Vlogger Bradley Birkholz recently came out as a “side” (a.k.a. a gay guy who is neither a top nor a bottom) in an essay published by Gay Star News. As a result, he says, he’s received a barrage of negative criticism.

“When I admitted to the world that I didn’t much care for anal sex–I didn’t expect quite such a hateful backlash,” he says.

Related: This vlogger invites you to “banish the b-hole binary” by giving up top and bottom labels

He continues: “I was surprised by how controversial my sex life was to readers and the viewers on my YouTube channel. In some comments, I was even called a ‘straight 10-year-old’ and a ‘heterosexist’ homophobe.”

But those accusations, Bradley says, couldn’t be further from the truth.

“If you follow the accusations put to me – does not liking anal make me straight? Or homophobic?” he wonders.

Rather than getting defensive, he’s decided to turn the whole situation into a teachable moment.

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“There isn’t a right or wrong way to be a gay man,” Bradley reminds everyone. “Nobody should ever feel pressured into doing something they don’t enjoy, and especially not in the bedroom.”

He adds, “There’s no reason to place expectations and pressure on something that’s beautifully diverse and entirely intimate and experience dependent.”

Watch Bradley address the controversy head on below.


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