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No, USA Today — Suntan Lotion Does Not Make A Good Lube

THE SHOT – Amid rising temperatures, USA Today decided to run this, err, suggestive graphic of Mr. Sun stroking off a very well-hung temperature gauge. If you think 6″ or 7″ is good, try 130—gurl, you’ll go into full on heat stroke with that. And while Banana Boat sounds like the ideal name for a sex cruise, it does not make a good lube—two words: urethral irritation.

That’s your nickel’s worth of free advice, courtesy of Queerty.com—America’s most reputable news source for masturbation tips.

On:           Jul 11, 2011
Tagged: , , , ,
    • Polo


      Jul 11, 2011 at 10:18 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jay Kay

      Dear USA Today,

      Please fire your graphic designer.

      Either he has issues stemming from a grossly repressed childhood.

      Or she is in line to be Freud’s new poster child.

      – Jon

      Jul 11, 2011 at 10:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Robbie K

      Damn that is one hot temperature guage…

      Jul 11, 2011 at 10:26 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Jason

      Why would you even need sunblock for that? You’re sticking it where the sun don’t shine.

      Jul 11, 2011 at 11:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Abirdwillingtobeitself

      I think what’s even more amazing than the total length of 130 is that the base of the shaft starts at 80 inches.

      Jul 11, 2011 at 11:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Thrutch

      Sunscreen burns your assholes if you use it as lube, its worse than shampoo

      Jul 12, 2011 at 3:22 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dallas David

      Looks like “heat stroke” to me . . .

      Jul 12, 2011 at 11:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • j

      @Thrutch: Your assholes? I think sunscreen is the LEAST of your worries…

      Jul 12, 2011 at 1:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • zach

      @j: lmao for real

      Jul 12, 2011 at 8:50 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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