It’s time we hunker down and have a tough talk about you and your nudes. What kind of nudie hoarder are you? The type who sends out a compromising photo on some social app, and then quickly locks your virtual nudie vault, wondering if it’s already fallen into the quivering hands of your boss, your sweet auntie, your most loathed nemesis, and that scowling bullethead bartender who rolls his eyes every time you order a drink?
Or are you the type who’s come to terms with the fact that we’re all softcore porn stars (at least) in today’s age of apps; the kind of footloose, fancy-free fellow who’s fully accepted that the entire gay community has already collected all your nudes, compared them, critiqued them, and filed them away into their complicated color-coded system of archival nudes?
Popular Youtube personality Jack Merridew — aka, the admirably manic, undeniably inspired, and altogether a-bit-much “Slutty Halloween Costume” guy — is coming clean about a recent cachet of nude photographs that got hijacked from his iCloud, venting his, erm, most secret feelings about the aftermath of said leak.
Now, let us sit back and listen to him reveal every gory detail of this certifiable kerfuffle and count the seconds until our own private photos infiltrate the public domain, if they haven’t already.
Which, let’s face it, they have.