HOLY WHINE

Mother Of Archbishop Cordileone Blames Herself, And Maybe The Gays, For His DUI Arrest

Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone’s mother, Mary, blames herself for not stopping her son from imbibing too much wine at a party that got out-of-hand, leading to the holy man’s arrest this weekend.

Talking to San Diego’s KMFB, a CBS affiliate, Mother Mary said:

“We were invited to some friend’s house and he loved his wine and they kept filling his glass and filling his glass. And I didn’t want to seem like a bossy mother. [Ed. note: Awww!] I should’ve told him, ‘You’re drinking too much wine.’”

Cordileone was in town for a priest friend of his visiting from Germany and the bishop wanted to show him a good time. And we all know how crazy those parties with a couple clergymen and a nervous octogenarian can get. One minute there’s wine and Parcheezy, everyone’s having a good time then — next thing you know — out comes the eight ball, off come the vestments and someone’s getting led away in a squad car.

Tale as old as time.

Cordileone did manage to eek out a formal apology for bathing a little too long in the blood of Christ, however:

“While visiting in San Diego this past weekend, I had dinner at the home of some friends along with a priest friend visiting from outside the country and my mother, who lives near San  Diego State University. While driving my mother home, I passed through a DUI checkpoint the police had set up near the SDSU campus before I reached her home, and was found to be over the California legal blood alcohol level.

“I apologize for my error in judgment and feel shame for the disgrace I have brought upon the Church and myself. I will repay my debt to society and I ask forgiveness from my family and my friends and co-workers at the Diocese of Oakland and the Archdiocese of San Francisco.  I pray that God, in His inscrutable wisdom, will bring some good out of this.”

Mary Cordileone wishes only the best for her son and is SO PROUD of him becoming an archbishop — handpicked by the Pope himself, she reminds her weekly bridge club every time she gets a chance. Mary just hopes her son’s up for the challenge in San Francisco where “the gays” are of a heartier, more “active” stock:

“Its gonna be a tough job because, you know he’s always preached against same-sex marriages and then the gays are very active there.” [Ed. note: Aww…]

While she may very well be a bigot, how adorable a bigot is she? We just wanna pinch those sunken cheeks — you know, if she wouldn’t hobble away in horror at the very sight of us.

You can check out the genius of Mary Cordileone in the interview below:

San Diego, California News Station – KFMB Channel 8 – cbs8.com