Seriously?

Matchmaker warns women their boyfriends are “completely gay” if they exhibit any of these 15 behaviors

This might be the dumbest thing we’ve read all week. Considering it’s only Tuesday, that’s not saying a whole lot, but still…

Good Ereseh is a professional matchmaker from Nigeria. He recently shared a list with his nearly 15,000 Instagram followers detailing all the qualities that might suggest a woman’s boyfriend is “completely gay.”

The list includes:

  1. He constantly stares at guys than women.
  2. He could be gay if he criticizes gay people too much.
  3. He could be gay if he appears to be too damn faithful.
  4. He could be swinging if you have no issues with him concerning other women.
  5. For some reason #5 is missing from list. Don’t ask us. ¯\_(?)_/¯
  6. He keeps more male friends on social media than women.
  7. That brother could be holding blowing pipes, when he tries to avoid sex with you.
  8. He could be seeing guys when he doesn’t disturb you to have sex with him and on the other hand you thanking God that you have met a man that isn’t after sex.
  9. When he suggests you both invite a guy to bed so the both of them can satisfy you, sister run because he’s bringing his friend in to caption your brain thinking he is so understanding.
  10. When he cares too much about how he looks like female friends you have. There is something about it when he starts to care about his physical appearance.
  11. He wants to feel how you feel during penetration, he wants you to insert your finger down there.
  12. I repeat this, if he doesn’t check other women out he is completely gay. Don’t argue, he is not being faithful to you he just doesn’t find the need to feel attracted to women. Instead he talks about men more.
  13. If he praises a particular male friend of his than you the one that claims to hold his heart, trust me that guy could be his gay partner.
  14. He is classically touchy with other men, he enjoys hugs, holding hands and even loves the male bathroom hehehehehehe.
  15. He enjoys other’s sexuality, it’s an interesting topic for him, trust me nicca is gay.

OK, we get it. Ereseh is from Nigeria, a country where LGBTQ people have virtually no rights and homosexuality is still punishable by death… But seriously?

Based on reasons #2 (“He could be gay if he criticizes gay people too much”) and #15 (“He enjoys other’s sexuality, it’s an interesting topic for him”), it could easily be argued Ereseh himself is gay.

According to his official bio, Ereseh is “a young entrepreneur and a former fashion designer who has good taste in art, nature, and beauty.” He also claims to be “Africa’s first certified matchmaker,” whatever the hell that means.

Related: Nutjob Gay Matchmaker: Bottoming Will Make You A Total Loser