Dim the lights and cue that depressing exit track, for another high-profile gaylebrity breakup sashayed to center stage and took its final bow this week.
RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 4 winner Sharon Needles and Season 5 finalist Alaska announced the end of their four-year relationship via press release yesterday, insisting their split was “a mutual decision” and is happening “on good terms.” They sound like they’ll remain friends and simply change the ‘boy’ in boyfriend to ‘best,’ which is great. You haven’t seen an ugly breakup until you take away half a drag queen’s wardrobe.
Only time will tell what becomes of the first Drag Race relationship-turned-friendship, but hopefully these ladies can keep it classier than some of the ‘mos before them.
As a refresher course, let’s look back on some of the most high-profile (and disastrous) gay celebrity splits:
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Rosie O’Donnell & Kelli Carpenter
Power lesbian Rosie O’Donnell says she and ex-wife Kelli Carpenter were living in separate homes for more than two years before their official split in October 2009—they tried to make things work for the sake of their four kids, of course. What she called her “new beginning” began with an honest tell-all in O Magazine, in which she cited her rage, lack of estrogen (uh?) and age difference as the reason for the relationship’s demise.
This year, O’Donnell has her hands busy with new wife Michelle Rounds and a new baby.
Marc Jacobs & Harry Louis
Like the true wife of a fashion mogul, former porn star Harry Louis announced his breakup with designer Marc Jacobs this year on Instagram. It’s nearly impossible to know the exact number of times this on again, off again couple has called it quits, but it sure sounds real this time! No more nearly naked photoshoots at the beach, and certainly no more free chocolates for Marc.
Nick Gruber & Calvin Klein
What could possibly go wrong when a 71-year-old leather bag plucks a young twink from obscurity, alters his face with thousands of dollars in plastic surgery, feeds his coke habit and expects nothing in return but “epic” sex? Well, everything, for starters.
Though nobody really knows when the Nick Gruber/Calvin Klein split officially happened, it’s safe to say their relationship is officially over. Klein lost his former lover to heterosexuality this year, and if there’s one thing we’re to take away from this torrid love affair, it’s that Nick Gruber is terrible in bed.
David Tutera & Ryan Jurica
And what comes right after “50 year age difference” in the guide to ruining your relationship? Sex addiction, of course. It was David Tutera’s animalistic urges that allegedly drove him away from a 10-year relationship with former partner Ryan Jurica. The couple announced their split earlier this year and became role models for horrible parents everywhere by literally dividing custody of their twin children by each is taking one. Oy.
Cheyenne Jackson & Monte Lapka
Broadway babe Cheyenne Jackson split from his husband of nearly two years in July and moved cross-country to settle in with a brand new boyfriend (along with some new tattoos, a mustache, and a recording device). If he ever considers a career pivot, I’d recommend this man as a top-notch publicist. The way he managed to spin a nasty divorce, sex tape, and young lover into a boost for album sales is truly brilliant.
Jane Lynch & Lara Embry
The award-winning Glee star learned about prenups the hard way this year after filing for divorce from Dr. Lara Embry, her wife of three years. “It’s better to go apart than stay together,” she told Larry King in an interview. I imagine Dr. Embry feels exactly the same way, as she is now receiving almost $100K/month in spousal support.
Zachary Quinto & Jonathan Groff
Another Glee relationship came to an end this year when Jonathan Groff and Zachary Quinto announced their split after nearly a year of being the most adorable gay power couple on the WeHo circuit. Things remained mum in the wake of their brief affair, but sources claim things were “far from amicable between them.” No love lost here — there are thousands of gay men willing to take these sloppy seconds.
David Geffen & Jeremy Lingvall
“Whoops” is what I imagine 27-year-old Jeremy Lingvall muttered when his 69-year-old billionaire boyfriend of six years, media mogul David Geffen, broke up with him in 2012. I suppose screaming “shit!” at the top of his lungs also happened at some point. The Daily News dropped the bomb on this high-profile, well-funded breakup and even suggested Lingvall search Grindr for a new billionaire boyfriend. The jokes. Since the split, he’s found work as a DJ and was even featured on the Scissor Sisters’ “Shady Love.”
Ellen Degeneres & Anne Heche
In what became one of the first gay divorce stories to see mass media coverage, Ellen Degeneres ended her three-year relationship with actress Anne Heche in 2000. The reason? The media!
Ellen once said she’d thought the two would “grow old together,” but the media circus surrounding her life after publicly coming out was too much to handle. “Everyone was watching us like we were the only lesbians on the planet. That alone made being together difficult.”
AuntieChrist
My not yet legal husband and I are 7 months away from our 25th year but there is no disparity in age or financial standing…Having an equal footing and no outrageous expectations really helps…Monogamy may not work for everyone, but it has not hurt us one bit…Having children is cool but personally I like my dog better. Maybe in my next life if we get one…Celebrity relationships seem to create more conflict than cooperation.
DShucking
So sad about Sharon and Alaska. Who gets to keep the meth?
DShucking
@AuntieChrist: That’s nice to hear. Similar to my story. He’s one year older and our birthdays are on the same day. Married once on valentine’s day, once on Halloween and our reception was on our birthday so we never have to worry about forgetting anniversaries. We’ve each made more than the other at different times and it’s never been a problem. It doesn’t matter whose account the bills come out of as long as they get paid. And it would be unheard of to have an affair though we’ve agreed that if we ever get the change to have sex with Brad Pitt all is forgiven.
AuntieChrist
@DShucking: That’s cute…It’s Scott Backula for me, Matt Bomer for him and we both agree on David Giuntoli from Grimm. As for Sharon and Alaska I’m sure they get their meth for free.
Homophile
@DShucking:
Oh? Have you done meth with them? Otherwise how could you know?
AuntieChrist
@Homophile: Oh yea baby, hard core drug use. Sharon Needles and I have been sharing needles for years slamming and jamming gacked and geeked torn and tweeked.
Tackle
In the case of Sharon Needles & Alaska, when you announce the end of your relationship via press release, I guess you have arrived. In the case of Ellen & Anne, what’s the point of mentioning a relationship that ended 13yrs ago? Seems kinda desperate on Queety’s part. And BTW, I believe it was Anne who left Ellen And left her heart broken because she (Anne) decided that she wasen’t a lesbian after all. And I had to LOL about what was written about Nick and Calvin.
oilburner
@DShucking: I was thinking the same damn thing. Although Sharon does look like a god damn tweaker Alaska looks more like an oxytocin smoking kinda Queen to me
oilburner
@AuntieChrist: I too have wondered how these two could afford to maintain such a lavish drug filled lifestyle
Cam
I guess the kingdom wasn’t big enough for two queens. Best wishes to both.
Meowzer
My husband and I married in 2011 after 25 years together. He is 14 years older than I am and it has never been a problem for us… it’s been a problem for other people. In our case as well, both of us have more money than the other at some point, but it all goes into the household pool to pay the mortgage, bills, etc. We have friends that are couples that split everything down the middle, each paying half of all expenses. They even split the bills when going out for dinner. I feel thats more like roommates than partners.
Someone recently asked how we managed to stay together for so long when other gay relationships seem to fizzle quickly. I believe the answer was we had an open relationship from the very beginning. We were both aloud to “fool around” with other people as long as we were honest about it to each other. We’d go to adult bookstores together and find guys for three ways. HOWEVER, some things were off limits. Those particular experienes were only between us, never to be done with somebody outside our relationship. We never discussed this with our friends because most wouldn’t understand, but I beleive it’s what made us strong. There was no fear of one cheating on the other because we both knew the rules and followed them.
I love him with all my heart and thank him for 27 years of love. Rocky at some times, but love none the less.
krystalkleer
@DShucking: HA…now that’s a riot! good one kitten :)http://getoffmydress.blogspot.com/2013/12/ho-ho-hold-up-minute.html
nikkii_a
my partner and i will celebrate our 28th anniversary next may. we’re in oklahoma and even though its very unlikely that we’ll live long enough to see same sex marriages legalized in oklahoma, there are several gay/lesbian couples who have gotten married. of course, at this time these marriages aren’t recognized by the state and its probably very unlike they ever will be, but the couples are married
whether the state recognizes them or not.
i think if a state thats literally ruled by religion such as utah
can legalize gay marriage, then why can’t the rest of this country?