GAYDAR GONE WRONG

Malaysian Education Ministry Identifies Gay “Warning Signs” In Children

Is your son wearing tight-fitting v-neck? Does your daughter like to have meals with other women?

If so, the Malaysian government has a warning: Your child May. Be. Homosexual.

According to reports, The Ministry Education of Malaysia has established guidelines for parents seeking to discover if their children are gay—in order to help set them straight. In addition to the signs mentioned above, hallmarks of same-sex attraction include having a muscular body or carrying big handbags (for boys) and either having an attraction to or distancing themselves from women (for girls).

Frank discussion of homosexuality is usually avoided in Malaysian culture, but Deputy Education Minister Mohd Puad Zarkashi says it must be brought up in order to be rooted out: “Such exposure is important and it is high time the LGBT issue is discussed openly and not think of it as a taboo,” explained Deputy Education Minister Mohd Puad Zarkashi. “Once the children have these symptoms, immediate attention should be given.”

The guidelines were handed out to more than 1,000 attendees at “Parents in Curbing LGBT Issue,” a seminar coordinated by an educational nonprofit with government ties. But the program has its critics: Activist Pang Khee Teik is shocked by the “inhuman campaign” targeting children. “[The ministry] should teach all children to be confident and to respect each other no matter who they are.”

We’re thinking that might be more important than the size of Junior’s backpack.