Oh Marc Jacobs… yes you have dumb tattoos of Spongebob Squarepants, an Ikea couch, and the little girl from Poltergeist on your body, but you also have your hunky Brazilian hubby Lorenzo Martone. Or at least you did until Mortone started kissing some woman’s boyfriend at an amfAR after-party. This is just a rumor of course; but we couldn’t help but notice that you failed to mention your hubs during your acceptance speech for the Womenswear Designer of the Year award at the Council of Fashion Designers of America gala this Monday. So tell us Marc, what’s wrong?

Just last Christmas, while you were eating cold turkey and stale dinner rolls, Jacobs and Martone enjoyed a second honeymoon on the beaches of St. Barts. But then in April the honeymoon ended with rumors of Jacobs and Martone splitting up and folks spotting Jacobs at his business partner’s wedding sans mancandy. We also heard Maytime whispers from another New York scandalite that Martone has a pechant for drunken making out. So if these reports are true, and of course they are, Martone is either a cheating manwhore, they really are splitting up, or they’re — gasp! — in an open marriage. Might that explain why they sometimes aren’t together, and sometimes kiss other people?

Open relationships don’t eliminate jealousy — they simply save it for special occasions. And remember, this is the same couple that denied being married even when there were pictures of the event. So while it may be a while before we get photographic confirmation of their break up, I’m confident you can take the rumors at their word. And in the mean time, I’m even more sure that you can make out with Martone, if you’re with your girlfriend and he’s drunk enough.

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