Snake Oil

Maggie Gallagher Believes In Your Right To Ex-Gay Therapy

Well, Maggie Gallagher finally found a gay right she can get behind. It’s the right to be cured of being gay. Gallagher, the co-founder of the National Organization for Marriage, has been diversifying her homophobic (and failing) line of business to include conversion therapy. What better way to promote the cause than to turn it into a right!

And that’s what Maggie does. “People who want to live their sex lives in accord with their moral or religious teaching deserve the same right to seek help as other gay people,” she writes. See! She does believe in equal rights.

Gallagher’s latest pirouette into the deep space of nuttiness comes as she continues to insert herself into a consumer fraud case involving a New Jersey group that tried to “cure” young Jewish men of their homosexuality. The immediate impetus was an op-ed from a supporter of the conversion cause. In the fine journalistic tradition of giving discredited theories the visibility they don’t deserve, USA Today allowed Nicholas Cummings, a former president of the American Psychological Association, a ridiculous amount of space to argue that yes, indeedy, gays can be cured if they want to be. He should know. He started helping folks re-orient in the 1950s. (Cummings is now 89.)

Glad to find who shares her same superannuated sensibility, Maggie has been trumpeting Cummings’ column for its brilliance. “Cummings’s point is that competent therapy can be helpful to highly motivated patients who choose to deal with same-sex attraction in other ways than, well, being gay,” she wrote in her National Review Online column. Yes, by denying that they are gay. It’s every so much healthier. Just ask any psychologist born during Calvin Coolidge’s first term, and he’s likely to agree.

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  • Jared MacBride

    Biggest crisis for Maggie this year is when she thought the maker of Twinkies was going out of business.

  • 1EqualityUSA

    This is merely an effort to promulgate the myth that being gay is a choice. She’s beating this dead, flattened horse in an effort to shake more hate dollars out of the bigot-tree. Maggie has issues.

  • 2eo

    And I believe like all beached whales we should detonate her stomach immeduately preventing further unnecessary suffering.

  • QJ201

    I dunno I think Maggie needs some counseling for her blatant violations of the 7 Deady Sins.

    Let’s start with Gluttony.

  • Atomicrob

    Ms. Gallagher’s homophobic brand is being eroded by a new, collective reason sweeping the country. As she and others like her become less relevant to broader social reforms, her toxic rhetoric will become even more outrageous and therefore, scorned.

  • Garth

    Has she ever heard of the right to diet ?

  • windreader

    I believe in Maggie’s right to ex-Catholic therapy. From my personal and admittedly anecdotal evidence, ex-religious therapy is a lot more successful than next day therapy.

  • windreader

    That should read at the end of my sentence ex gay therapy. Reminder to self don’t use voice recognition software when commenting on this site.

  • 2eo

    @windreader: I think you’ll find none religious people are more balanced, educated, funnier and generally better for society.

    Backed up by actual evidence.

  • mykelb

    Dear Maggie, You also have the right to be incredibly stupid, wrong, immoral, and a waste of ink.

  • muscl954

    She is so hateful and bitter because as a fat girl she never had any gay friends.

  • nf0603

    This bitch looks like Ms. Swan LOL

  • JessicaNaomi

    Maggot-The-Slut needs to shove her gay bashing crap down her tyrannical theocRAT throat and choke on it with her JesusFreak Koolaid.

    Did that ChristoFascist ever graduate from Yale or did she have to drop out when she got knocked up by that dude who then abandoned her.

    Did Maggot-The-Slut ever have a real job or has she always been in the blood money begging business?


  • PSPoolside

    Maggie is a deeply disturbed woman. Her obsession with the private lives of others is really pathological, a sickness. She also has a rather tentative relationship with the truth.

  • PSPoolside

    @windreader: It worked for her mother.

  • jamal49

    Just as you have a right to ex-fat therapy, Maggie. Now sit down and shut up.

  • boring

    The fat shaming in the comment section of this article is disgusting and show’s the true colors of Queerty’s reader base, and by extension the gay community at large as being superficial, mean-spirited and ugly in their intentions. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

    When you really should be making fun of her haircut instead.

  • Will L

    @boring: Now, boring. One should never make fun of a person’s characteristics that can’t be changed. Like the fact that one of her eyes is higher than the other. That would be uncalled for. But Maggie is obviously big into self-improvement. Her obesity is changeable. You just have to WANT to change. Isn’t that right, Maggie??!

  • Nikkidane

    She seems like an utterly miserable person. Doesn’t she know the Bible also forbids gluttony. I suppose she feels her obesity problem is genetic whereas being gay is a choice. Interesting logic…lol.

  • queerty1958

    It is also my right to tell her to shut the hell up!

  • TomMc

    Every time I read about the National Organization for marriage (NOM) and/or One Million Moms (OMM) I can’t *not* think of Cookie Monster: OM NOM NOM NOM.

  • RRT

    So, she is the living punchline to the joke: ” why did god create homosexuals?” drum roll;
    ” so fat women could have someone to dance with, too.” yeah ,yeah, hate all you want. Like you don’t have your own bad jokes.

  • #1SouthAfrican

    Who in their right minds would listen to that… that thing? The only time it should be allowed to open its mouth, is when it’s feeding time!

  • James

    I believe in her right to eat healthy and exercise – doesn’t mean she’s going to put down the McDonalds.

    Isn’t gluttony mentioned as much if not more in the bible than homosexuality?

    The only exercise she gets is running her big mouth.

  • defsteve

    Godd.amn, y’all muthers are turrible. No wonder everyone thinks are sexist, vapid, body shaming dic.kbags. If y’all got nothing better to do than this s.hit then we really don’t deserve equality do we?

    Misogyny, racism, body shaming? Have y’all got anymore parlor tricks?

    Bourgie liberal queens fuxk all y’all vapid muthers.

  • hf2hvit

    @defsteve: Hey Deffy
    Do us all a favor and continue your quest to end up like Helen Keller. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

  • defsteve

    @hf2hvit: Helen Keller was a fantastic person. But go ‘head, show everyone that sexy smexy ableism queens are so known for propagating.

    Never mind that barring my hyperbole about gays not derserving equality you can’t refute a godd.amn thing I said

  • 1EqualityUSA

    I’m dusting this off and reposting it for Maggie (instead of the imp from San Diego who wants the marriages halted) last week. Maggie, this writing is for you…
    Last gasps of a dying NOMster. Agonal breathing. Maggie will anesthetize herself from the pain at Chic-fil-A and men in cute little bow ties and round, fruity glasses will get schwing-butt when they realize that their message of hate won’t wash any longer. Princeton professor and Father of NOM, Robert P. George, will move on and stay quiet, doing his bigotry behind the scenes with pals such as John Weeping Latent Boehner and Scalia. Maggie will carbo-load and write more hateful crap for those who have yet to evolve or accept that we were born this way. Brian Brown will worry about how he will feed his disgusting brood of children, the fruit of his ever-widening loins, the product of sanctified coitus, (organ sting and harps) while counting the bucks upon which he rolls in between fits of laughter and utter despair. Futility and defeat are cruel companions. Agonal breathing and translucent orbs, staring into the abyss, will distort NOMskull faces, twisted by the deathbed realization, that they spent their existence stirring up hatred against their gay brothers and sisters, perpetuating negative energy, and engendering disharmony. For what? Money, power, name recognition, the usual suspects. Any, imagined, Holy impetus left years ago, when rallies excited the senses and the smell of blood enticed them. Losers will rally for one last hurrah, before caving in on themselves, pointing fingers in a circle of exhausted vanity. What things did you buy with the money? Was it worth it? How many did you drag down to your pathetic level? Was it satisfactory? Deathbed thoughts have a way of clearing out the clutter, layers of clutter, intricately constructed around our principles and pain. Agonal breathing carries another minute to ponder the harm done. One’s life’s work is examined as flesh recedes and the spirit, once hidden in molecules and pretense, emerges. Regrets? Shame? Defiance? Words will not suffice, as only the feelings will bear any significance. Love will be gold, on a deathbed.

  • #1SouthAfrican

    There will always be that one sanctimonious ass who thinks himself the better gay, right DEFSTEVE? I’d much rather turn on the hate to get back at these pigs than read about another hate crime or a dead gay kid. These people are spewing their poison onto the minds of society and you want to have them for tea?

  • Eiswirth

    @boring: And her sensible shoes.

  • J W G

    Gay men can be their own worst enemy. I have said in the past that there is no such thing as a heterosexual homophobe and I am seeing a lot of homophobia in these comments. Think about it!

  • defsteve

    @#1SouthAfrican: If the shoe fits.

    I don’t want to have tea with these fuckers. I want to punch their throats til they stop killing gay teens. But I don’t want to color entire swaths of people as bad for silly reasons. She isn’t bad because she’s fat. No one is bad cuz they’re fat. She’s bad because she makes gay teens want to kill themselves, because she spews hate in an unending antigay diatribe. She’s bad for so many reason. And y’all fuckers settle on fat? And y’all aren’t even clever about it.

    There are fat people of all kinds. Lots of them are really nice. You devalue all of them when you go “Huhuhu Maggie is fat! durr… why should we listen to anything she says, she’s a fattie?” So I’ll keep my sanctimonium if it means I’m above calling out someone for being fat, like it’s my place to judge that.

  • Will L

    @defsteve: Not only are you young with a full head of hair, you are just cute as can be. :)

  • defsteve

    aww, thanks:)

  • Stan

    Have you ever noticed the most anti gay and anti-abortion people are mostly FAT and can get laid.

  • WordsofReason

    OK why can’t someone be allowed to disagree with the dogma of gayness in America in 2013? I do not agree with Maggie Gallagher’s opinions at all, but that doesn’t mean she and anyone else doesn’t have the right to think what she wants without being called ugly names!
    Now here’s my dissenting opinion: what’s this nonsense about people being “born that way” and thus not able to make any choices about their sexual orientation in life? Actually I think this is the most blatantly homophobic attitude possible. If one is supposed to have PRIDE in being gay, why wouldn’t someone want to choose to be gay? People choose lots of important aspects of their lives – many of which I don’t agree with at all, i.e. what up with Tom Cruise and all that Scientology crap? Was he “born that way”?
    Anyone who’s really PROUD of being gay should clearly state that it is in fact his or her choice!!!!

  • Will L

    @WordsofReason: I’m sure once the drugs wear off, you will read that statement and wonder what came over you.

  • 1EqualityUSA

    #39, WordsofReason, Even if what you say is true, that people could choose to be anything other than what they are, legally, we still should be afforded the equal rights we are currently fighting for, because it’s nobody’s damned business what family situation we enter into. People, indeed, choose religions or psuedo sucky scientology non-sense, sometimes later in life, and those forms of identity are protected, as should our identities be protected and given 100% equality with every other tax paying citizen of these United States. For the polygamy argument, polygamy is unlawful for both straight and gay, so therefore, no inequality exists. Marriage is a contractual arrangement that cannot be exclusively for straights. Will L, there have been many post by you that make me laugh. Your dry humor is fun.

  • rand503

    Here’s a story about a woman who works with the dying and the lessons she learned. Turns out that the biggest regret people have is ” I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

    Too many people who were gay went to their death never knowing happiness, never living openly as a gay person, and living as others or their religion wanted them. When you are on your death bed, you can try to call up Phyllis Shafley or Cardinal Dolan or Maggie or your mormon biship and tell them, hey guys! I did exactly what you wanted! I suppressed all my homosexuals feelings for you. Because you told me that that’s what you wanted. And now at the end of my life, I lived a life of unhappiness, but I hope you appreciate that I gave up all chance at happiness for you!

    And they will respond, who the hell are you and why are you bothering me?

  • 1EqualityUSA

    rand503, And the person who loved them, loved a superficial, fake person, due to the dishonesty. Imagine finding out that the person, loved for decades, was really someone else. It’s unfair to expect anyone to lie, in order to make others feel more comfortable in their presence. Does that kind of love have value?

  • queertypie

    Maggie Gallagher just released a statement: “Oink oink oink, oink oink! Oinky oinka oinky onink.”

  • crazycorgi

    All you have to do is look at Maggie Gallagher to know she was that fat, ugly, unpopular girl in high school who ever only got any kind of attention from the gay boys which she misinterpreted for romantic advances. It is obvious that Maggie has spent her life trying to get revenge on the gay community for the rejection and possible humiliation she felt as a teenager when confronted with the fact that some men would rather be with other men than shag her fat ass. She is nothing but that fag hag that stuck around hoping that one day he would succumb to her charms and see what he was missing all along in her only to wake up one day and realize it will never happen. Now she is a woman scorned and wants every gay man to pay.

  • dwndckd

    I agree with Maggie—I’m STR8 and that’s a “fucking” choice

  • WordsofReason

    @Will L: And why do you say that??? Are you putting forth any logical assertions? Or is it just ‘cuz all the kool kidz think so, that you’re agreeing with them?

  • WordsofReason

    @1EqualityUSA: Hi 1Equality, you at least seem to have the ability to begin to think, which puts you far above the intellectual capability of everyone else here. Now let’s go back to my original statement: where do you see anything that says I don’t support complete marriage equality and indeed all types of legal equality for LGBT people? Just because I believe gay people “choose” their sexual orientation doesn’t mean I am denigrating them in anyway. In fact I see it as the opposite: I see the beauty and value in homosexual relationships and as such I see why an individual would want to select that lifestyle for themselves. Moreover, from a political point-of-view as a Constitutional originalist, I don’t believe it’s the government’s business to comment on a person’s lifestyle choices one way or the other. See my point?

  • rdujetz

    Nice haircut, Maggie. Did you do it yourself with some safety scissors ?

  • DarkZephyr

    @defsteve: I agree with you about the fat shaming, Steve, but I don’t agree that we shouldn’t have equal rights because some gay people are jerks.

    @WordsofReason: you feel that gay must be a choice because of gay pride? Am I understanding you correctly? So does Black pride mean Black people choose to be black? I am confused here. Are you aware of why gay pride exists in the first place? If so, don’t you think you are being insensitive by saying that it equates to proof that being gay is a choice?

  • dwndckd

    @DarkZephyr,not to muddy the water—but in Sunday School—we had this thing called, STR8” Pride… It was meant to celebrate the fact that we [heterosexuals] made the right choice.

  • DarkZephyr

    @dwndckd: Sure, and I bet Betty Bowers was your Sunday school teacher.

  • Will L

    @WordsofReason: Touching back on your assertion that one’s sexuality is a choice, let’s clear some things up. If you are sexually attracted to both sexes, you are not gay or straight. The term we use is bisexual. This is not the same as “having a choice.” If you truly have a choice, you would no longer be attracted to the other. If you can actually do that, then I certainly encourage you to find yourself a nice girl and settle down. If you are bisexual, you have no more choice than anyone else. You cannot choose to be attracted to one or the other.

  • 1EqualityUSA

    Wordsof Reason, Quit saying it is a choice. Speak for yourself, because for me, it wasn’t a choice.

  • 1EqualityUSA

    #51…I smell a Mormon. I can smell ’em a mile away. infested, queerty is infested with them.

  • GlitterKidder

    Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Who cares what this fat cucking funt has to say? She is a big fat nothing. Let’s not give her anymore space to spout her cray cray… Let’s focus on positive, go forward, not backwards, or in her case, back woods.

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