PEACE TALKS

Shaggy Has A Novel Approach To Stopping ISIS From Killing Gays (Yes, It Involves Shaggy CDs)

20140725_tgf_shaggy01Hey United Nations, are you listening? Because Shaggy — yeah, ’90s Boombastic Shaggy — has some pretttty big ideas when it comes to stopping ISIS from killing gays and, well, generally doing other terrible things.

But please, Mr. Ban Ki-moon, President Obama, other dignified world leaders — you’ve got to keep an open mind.

It’s a two-point plan, really.

Step one: get Jamaican weed to the self-proclaimed Islamic State.

Hear him out: “They need to bag some Jamaican weed and distribute it amongst ISIS. I guarantee there won’t be any more wars out there. High people don’t want to kill nothing; they want to love,” Shaggy recently told the New Miami Times.

Seems pretty rock-solid to us. Now we know what you’re thinking — they’re going to want something to do with all that free time now that they’ve chosen to indulge in all that Jamaican herb.

Well that’s the genius of step two: send over a few Shaggy CDs. We’d obviously recommend starting with Pure Pleasure (1993), enjoying a main course of Boombastic (1995), and finishing up with 2000’s Hot Shot for dessert.

“If you’re able to cut a man’s head off, you’re sick. But right, music evokes emotion. So if they’re listening to Shaggy music or reggae music, they’re not going to want to cut somebody’s head off.”

Again, hats off.

We’ll leave you with this trip down memory lane, which true to his word, does not make us want to cut anybody’s head off: