STRAIGHT TO BED

Why Straight Men Are Acting Way More Gay Than Ever Before

Pat Robertson was right. It seems his prophecy, and our secret mission, is actually happening. The homosexual crusade to convert innocent heterosexuals actually is paying dividends–even if the oleaginous Robertson himself seems to elude our charms.

That’s right. Heterosexuals the world over are acting way more gay than ever before, thanks to our obvious seductiveness and, well, TV shows like Modern Family, gay wedding cakes, and of course songs by Cher.

And can you blame them? Now that bigotry is diminishing, even non-gay guys can see how good we have it: the sexual liberation, the freedom from peer pressure and stereotyping, gender fluidity. Non-marriage and monogamy. Did we mention our own film fests and go-go boys?

Just how did we accomplish our goal? We’d never be so foolish as to divulge our secrets. But we can share with you the fruits of our labor.

Scroll down to see all the ways in which straight guys have been acting more gay…

tumblr_njy21r2uiP1tbycouo1_500

Cuddling

More and more straight dudes are trading in fist bumps, high fives and back slapping for spooning and snuggling. A study published in the journal Men and Masculinities earlier this year found that 93 percent of straight-identifying British lads have cuddled with another guy, and a whopping 98 percent said they’d shared a bed with another man. Many claimed they did so for practical reasons, like crashing at a friend’s place after a night on the town, but others said they did it to “feel close” to their guy friends. Isn’t that sweet?

Screen shot 2015-03-20 at 2.52.53 PM

Bottoming

Earlier this month, one of our favorite vloggers Davey Wavey convinced straight dude Donald to try bottoming on camera. Sort of. Armed with a butt plug and lots of lube, Donald allowed himself to be videotaped from the waist up as he inserted the vibrating device into his derriere. “You know,” he said midway through the experiment, “I would say it feels pretty good because I’m starting to get hard.” Then he got straight to the point: “This weird magical spot in there that you wouldn’t expect to feel good.”

Screen shot 2015-03-20 at 3.44.18 PM

Kissing

The folks over at Buzzfeed like to throw straight dudes into a big ‘ole pile of gays just to see what happens. They’ve imagined what if would be like if straight people had to come out, pried self-professed straight guy to dish on hot male celebrities, and even convincedbesties to look at each other naked for the first time. You know, for science. But our favorite experiment has to be the time they had straight guys kiss men for the first time. While the end result was more awkward than hot, we were still happy to see so many hetero dudes down with swapping spit with one another.

Young man is sitting in bed and watching pornography on laptop

Watching gay erotica

Last November we uncovered a Reddit thread in which a straight man by the name of “father_figa” confessed to having “a very high sex drive and perhaps a smattering of sexual addictions,” which caused him to regularly watch gay porn. He then asked if other hetero guys ever did the same. More than 75 dudes replied by saying they, too, got off on watching hardcore man-on-man action.

Screen shot 2015-03-20 at 4.31.18 PM

Having gay sex

Perhaps the gayest behavior straight men have begun engaging lately is gay sex. Last December, yet another allegedly straight man took to Reddit to confess “I feel very attracted to girls and not at all to men when sober, but when I get high I just want a big cock to suck and a man who fucks the shit out of me.” So one day he “decided to have sex with a guy.”

Ultimately, he decided it kind of “grossed him out,” but he was glad he gave it it the good ‘ol schoolboy try.

We are, too.

Take that, Pat Robertson!

Related stories:

Straight Men Whisper Their Secret Gay Desires

Science Explains Why So Many Straight Dudes Fantasize About Having Gay Sex Together

Watch What Happens When Straight Male Friends See Each Other Naked For The First Time

Get Queerty Daily

Subscribe to Queerty for a daily dose of #butt #buzzfeed #cuddling stories and more

70 Comments

  • Tackle

    Another day, and another post from Queerty about straight men. This just screams insecurity. (Because straight men are doing it/acting a certain way, it’s Ok to be gay). I wonder if straight men obsess over gay men this much, and think that because gay men do certain things straight men do, it’s Ok to be straight???

  • Gary Williams

    That is funny to be honest because many gay men are trying their hardest to be the most manly, ruggest men they can be just like straight men have been doing since the beginning of life because their muscularity is so appealing to most of us. Now the modern straight men bascially just undo everything they have worked so hard to maintain their macho gay images just to be metrosexual pretty straight boys. LOL This can’t be real but if so, then life is funny. :)

  • Captain proton

    @Tackle: nah, straight men are too busy obsessing over lesbians :)

  • AtticusBennett

    what’s really happening is that people are (finally) challenging “what it means to be a man”

    ever been to “gaybros” on reddit? their warped views on “masculinity” and “straight guys” and “gay guys” show how much more progress is needed; many seem to equate being uncultured with being a “man”. their idea of “masculinity” or “manliness” is little more than some small-town redneck idea of What Men Should Be. Slobby, uncultured, uncreative, unartistic, messy, boring, dull, etc.

    Aziz Ansari pretty much made that statements in his jokes at the James Franco roast.

    the problem has never ever been “gay stereotypes” but the knee-jerk assumptions that something being deemed “a gay stereotype” made it inherently negative. thus, we got too many gay men trying to not be ” stereotypically gay”, and legions of idiotic straight boys who seemed to take pride in being an uncultured neanderthal.

  • Mikah

    “Than Ever Before”? Actually there have been many of time periods and cultures throughout history,when men being attracted to each other and expressing that attraction was not only accepted,but celebrated and admired.The virulent kind of homophobia among males of our time is more of a recent phenomenon that we devolved into as ideas and what is acceptable changes,due to the kind of social conditioning,and how sexuality has been defined in the homophobic social construct.

  • gaypalmsprings

    We already know from Ben Carson that straight men sent to prison come out gay. So many toaster ovens are flying off the shelves in prison.

  • Captain Obvious

    Internet is so full of bs lately it’s getting to the point of complete and utter stupidity.

    There was always a bit of fantasy online mixed with silliness and lies… but this is out of control.

    Keep up your myth of “gender fluidity” and rampant bisexuality all you like. It’ll only exist in your dreams where it’s currently residing right now. That straight guy you’re still lusting after is not going to up and bend you over one day.

    As Tackle said this straight worship reeks of insecurity and it’s beyond pathetic. There are millions of gay men out there in the world, there’s no reason for gay men to ever be concerned with straight men whatsoever.

  • brionc29

    @Tackle: This is less about the binary between gay and straight, and more about what defines men. Also, yes, I imagine many straight men do obsess quite a bit about gay men.

  • Black Pegasus

    @Tackle: @Captain Obvious: I logged on just to voice my agreement with the two of you. This bullshtt about straight men moving towards anything that’s “gay identifying” is absolute fantasy for those whom are obsesses with heterosexual men. While the Internet can be a brilliant source of information, the misinformation is twice as dangerous.

  • DistingueTraces

    The vicarious embarrassment, it burns….

  • Billy Budd

    Once, many years ago, I met on a chat room a conflicted straight guy who met me in person and cried like a baby saying that he had pleasure “there” and therefore was gay. I tried to convince him that ALL guys have pleasure there and he would be gay only if he felt attracted to the same sex. Stright guys have the PEGGING option.

  • DuMaurier

    @Captain Obvious: I saw an online comment on a gay site from a young man who said flatly his only sexual interest was seducing straight men and then contemptuously discarding them because “after that, they’re just gay guys.” He got an enraged reaction, but let’s not pretend; the “straight guy” obsession is not a fringe thing, it’s pervasive in gay erotica/porn/fantasy/real-life seduction [attempts]. It always has been. I guess the most innocent take is that it’s about conquering the unobtainable (like the straightlaced-virgin-seduction-by-an-overpowering-male fantasy for hetero guys); the most dismal is that it IS based on insecurity and self-loathing.

    The article’s examples for its “thesis” are mostly weird, but I do think (mostly younger) straight guys are less worried about making sure they project a rigidly, stereotypically “real man” front, which I guess in a way can be interpreted as acting “more gay”. A lesbian friend, her wife and I got together recently and the discussion turned to the son of a mutual friend (we’re all in our 50’s) My friend was adamant that he had to be gay, based on externals (clothes, mannerisms, etc) that would have been considered “conclusive” 30 years ago, but which I (and her wife) definitely consider outdated now. “You just can’t tell any more by stuff like that,” we tried to convince her, but she was firm. Pink shirt, loose-wristed gestures, giggly laugh, etc–can only mean one thing!

  • jwtraveler

    @Tackle: I’m with you 100%. I’m so tired of this crap.

  • JohnMc888

    Oh c’mon, there’s nothing new here. Fundamentalist preachers have acted like gay drama/drag queens forever.

  • JohnMc888

    @Black Pegasus: Cuddling has always been common among a large segment of the British male population. It’s not a gay fantasy. “just cuddling” is often cited as a British male preference between men and women too. perhaps it started with unheated rooms and proceeded from there. Who knows.

  • GayEGO

    Hey! We are evolving and who knows? More and more genders are coming out i.e. LGBTQI etc. and there will probably be more.

    At least the straight guys don’t have to worry about getting us gay guys pregnant! :>)

  • JohnMc888

    @Tackle: Do you watch YouTube? It seems very important among a large population of straights young guys to say “not gay” just to prove they are not gay. That seems to me to be an obsession with gays.

  • Paco

    “Why Gay Men Are Wishing Straight Men Were Gay More Than Ever Before”

    @JohnMc888: hardly comparable, since the obsession some gay men have about straight men is to get them into bed for validation and the straight men who obsess about gay men is more about distancing themselves from something they think makes them look like lesser men or weak.

  • Garold Bulmerr

    wo.,mens pop out baabys like wild dogs in heat men needs love sex blow jobs not mom sex

  • Desert Boy

    Plus, women can be such complete and utter bitches, blaming men for all their failures, it’s little wonder more and more straight men turn to each other for friendship, love and intimacy. Sometimes I want to tell these gals who complain they can’t find a good man, “girl, try to be a little less of a bitch and a lot nicer”.

  • Daveliam

    This author really REALLY needs to learn how to report on research findings. This is the second time that he’s reported that British study about m/m bed sharing incorrectly. He keeps saying that 98% of straight British men report this. It’s 39 British college students in a program. It’s hardly universal and it speaks no further than a handful of British guys. It’s embarrassing to see such poor ‘reporting’ happening over and over. I can always tell when it’s one of his articles by the click-bait sensationalistic title and erroneous, exaggerations in the articles.

  • smittoons

    So done with this site. Bad click bait, a bizarre fixation on Davey Wavey, uncomfortable fantasies about straight guys, overblown indignant attacks on everyone from Russell Tovey to Hillary Clinton… It’s just a mess!

  • jwtraveler

    @Desert Boy: And misogyny rears its ugly head.

  • jason smeds

    Oh, please – this is nothing new. Male-male physical affection has been around for thousands of years. The internet didn’t invent it.

    The reason male-male physical affection has been legally and socially prevented from advancing to the male-male sex stage is because it unbalances society. It makes women redundant. Under this scenario, men find each other’s company more comforting, and thus abandon women altogether.

    All these anti-homosexual laws through the centuries have been designed to prevent what we refer to as straight-identifying guys from preferring men over women. They’re based on the fear of conversion or temptation.

  • Clark35

    @Daveliam: Exactly. Then you have people who are bisexual or gay but not sure or not out who post on Reddi and queerty assumes that “all men are bisexual”. *facepalm*

  • Saint Law

    @jason smeds: Yes we know – men keep rejecting your advances. That isn’t because of women’s disapproval though – it’s because you’re odd looking and obsessed.

    Learn to be happy in your celibacy – it will significantly reduce the risk of another stroke.

  • Giancarlo85

    I’m not really concerned with what straight men are supposedly doing. That’s their own business. People like Jason smeds can resort to any kind of revisionism… but it doesn’t change the reality.

    Jason seems to hate women too… he gets so angry at them. I guess it’s the delusional perspective that he can’t get some STRAIGHT GUY (never mind that straight men aren’t attracted to the same sex, let alone some potbelly like Jason smeds).

  • polarisfashion

    Too many articles in here about straight guys that like this and do that. I care more about LGBTQ issues.

  • Realitycheck

    @Giancarlo85:
    >>I guess it’s the delusional perspective that he can’t get some STRAIGHT GUY
    >>(never mind that straight men aren’t attracted to the same sex,

    I had a friend like that, always complaining and getting upset…
    “I don’t want a gay guy I want a real (straight) man”.
    One day I had enough and told him, “a real straight man wants a real
    woman, you are not a woman, and you are standing in a gay bar.

    I am all for people having fantasies, but keep them in your mind, don’t translate
    them in to everyday reality, otherwise you got schizophrenia.

    And yes who cares about straight guys………….

  • martinbakman

    @AtticusBennett: I love Aziz Ansari !! His MSG show on Netflix is awesome.

    I believe some of the knee jerk reactions are fading away because the stigma of men touching is so much less now. Straight guys that always wanted to show affection have been afraid to do so. But In recent times they seem much less afraid to do so.

  • TemptyK

    Sick of Atticus Bennett and Queerty spewing the same shit over and over again. For a gay site, Queerty sure is obsessed about straight men. Who the fuck cares about British dudes? Have you seen those teeth? Find a new object of your obsession and move on from this creepy “what it means to be a man” shite! It ain’t entertaining anymore!

  • Cee

    In the old days guys used to bathe together and it was considered normal.
    They had wives and families and bathed with their buddy.
    The way things are today is “new.” Not the way we’re supposed to be.
    Guys shouldn’t be afraid to be close to their buddy, but everything is “no homo” nowadays. Like I’m gonna hug you dude, but no homo. I like you dude, but no homo.

  • Giancarlo85

    @Cee: In Latin American countries, like Argentina… guys hug each other and give a kiss on the cheek to greet each other. I think this is the case in some European countries…

    It’s just in America people are touchy and if you get too close it’s sexual harassment.

  • Zenguy

    @AtticusBennett:

    You hit it on the head! That’s exactly what’s happening now. Men are now shattering the limited concept of what it is to be a man. Men are loosening up to show a range of emotions and physical affections that were not preciously part of the straight macho man playbook. And they are not afraid to show their vulnerability.

    People tend to want categorize others for their own needs. “Well, he must be gay,” or “he must be bi.” It could either or neither. Humanity and sexuality comes in fifty or more shades of grey. So I don’t subscribe to the witch hunt mentality of social media that demands anyone to proclaim or hold themselves to an absolute definition.

    It’s really wonderful when you see straight men who are not off-put or offended if they are perceived as gay or as having gay sensibilities(however one defines them!) Some men will even take it as a compliment, as they should. It attests to their multidimensional character.

  • Zenguy

    @jason smeds:

    Perhaps you are overstating your point. The theory that society has been subverting homosexuality in order to keep men from abandoning woman seems too far fetched, but it speaks to the ignorance which still plays out in modern day politics. Often the ignorance is is justifiable by religious beliefs. Often it is strategically feigned ignorance designed to appeal their voter base.

  • Justin Hall

    I’d still like to know how anyone can ACT gay?

  • jason smeds

    Zenguy,

    You need to understand that male sexuality is a powerful force. When it manifests as male-male sexuality, it is an even more powerful force. Women find it threatening, especially if such a sexuality exists in men who are also attracted to women.

    Through the centuries, opponents of male homosexuality have based their opposition on the fear of conversion or temptation. It’s even in the Bible where men are described as turning away from women and instead lusting after men.

    Thus, it’s about the fear of conversion.

  • Sluggo2007

    Straight men are now more comfortable with each other because they are realizing that friendships naturally progress to some degree of affection. It doesn’t mean they are “doing gay things.” A hug, a peck on the cheek; it’s just natural. Some of them even take it further than that, but that’s their business and nobody else’s. It doesn’t mean they’re gay.

  • Giancarlo85

    @jason smeds: More of the same misogynist bullshit. I think what happened to Smeds here is a straight crush of his went and found a girlfriend. Possibly got married. Smeds tried to make passes to that straight man but was rejected.

    Then he brings up the bible… Nothing more than fiction.

  • Bauhaus

    @Saint Law:

    Learning to be happy in his celibacy may even help with his ED. The odd looks, though! That’s rough.

    @Giancarlo85:

    Ask Jason how ol’ jimbryant is faring these days. Just ask. Simple question. No, that was naughty and passive aggressive of me. Don’t do it. He he.

  • Bauhaus

    @Sluggo2007:

    No, it just means they’re gayish. I mean no disrespect.

  • jwtraveler

    If straight men are becoming less homophobic, that’s a good thing, but I don’t need them to “act gay” in order to validate my homosexuality.

  • Camper13

    Im not gay, i have been married for 21 years and have a 20 year old son, an 18 and 16 year old daughters. I am mostly reserching what makes people gay. About 13 years ago i worked with a gay guy and he was just disgusting. Im not much of a speller so just go with it. All he talked about was his date each night and all the stuff they did and it just made you want to barf! I have worked for a concrete co. ever since then and we have a gay guy working for us now, he does not talk about all the things he does but he seems to have a new partner all the time. Don’t gays ever just date and get a real relationship going or is it all just sex? I am old school where guys never cry or touch each other but the guys now hug, kiss, grab butt, slap butt, pretend to be gay, i don’t get it. Guys come up to me at work and give me a big bear hug and everything in me wishes i could put star trek shields up. They do it because they know it buggs the crap out of me. Anyway i would just like to understand gays better.

  • Bauhaus

    @Camper13:

    You’re not researching what makes people gay. Stop pretending.

    What do you and your straight buddies talk about while mixing concrete? Pussy? Tits? Sex? What do your straight buds do until they settle down? Have a coffee klatch and braid each other’s hair? I highly doubt it. Straight guys do the same shit gay guys do. Wanna know the difference? Really? Gays have sex more readily available, if they want it, because men don’t deal with pregnancy and the stigma that comes with casual sex.

    By the way, “a handshake will do” can end all of your gay hugging drama. The ass slapping? Just try to enjoy it from a distance.

  • Paco

    @jason smeds: “It’s even in the Bible where men are described as turning away from women and instead lusting after men.”

    And what makes you assume the Bible was speaking about heterosexual men and not the gay population of the time? Even if they weren’t called “gay”, humanity has always had a certain percentage of the population being homosexual and bisexual.

    I guess in your magical world of “redundant” woman. The human race died out a long time ago.

    Also, straight-identifying men that do prefer men or women, aren’t straight no matter how much you mindfuck yourself in believing it. Give it a rest.

  • Paco

    @Paco: meant to say “prefer men OVER women”

  • Paco

    These articles really do us a disservice by trying to label normal homosocial behavior as “acting gay”. Cultures where it is the norm for men to hold hands, kiss in greeting, cuddle, or scrub each other’s backs, is not “acting gay”. Men that like butt play from their female sexual partners aren’t doing anything gay. Sheesh.

  • Bauhaus

    @Giancarlo85:

    “I think what happened to Smeds here is a straight crush of his went and found a girlfriend. Possibly got married. Smeds tried to make passes to that straight man but was rejected.”

    Well, you can just go and put Pollyanna right back in the closet. That’s been the nicest take on Jason, yet. What happened to your edge? If you want to figure Jason out (colossal waste of time and energy), ask him about jimbryant. Jason’s got a few other names, too. All the same crap, though. The next time you comment on Jason, I expect lots of colorful language!

    Actually, responding to Jason with nothing but a screed of profanity would be appropriate.

  • Camper13

    @Bauhaus: Well, your no help, i am not gay and am just reserching and you must not work in constuction to know what is talked about, yes we talk about those things but not like the crap some of the gay guys do some of it is just sick. I am the one that keeps al the concrete pumps running and so ia in bad positions at times and can’t see whats going on around me all the time to have time to put a hand out for just a hand shake and they do it on perpose and know they are just goofing around. Anyway, what ever.

  • Bauhaus

    @Camper13:

    I’m no help because I can’t take you seriously. Go troll somewhere else. Better yet, ask your children about the gays. They’re of a generation that are quite comfortable and familiar with gay topics. I’m sure they can fill you in with all of the little details you’re looking for (just to quench your gay curiosity).

  • Giancarlo85

    @Camper13: Wow you’re more of a dumbass troll than Jason. Try to troll harder.

    @Bauhaus: Yeah, you’re right about Jason. Not worth trying to figure him out.

  • Faggot

    And yet another QUEERTY piece of yellow journalism hoping desperately that straight men are just like gay men. Put that fantasy to rest already.

    It only proves that QUEERTY “writers” and/or its readership don’t know any straight men.

    Just try spooning with the average straight man and see what happens.
    Since most of them don’t even like doing it with their female friends, must less their girlfriends or wives, what delusion makes one think that it’s what a heterosexual man wants to do with other straight men, or his best gay buddy?

    The findings in this yellow piece of scandalous “journalism” are anecdotal at best, but that doesn’t stop QUEERTY from “reporting” them as fact.

  • DavidTheLeo

    I say “bulldingie!” I don’t believe it in times long ago and I don’t believe it now. If it quacks like a homo it IS a homo. End of story.

  • James Jurome

    Re post from last week I see…. Running out of material Queerty?

  • John Francis Maley

    Vast over generalizations abound in this article. It’s great and funny but like most journalism these days don’t take it too literally.

  • Justin Hall

    Still waiting on queerty to explain how one can “act gay”?

  • Bauhaus

    @Justin Hall:

    Mannerisms aside, if the thought, sight, or idea of getting with another guy reves your engine, you “act” on it.

  • Bauhaus

    @Giancarlo85:

    Jason and his many screen names…

    He’s an attention whore. He intentionally provokes.

    The thing is, he’s not stupid, he’s just a hot mess, intentionally contrary, angry, bitter, and an attention seeker. There has been fascinating research on trolling. Not unlike misbehaved children seeking any attention they can get, online trolls have masochistic traits. Cloaked in anonymity, they fire off inflammatory, offensive, and vile comments, knowing they will never be held accountable.

    Pathetic.

  • Paco

    @Justin Hall: I just find it comical that we have gone from “straight acting” gays to straights “acting gay” if they even glance in the direction of a gay man that find them hot. I guess the “straight acting” gays must be really disappointed to learn that they’ve really been acting gay all this time.

  • gamer

    Is this serious? This is straight up fiction. My god… someone can’t seriously believe this article. This site has some delusional writers. Can’t say that I didn’t have a chuckle reading it, though.

  • Ashland kentucky

    Straight men love women it’s simple there is no grey area.
    You want a man get a gay man or bisexual man. Role play cause it’s as close as your going to get. Not all gay men are into straight men ok. But these writers are so laughable . Talk about HIV you know the virus that has killed over 300,000 gay men. Virus saying guess what I’m still here 2010 29,800 gay men were affected.
    Young gay men are the most affected.many think AIDS was something in the past it hasn’t gone anywere. Just saying stop this stupid obession with straight men. I’m straight man who lost my uncle to Aids 1989 .not trying be downer and mag dies have good articles but these are such a waste

  • James Sigmon

    Where are these guys

  • Dennis Maloney Jr.

    Every male has some form of homosexuality in them, weather they want to admit it.

  • Shane Patton

    When we can learn that attraction doesn’t necessarily mean sexual then we can continue to evolve

  • Nathan Brandon Lee Kennedy

    Women are allowed to do this all the time, why should a man’s sexuality be questioned?

  • Randy Judd

    Agree with LGBT Author re headline. While there is still hate crime, it’s refreshing to witness the stigma of male male affection being swept aside. Hugs, kisses and affection are pretty much ingrained in Gay society, and perhaps that is what is being observed, learned and becoming standard all around!

  • ashton7326

    @Dennis Maloney Jr.: @Dennis Maloney Jr.:My form of homosexuality is called just accepting people for who they are and when a man tells me he is gay and has never slept with a woman I don’t say well you should its the best .And I know plenty of gay men who have never slept with or let alone kissed a woman. Its even worse for lesbians . Same for straight men they never been with a man because they have no desire end of story

Comments are closed.