PORN PASTS

Sexiest Math Teacher In The World Fired For Appearing In Mo’ Bubble Butt and Humping Iron

If you’re a connoisseur of gay internet pornography (ie. a chronic masturbator), perhaps you’ve seen the high quality cinematic achievements of substitute math teacher Shawn Loftis (aka Collin O’Neal). The stud once owned Collin O’Neal’s World of Men and appeared in such award-winning films as Desperate Husbands and Mo’ Bubble Butt, but he had since gone on to teach math to K through 8th graders in Florida. That is, he did until the school district found out about his porny past.

Mr. Loftis taught at Nautilus Middle, Edison Middle, and Fienberg-Fisher K-8 schools until another employee told Nautilus principal Allyn Bernstein about his roles as a vers muscle stud in Humping Iron. That’s when the school district suspended him over a rule requiring school faculty to “conduct themselves, both in their employment and in the community, in a manner that will reflect credit upon themselves and the school system” and the Florida Department of Education revoked his teaching certification.

Mr. Loftis studied international relations with a Middle East focus at Florida International University and earned a master’s in public administration at the University of Miami. But even the American Civil Liberties Union refused to defend him saying, “Your case would be stronger if your job did not involve supervising children.”

So Mr. Loftis turned back into Collin O’Neal and flew off to Cuba where he recntly filmed a sex scene with twin brothers “that actually like touching and having sex with each other.” While students who would have hung on Mr. Loftis’ every. single. word. will miss out on his math instruction, we’ll happily watch as he continues to divide whole numbers with his prime factor.

Carry that one, stud.