– There’s been a lot of talk about gays and bestiality, so here’s the best of both worlds. This dude wants to be a mermaid (merman?) and his boyfriend’s fine with it.. Then again, so are we. See you guys in eternal damnation…still.
– Jimmy Fallon has clinched his deal to take over for Jay Leno on The Tonight Show, meaning Seth Meyers might be his replacement and Conan O’Brien might burn NBC Studios to the ground.
– The mother of the Muppets, Jane Henson, has passed away after battling cancer at age 78.
– Lindsay Lohan has left Brazil, to the relief of all South America.
– Beyoncé and her robot hand are coming back tomorrow. We don’t know what’s about to happen, but she’s got that squint in her eye that means something is about to be shut down. Permanently.
– Tom Hanks and what appears to be Meg Ryan: reunited!
– Buckwild star Shain Gandee died of carbon monoxide poisoning while muddin’ over the weekend, leading MTV to suspend filming of the show’s second season.
– The Zesty Guy loses his shirt due to all the flames. All the flaming. There’s a fire too.