“Ridley Scott seemed to think that I might play this instructor in his film Gladiator so I went to see him for a screen test. I had to imagine that I was inspecting some slaves and how likely they were to be good gladiators. So he said, ‘Just march up and down proudly, maybe grab one of them between the legs and give it a twist to see how manly he is.’ I’m thinking, I’m Stephen Fry, a helpless old queen, let me pretend to be some wildly butch gladiator trainer? Being asked to stalk up and down twisting potential gladiators was one of the weirdest things I’d ever heard a human being utter.”—Writer & actor Stephen Fry, recalling his very odd audition for the Oscar-winning film Gladiator. The role in question eventually went to Oliver Reed. In the same interview, Fry also recalls how he survived 15 years of celibacy, and that time Gore Vidal got in a fight with a rentboy.