups about sex and homosexuals and bisexuals wouldn’t be seen as such a big deal. In fact, I think that bisexuality is probably the default sexual behavior with strict heterosexuality or homosexuality being less common.

  • Gourmandises

    Oh yeah, all those DL, discreet and married bros hitting up my Grindr account also helps prove my point.

  • Terry Purdue

    Funny how they need to BRO it up to make it sound more masculine

  • Bela Szentpeteri

    Ha ha so funny! Straight men does not sucks cocks, but liers yes, they do…

  • Giancarlo85

    @bottom250: Such wreckless behavior…

  • Giancarlo85

    @Giancarlo85: *reckless lol.

  • Jason Rhee

    First anal sex now this!???????

  • Dann Dykas

    I actually agree with this.

  • Edwin Lopez

    If u willingly suck a guys dick. You’re gay. End of story

  • Gary Allen

    So this is just back to the way it was in the 50s.

  • BigG

    Just more cowards afraid to admit who they really are. So they Make up hip wording. So pathetic

  • Jody Cameron

    If it happens only once, I might buy it. But if he repeats, I call bullshit!

  • Dudi Cohen

    ??? ?ע??ת ??ר ????????

  • Michele Racine

    I’m not quite sure why being “white” was brought up.

  • Josh Mann

    Stop omg

  • Christopher Arnot

    Own who you are. Stop defining your life through who you have sex with.

  • David O'Flaherty

    I wish I had known more bros in my day.

  • Iancu Avram

    Cut the crap! You are being extremely pathetic. Straight people are straight. Stop messing things around! Sick people…

  • Alex Rothwell

    Halloween has been taken over now this ! Ahaha ! Then on the other hand if two straight guys want to give each other oral, are they experimenting or trying to come out ?

  • Brandon Ramm

    Meanwhile that thumbnail has two gay guys kissing. One is photographer Jeremy Lucido

  • etseq

    Jane Ward is a sociologist who has made her name by publishing ridiculous papers and books usually based on “ethnographic” qualitative methods rather than more rigorous and objective quantitative methods. Ethnography involves the researcher immersing themselves in a sub-culture for an extended period of time and observing and documenting as much as possible about the lives of the group being studied. The methodology also usually requires the researcher to adopt the subjective outlook of her subjects and accept their perception of reality, even if it conflicts with objective reality. Also, ethnographers usually adopt a theoretical paradigm, such as queer theory, post-structuralism, feminist epistemology, etc. that they use to “interpret” the evidence. Ward imposes these complicated and at times irrational explanations, which conveniently confirm her prior ideological commitments, on things that most of us would explain much more simply based on existing science or common sense. She is an extreme social constructionist and her goal is to “deconstruct” all social categories because, like Foucault, she views them as mechanisms of social control and dominance by some mysterious power elite.
    Most of us would explain “straight” men having sexual contact as either a one off curious experimentation or maybe evidence of repressed gay/bi attractions. Age, intoxication, coercion, etc. would all be factors to help explain these situations. However, in a homophobic and heterosexist society, the claim that straight men “prove” their heterosexuality by engaging in gay sex is absurd on its face! It is just the opposite – gay sex is so stigmatized that most straight men would have strong pressure not to be “tainted” by the act. Someone suggested that some gay men experiment with girls in order to prove that they are gay but most do it in order to try to make themselves straight because that is what a homophobic society expects. Ward attempts to get around this by racializing the topic but that is just a discursion she uses based on her theoretical assumptions.

  • etseq

    Also, I am constantly amazed at the intellectual gymnastics some academics will go through in order to find excuses to justify normative heterosexuality. They insist that labelling someone gay or bi is somehow the worst thing possible and in the process they end up reinforcing homophobia. All this talk about fluidity of desire and identity is never used to question heterosexuality – Ward’s whole theory involves reinforcing their claims to being heterosexual while rejecting the most obvious explanation of homophobia – but is almost always invoked to protect a guy from the worst label possible – gay. And some gay men are willing to be complicit in this fraud because it plays into their sexual fantasies of seducing straight men. Get a life Queerty.

  • David Chachki

    Women say they are straight and mess with women all the time,why can’t we?

  • Ricardo Pires

    1st if a man does another man a Bj he is not straight!
    2nd there is no evidence or social data to back this up hence this article together with 98% of every other article on internet is Bs.

  • bottom250

    @David Chachki: so true sweetheart

  • bottom250

    @Giancarlo85: Honey I only live once I am filling a vacancy not in my heart but my ……

  • Giancarlo85

    @bottom250: We only live once. That is true. Isn’t that a reason not to engage in reckless behavior then?

  • bottom250

    Sweetheart thank you for your concern but honey so many men so little time.

  • bottom250

    @Giancarlo85: Sweetheart thank you for your concern but honey so many men so little time.

  • QJ201

    If you call yourself straight…you have to suck first.

    Not falling for that…AGAIN.

  • bottom250

    @QJ201: I know right as soon as they cum they are off to the wife and kids.

  • Aromaeus

    I’m dying at the whiteness of it all.

  • Giancarlo85

    @bottom250: What about a bit of self respect? And I am being bluntly honest.

  • balehead

    More straight to gay fantasy for pathetic gays who hate themselves….

  • callenstewart

    I find this very hard to believe. And you can’t say “no homo” with a dick in your mouth.

  • callenstewart

    @balehead: Truth.

  • jayson1

    I have never met a straight man behind closed doors.

  • Rich Jaedicke

    A that’s called a gay guy

  • Ladbrook

    There’s a lot of bi-ignorance on this thread. As someone else pointed out earlier, there is a ‘B’ in LGBT, and even in the LGBT community there seems to be an incredible level of ignorance about it. Western culture has deemed “heterosexuality” as the norm and “homosexuality” as not the norm (or, ‘the other’ if you prefer). Culturally we still view bisexuality, esp among males, as some sort of transitional state of being. Bi men are thus defined as closeted gay men or men in the process of coming out. Kinsey saw all of this as nonsense and declared that the vast majority of humans are indeed bisexual. Some may be 80% straight, some 60% gay, or whatever, but all are seemingly forced to pick a side and stick with it.

    It’s really a shame. As gay men, we have adopted this lame attempt at forced heterosexuality and are actually preventing the normalization of what is a perfectly normal sexual identity: bisexuality.

  • Ladbrook

    And on a side note: This article was titled “More And More Straight Guys Are Giving Each Other ‘Bro-Jobs'” … but maybe it should have been titled: “More and More Self-Identified Straight Guys Are Admitting to Behavior That Reveals a Growing Comfort with Bisexuality.”

  • mikelphx

    Oh please any gay guy could of told you this. I think it is more “straight” guys getting a BJ from gay boys. Of course they are gonna say it is a bro job from other “straight” men. Nah it is gay guys doing the giving.

  • tusgold

    guys typically have a higher sex drive and there are various locations say on a college whee you can get a bi and go. Especially now with gays being more accepted.My bf just turned 25. He’s married divorced with a daughter. We haven’t had sex yet but I am patient with him. Guys give better head and if you are not a drama queen two guys get along better than a hetro couple/ Bottom line when girls wont suck dick they come to the gays. I really am relationship oriented and i have
    seem my fair share of wedding rings the few as in like 5 or 6 times.

  • SteveDenver

    Not just for white guys, for any guys… and women too.
    Unless you’ve absolutely committed to another person, sex should be fun and open.

  • Sluggo2007

    I have sucked many a straight, married dick and many times the sucking was reciprocated. When it was over, they went back to their marriages. Men love BJ’s. What’s the surprise?

  • Avery Alvarez

    @Iancu Avram: Actually, there is no such thing as “straight people”
    You’re a homo, brother. Why else would you be here?

  • Avery Alvarez

    @etseq: The writer is a quack.

    “…she views them as mechanisms of social control and dominance by some mysterious power elite.”

    What’s her flavor of delusion? Illuminati or Patriarchy?

  • GayEGO

    If the straight guy wants to prove he is straight he should pay attention to his willy. If it stands up when performing the BJ act, then he likely is at least bisexual, if not, then he is likely straight.

  • crowebobby

    I’ll go along with straight guys “getting” blow jobs. But even as a gay man who had crushes on classmates from the 2nd grade on, taking a dick in my mouth the first time was a challenge. There was such a taboo attached to it and I was taught from earliest childhood to think of it as something dirty. Maybe it was just my New England puritan upbringing.

  • Billy Budd

    Straight guys don’t give as much good head as a full blown homosexual. It is just impossible for them to avoid biting with the teeth and other let-downs.

  • mujerado

    What I don’t understand is what it has to do with being white. She says “white men” more than once in her article, as if this is exclusively a white activity. Why drag race into the question at all?

  • karl61058

    What a wonderful way of expressing and putting into words no one will read but gay men, probably.
    Straight guys need to get over themselves and discover more about themselves. It’s just one way of getting the populous, if they pay attention, to realize that what the hippies in the 60s were say was right: Make love not war.
    Maybe, if more men got their prostate massaged every once and a while, etc., it would lessen their need to be hostile toward the things that they fear-being queer, perhaps?
    But then what would happen to the WWF?
    Perhaps this information should be disseminated to the public in a larger way, if possible. Or perhaps, word of mouth will be enough, or not enough?
    More later…
    PS Never seen so many responses to an article on Queerty before.

  • karl61058

    Oh and as for being a “white guy thing,” it only makes good science, the need to narrow in on a subject to understand: to study it more closely and thoroughly.

  • lilmrneal

    @Scott Marr: haaaa :D

  • Jacob23

    @mujerado: Because SJWs, and especially SJW academics, feel the need to racialize everything. Part of their schtick is that they are “revealing” or “unpacking” hidden hierarchies, and in SJW academia you earn the most cookies if you expose some hidden racial hierarchy in whatever subject you are writing about. So it makes good professional sense for Ward to make this only about straight white men, the target whom no SJW will defend. Also, because she is white, limiting her book to white men allows her to be as hostile and judgmental as she wants without fear of being accused of racism or racial “appropriation.” If she had “unpacked” and “deconstructed” homoerotic or homosexual conduct in, for example, Black fraternities, she would be vulnerable to such an attack.

  • lilmrneal

    you get a blow job, i get a blow job….everybody gets a blowjobbbbb

  • DutchGay

    I don’t get the fascination some gays have for “straight” guys. Is it the “hunting”, the seduction, the ego-boos when they get a “straight” guy in bed ? I prefer true gay guys. At least they know what they are doing. Or actually I prefer only 1; my husband. Ain’t nobody better than him :-)

  • Jacob23

    @Gourmandises: I really, really wish that your theory were true. When I first heard that idea – that we are inherently bisexual but that societal repression forces the innately bisexual population to limit itself to heterosexuality – it had instant appeal. But the scientific method requires that we follow the evidence and base our conclusions on facts, not on our personal attachment to a hypothesis. There is just no evidence of bisexuality’s being a dominant or even common sexual orientation anywhere in the world. If you talk about orientation (a consistent pattern of thoughts, feelings and desires), then it’s as low as .7% or as high as 2%, with the possibility that societal stigma is repressing a further 1-2%. If you talk about any bisexual conduct over the course of peoples’ lives, even very infrequent conduct, then the numbers are larger, and can hit the double digits. Arguably, someone who has had a couple of same-sex events in his entire life is not bisexual but is something like a Kinsey 1, but even counting all of these cases as bisexual, you don’t come anywhere close to showing inherent bisexuality in most or all people. These stats seem pretty consistent whether you are talking about the US in 1994, the US in 2015, the fairly un-repressed country of the Netherlands, Canada, the UK, Australia, etc. I know you mention ancient cultures, but there are no hard data from those times that I’ve ever seen.

  • Guy068

    Remember when straight guys could get some and it was called trade? This intolerance against those men and insisting they have to be bi or gay has ruined it…

  • rikard

    i’ll back this one up. i have had lots of boring perfunctory bj’s from straight guys. i have had lots of inspired bp’s from closeted straight acting guys. there is a difference.

  • Chet Lindsay

    This is not new! Happens ALL THE TIME! tee her!

  • Kieran

    So the moral of the story is straight white c o c k s u c k e r s have their privileges? And No Homo.

  • balddude13

    Broh now, Brohomo later. Just sayin’.

  • DonW

    @David Jefferson Pearcey: “So sick of all this gay news. Get over it already. Do we have to talk about gay gay gay ALL THE TIME !”

    And you would be reading a gay news site because…?

  • str0ngice

    this is a bit scary explanation. sounds like racial supremacy which may lead to racial discrimination.

  • Awakened

    Look, men have ALWAYS been sexually active with each other. This unrealistic Christian family model does not work! It only till recent time that society has been divided into sexuality boxes and it needs to stop.
    Lets not try to analyse men in general because it is fruitless as everyone is trying their best to cope with all these forced mutations to culture.
    I say lets go back in time a remember indigenous cultures where men were able to have relations their entire lives with other men and still marry and have kids. the family unit was larger and more supportive and children were brought up by the entire community. Check out
    and also for some historical reminders of how we once were. Maybe we can recapture some of these traditions and not go around labeling any more.

  • jason smeds

    I think all straight-identifying men have the ability to be with another man in an intimate way. The level of intimacy may vary, however. It could be a form of “virility bonding” where the men masturbate together over images of women. It may be kissing each other. These and other things are all possible.

    But you won’t hear these men bragging about same-sex feelings or experiences.

  • jason smeds

    I suspect that it is women who fear male homosexuality the most. They find it a threat, especially if it exists in men who are also attracted to women. It gives men power as such men can opt into men if the woman doesn’t provide sex to him.

    The war of the sexes is actually a war against male power and the associated right of men to opt into men if women don’t provide.

  • RyePat

    @mikelphx: Good point!

  • RyePat

    Let’s agree that some straight men AREN’T horrifically disgusted by the idea of a man sucking their dick, or themselves sucking a dick. They can still identify with being heterosexual still right? Why not? We want to tell them they are Bi, but who are we?

    If there isn’t any ‘disgust’ about it; wouldn’t the pleasure be the point of it all?(or why else do’s not peer pressure) Isn’t that the feeling all of us are constantly chasing. Pleasure?

    I do however find it very interesting that straight men would bro-job enough to have an article written about it.

    I also find it interesting why STILL care about who is ‘bro-jobbing’ with who. I’m feeling jealous either way. A blow job by either sex right now would be fantastic and welcomed event.. AH HAHAHA!

  • Ladbrook

    @jason smeds: Did you get all that deep learnin’ from your online Sex-Ed course at Phoenix U?

  • Malibu Eric

    Fortunately this happened to me A LOT during my college years as I was happy to help out many a frat boy…but does this really happen after one’s youthful days? Or have times really changed?

  • JED08

    @Thomas Cameron: But they aren’t talking about straight guys getting a BJ from a gay guy, I think that happens regularly, they are talking about two straight guys. I’ve never heard of this occurring, so call me skeptical.

  • Androne

    Im not buying this lady’s Brojob theory. To me this so call brojob excuse of a theory is nothing but being bisexual to whatever percentage and not realizing it
    cause you obviously like performing this act on occasion.

  • xdanw

    Yeah, it’s called being bisexual, look it up.

    Sexuality is not, nor has it ever been, black and white. If it turns you on even a little bit to mess around with the other sex, you’re bi. Why is everyone scared of that word?

    • mujerado

      Not one of us has the right to tell anyone else who or what they are. If I have sex with a woman (for whatever reason) I’m still gay. It’s not what I look like or how I act; it’s my own identity. We should be more receptive to this idea than we are. Our trans friends are demonstrating it every day. You’re who you say you are, and nothing more. You guys trying to foist the “bisexual” label on the guys this article is talking about is just as wrong as someone telling a gay guy he doesn’t really know what he wants, that it’s just a “phase.” Guys get off with each other all the time, and it’s nobody else’s business or right to judge them or label them because of it.

  • Giancarlo85

    @jason smeds: You are so full of shit. You know what you fear? Women in positions of power. They exercise power over you and make you feel inept and impotent.

    You don’t know anything about human sexuality.

  • martinbakman

    Whoopi, ow guest today has witten a book about stwait men that will give one another a bwo job!

  • LoliLauren

    A new word for my lexicon. “Bro-Job”.

  • RicardoPS

    Thank God there is a straight woman to help me to understand, because as a gay man I must know nothing about sex between men I so need HER to tell me. NOT. Thanks again Lady

  • Clark35

    @RyePat: Those guys can claim all they want that they are “Straight” but if they are having sex with a man or want to then they’re really bisexual or even gay and just in denial or even closeted about their sexuality. I know of no actual heterosexual men or women who have, or who have wanted to have sex with the same gender/sex.

    • mujerado

      @Clark35: You not knowing about doesn’t mean it isn’t true. I daresay there are a number of things in this world you don’t know about, yet they continue to happen. Truth is truth, whether we believe it or not.

  • Kiltedbear

    For fuck sakes! It’s not complicated. HELLO? Kinsey explained this back in the 1950’s for fuck sakes. MOST PEOPLE ARE NOT 100% STRAIGHT OR GAY. It’s a damn bell curve of some sort and most people lie someplace in between. That’s where bi-curiosity comes from. Very few people are pure hetero or homosexual. WHY DO WE KEEP DEMANDING THAT IT’S BLACK AND WHITE, GAY OR STRAIGHT. GET OVER IT.

  • Thisguy

    I think it is great these guys can keep and opened mind.

  • Maude

    Eat pussy all your life, suck one dick and your gay.
    What if you suck dick all your life, and eat one pussy…does that mean your straight?
    I don’t think so.
    Conclusion: Do either, or both. No labels. Enjoy.

  • Brian Crim


  • Maude

    WOW, that was an eye opener,and a keeper. Thanks for the links.

  • Maude

    We use to say. “Today’s trade, is tomorrow’s competition.”

  • ashton7326

    i didn’t read the article and so i don’t know what a bro job is. :)

  • lauretta12

    all you produce disgust, all you are horrible creatures for evil

  • Dave4445

    What does this have to do with reaffirming one’s ‘whiteness?’ As if it wouldn’t apply to any race, strange perspective.

  • dexdexter

    In USA, many still use labels & most don’t understand sexual acts do not always equal orientation.

    It’s very realistic that a so called straight male likes to actually have sex with another male for a fast get off or a bonding kind of thing. His love life with his GF/wife will be much better & longer lasting too. If 1 is gay & 100 straight, no one is 1 or 100. Everyone falls in the middle but usually lower or higher than 50. A so called straight male is not going to feel romance towards another male & he’s not going to want a live in relationship so we are talking an intense once a week sort of thing watch a movie then have a great orgasm or in many cases, a stranger where no names or words even spoken. Straight men love sex with their women & they love that romance but many need that bonding with another dude. After all, a woman is offering the man one thing. Slipping his sausage in but not much else per sex itself so this is totally sex only. It used to be a lucky thing for gay types that loved straight types but now, more straight types are just buds taking care of business without need of that more gay type dude.

    Most men have at some point in life had sex with same sex. Many so called gay males have had sex with a female but oddly, more straight types are willing to do gay sex than gay types are to do the other sex. Another thing is age. Men are the same on this; most want YOUNGER so if you’re 40, the 22 year old perceives you sexually as you perceive the 70 year old so are you turned on by the 70 year old? Not likely so the 22 year old isn’t too likely turned on sexually be age 40. Stick close to own age or within 10 years for sex or relationships & know sex does not always equal orientation so it’s not a question of denial or closet cases most of the time.

    Germany learned this long ago as did most of Europe but US is a young nation like a kid learning these facts.

  • Charles

    @David Chachki: I would say they aren’t really straight either

  • Charles


    Sexual actions don’t equal sexual orientation, but I would say they are often indicative of them.

    “Most men have at some point in life had sex with same sex. ”

    Where did you get that from?

  • Charles

    @rikard: They could just be bad at BJ’s

  • Charles

    @RyePat: Who are we? People who can see through BS.

  • Charles


    No, it’s just seeing through the self deception of others. I don’t believe in encouraging people to lie to themselves or others.

    If you had sex with a woman just to have sex with her you might be a little bi. Some people lack self honestly and awareness and a lot of people can see right thourgh it.

  • Charles

    @Maude: You can use labels and do both ya know

  • Charles

    I understand that sometimes a guy gets drunk, or is curious, or super horny and men are easier to get sex from. But I feel that a guy that acts on it is at least heteroflexible.

    I think a lot of these straight guys call themselves straight because they are mostly straight and saying others would send the wrong single.

    Like they are 99% straight, but that is technically bi. but they don’t want to date guy or anything so straight fits them more than bi so I kinda get why they still say they are straight.
    But they also may be more bi than they think and just don’t want to loose their straight privilege

    What I don’t like about the way “identify” is used these days is that it’s used as a caveat. I think a lot of these guys.

    SO I think the best thing to call these guys are heteroflexible, or technically bi, but practically straight

  • Dave4445


    I had a 42 year old boyfriend when I was 19, very sexy man, I’m middle aged now and quite a few men in their 20s have pursued me. Inter-generational relationships are common and can be healthy. I prefer my own generation but I don’t judge others. Just because you see 40 as old and unattractive, don’t assume that others do. I’m not attracted to men until they’re well into their 30s.

  • Rob

    I would hate to make a judgement on this issue without all the relevant data. I’d have to watch a couple of straight guys give each other bro-jobs a few times before reaching a tentative conclusion on it.

  • thomphelps

    Dick don’t care who blows him, as long as he gets off. Preference and opportunity are two different things. I’ve given many straight men reason to question their heterosexuality but almost all of them remained straight.

  • jerry_pritikin

    Well, after reading this and getting ready to hit my 79th birthday, I discovered something… After telling myself and others that I was openly gay…I’m straight!

  • Robert1979

    Don’t trust Jane Ward, she was jilted by her husband for a gay guy and her advice is always the same-DIVORCE HIM.

    With that being said I have been happily harried 23 years and have had a boyfriend, also happily married for 23 years. Of course the wives don’t know but our families are friends and take joint trips together, etc.

    John I will call him I don’t think could have made it without our relationship. A loner with no siblings and no close friends, his kids are off at college. He had to put his wife in rehab. I spent a week with him (he lives a couple of ours away) and after we ate and got in bed he just started crying, laying there on my chest. It took him 10 years to admit he loved me so I was so glad it could be there for him. I was a little hesitant ti initiate making love considering the situation but he wasn’t. After making love five times that night we finally fell asleep and it was that way every night until I went home. Does my wife suspect? Probably. I already told her I loved him and did not d=say in what way hot I try to have sex with her a few times a month but emotionally I still love her as much as John. John’s wife is the bitch who needs to go away.

    Before John and I hooked up, every one of my straight buddies and I would at least jerk each other off and if the mood was right such you. That is how John and I got [email protected]thomphelps:

  • penisland

    “A straight white girl can kiss a girl, like it, and still call herself straight—her boyfriend may even encourage her. But can straight white guys experience the same easy sexual fluidity, or would kissing a guy just mean that they are really gay?”

    That’s called bisexual. If you enjoy the experience of being sexually intimate with the same sex and with the opposite sex, you are bisexual.

  • Jerdeh76

    I will let another guy suck me off anytime and I will suck him off as long as we both want it

  • dale5of7

    @penisland: No.. That’s what YOU call bisexual. The terms “gay” and “bisexual” are labels that (in my opinion) refer to a person’s social/emotional orientation than anything sexual. Its not a rejection of same sex relationships at all.

  • t

    I’m currently “relieving” 4 men who identify as straight. All either have girlfriends they live with or have wives. I don’t make a big scenario out of hooking up with them. I don’t text them without them texting me first. I only respond and never initiate. We don’t make it a big game of “hide and seek” when we hook up and that’s why they trust me. Of course we are discreet but there’s not this huge build-up of making it happen. It just happens and it’s done until next time, whenever they need to. They don’t do anything more than touch me and I don’t try to push the limits with them or give them any reason to trust me. Do I wish that any one of them could be more to me than what we are now? Of course but I wouldn’t do anything to sabotage their current relationships. Through this experience I fully believe that if you don’t force people to attach or accept labels for themselves then they are much more comfortable with experiencing what they desire. Do I feel like a homewrecker in training? Of course I fear that would happen if they got busted but I do everything in my power to make sure they are safe from losing their home life. For now I’m glad I can help them figure things out about their lives and don’t ask for anything in return. If a “straight” man trusts you enough (and is attracted enough to you), it will happen but dudes, don’t get your hopes up too high and make it you’re dying game to trap a straight man. It doesn’t happen that way.

  • smit50

    Its the human evolution.
    If those tags didn’t exist everybody would be free to suck wherever they wanted and nobody would say anything…

  • RavenousFallen

    When I was a teen I would often give my straight friends handjobs when they spent the night. The only real problem was circumcision… it’s easy to just grab a intact dude and start jerking him… any hesitance will quickly diminish by how good it feels and he’ll let you do it. It’s not so easy to do that with a cut guy, you need some sort of lube.. granted to say making the first move by spitting on his penis could get you a black eye. xD

  • RavenousFallen

    But they were absolutely straight and went onto have girlfriends, have kids, wives, etc… I don’t think any of them were gay at all or even bi. None of them wanted to jerk me off in return and I didn’t pressure them to. But I’m bi, so I enjoyed just giving them favors, expecting nothing in return.

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