So you’re about to take the plunge and go from two beds to one, eh? Well congratulations, you two are sickeningly cute and in love. That said, you’d better be sure moving in with your partner is the right choice, and that’s not always the easiest thing to determine.
Scroll down for six pitfalls to beware when weighing your options
1. “It makes economic sense.”
When generating the pros and cons of moving in together, putting economics on the “pros” list is the biggest mistake you can make. Sharing a room, a bed, a life with someone is not like watching Death Becomes Her on Netflix for the two hundredth time instead of seeing Interstellar in IMAX. There are lots of wonderful reasons to move in together, but money isn’t one of them. And cheap rent is way too tempting — so much so that it’ll blind you of any potential deal breakers. Suddenly slicing your rent in half sounds dreamy, but you’re giving up more than square footage. You’d better be rock solid on what you’re getting back in return.
2. Assuming your roommates are cool with it
Unless you or your honey boo boo live alone, there are more people than just the two of you to keep in mind. You may think your roommates are totally cool with your guy officially becoming a part of the family, but don’t assume that just because the four of you stayed up late drinking whiskey and playing Cards Against Humanity that they automatically welcome this big change. If they aren’t into it, don’t hold it against them. You and your partner’s needs aren’t the only ones that have to be met.
3. Losing yourself in the equation, or engulfing your partner
Chances are, your vision of the perfect living space is going to clash with your partner’s. There will be a natural tendency for one of your aesthetics to start to edge out over the other’s. This can gradually lead to one of you feeling like you’ve disappeared. If your boyfriend is moving into your place, or vice versa, one idea is to take everything down from the walls and start from scratch. Incorporate both of you into the physical space and you’ll feel like you’re both equal partners in this new endeavor.
4. Not making time for each other
You might expect that by living together, you don’t need to consciously make time for your partner. You’ll be seeing him every day, after all. But that’s exactly why you do still need to set aside time with the person you love. Just “being around” each other isn’t necessarily being close. There’s the internet, cell phones and junk TV all constantly within an arm’s reach. Proximity does not equal intimacy. Go on dates; leave your phones at home.
5. Not making time for yourself
Just as important as keeping that spark going with your other half is realizing how silly the term “other half” is. Though you may have been in a steady and stable place with your partner for years, it’ll be as important as ever to find “me time” once the two of you are shacked up. The best description we’ve heard of a successful relationship is when two people are spinning independently in harmony. Get one-on-one time with friends, even if they’re mutual friends of both of you. Stay engaged in what makes you happy and you’ll bring a grounded, satisfied you back to your relationship.
6. Thinking it’ll be a breeze
You’re taking a huge step with your lover — perhaps your best friend, too — and there’s a lot to be excited about. But if you think the road ahead won’t be bumpy because the two of you are just so “in sync,” you’re in for a rude awakening. You know those moments when you get so frustrated in your relationship you have to get some space until you cool off? Yeah, those will still come but then you’ll also have to watch your partner not clean the sink after he spits his toothpaste all over it. Living with someone isn’t easy, and sometimes it isn’t fun.
And yet somehow it can also be the best thing in the world.
You’ve been warned! Now please continue being disgustingly cute.