The A-List: New York Recap: “You’re A Dark Soul”
We’re at episode 5 of 11. This means it’s time for everyone’s midterm grades…
Ryan: In this episode he helps Edwing populate a fashion show with models—Austin, Derek and Nyasha—who all hate each other. During the course of the hour he has a fascinating heart-to-heart with Austin. It’s fascinating because you get to see, side by side, how expressive Austin’s face is versus the contrasting glassy-smoothness that is Ryan. In Ryan’s hand is a mug with Ryan’s face on it, an object you hope Logo is mass-producing to sate demand for breakfast ware emblazoned with the images of Great Gay Leaders In History. At the end of the episode, when all the models are finally verbally assaulting one another and Ryan runs interference, his face finally turns up its corners into an approximation of Christmas Day joy. Grade: A-
Edwing: We finally learn what he does. He’s not merely a stylist—that shop he works at is his own. All those Hansel-And-Gretel-Turn-Sex-Worker garments you see modeled in the fashion show are designed by him. This means he’ll never be a fully-fledged cast member because he’s too busy chasing his own extravagant vision. Insane people need stuff to wear to NA meetings, too. Also, he is still named Edwing and that’s hilarious. Grade: B+
T.J.: Tries on a sparkly woman’s dress and wig in Edwing’s shop. Because they were just lying around. Screams, “YOU DO. NOT. HIT. A WOMAN” in his best Nyasha conniption impersonation. The only problem is that there’s not enough of him in the episode. Also, he has shaved and that’s strange to look at. Grade: B-
Rodiney: Has taken someone’s bad advice and decided to consult an English language coach to help him pronounce words like “uncomfortable” properly. DON’T DO IT, RODINEY. Your Samson strength comes from being this show’s Charo. Somebody on the Logo production staff needs to take him aside and help him understand how to play to his talents. Later in the show he poses in leather straps and other sex gear in the Los Angeles desert for nearly-non-existent cast member Mike Ruiz. Rodiney is pleased to do it “half nake” in order to, “show how strong Rodiney are.” Grade: B-
Austin: Talks to everyone at least once in a variety of empty restaurants and, during each exchange, becomes a cautionary tale of pronoun usage. For example, at one point he says, “[The possibility of exposing my half-boned wang in Playgirl magazine is] causing a big rift between Jake and I.” Do me need to explain you that him using all wrong object of sentence? If Rodiney weren’t pursuing a restraining order against Austin, the self-improvement-minded Brazilian might be able to help Austin out with all those pesky grammar rules. Late in the episode, while fighting ineffectually with Derek and Nyasha at the fashion show, Nyasha pulls out the big bitch guns and aims right at Austin’s Playgirl zone. Austin cries. And cries. Dude, there is no crying in interpersonal zero-sum games. Man up. Grade: D-
Playgirl: Smarmy and weird and cheap. They offer Austin practically nothing to pose naked. You want a reality show cast member’s half-hard thingy in the your magazine? Then pay for it. Don’t be jerks. Grade: F
Reichen: Displays a modicum of, oh I don’t know… something, when Austin protests that his inability to use the right words in conversation is due to his not being, “Mr. McNally who writes a dictionary.” Reichen’s retort: “McNally is maps.” Grade: B
Derek: Extremely quiet for most of the episode, which is nice. Normally when he talks it’s like a choir of cruelty-charred tanning angels screeching a taunting hell-chorus to all the starving children of the world. Derek, Jesus would like you to forgive Austin for whatever it is he did to you that one time that you probably don’t even remember now. I know I don’t. But Grade: A, for all that enjoyable silence.
Mike Ruiz: Goes to a charity event. Does his job. Takes his sweet old dad around everywhere he goes. Loves his boyfriend. Never bothers anyone. Is still too boring to be employed here but appears to be made of so much goodness that he probably shits warm batches of sugar cookies. Grade: D+
Mike Ruiz’s Dad and Boyfriend: Equally long-suffering. Grade: A
Nyasha: Finally earns her A-List wings by fighting with Reichen over absolutely nothing and then unleashing a barrage of insults at Austin that turn him into a blubbering mess. She’s condescending, imperious, cruel and obsessed with being respected while offering none in return. “SHE’S NOT A NICE PERSON!” sobs Austin after telling her, “You’re a dark soul.” It’s a statement that only gives her more ammo to blast back in his face. That’s right, dude, she’s not a nice person. Duh, that’s why they hired her. Woman’s just doing her job. Grade: A+
Why I watched this last night? Because I had to see RuPaul freak out a few minutes before (Tyra Banks Moment)this started and wasn’t able to turn away from this carwreck….
As for a Recap of the Cast in general:
Austin: He is actually the ONLY real person in this Car Wreck. We see him warts and all. He’s actually too unfiltered and fun to watch in his naivete. He’s also NOT fat. Just because you don’t have defined abs doesn’t make you fat. He’s adorable looking. And outside of Mike Ruiz (who actually has a career as a noted photographer well before this show), is the closest person to A-List status this cast has. He was a REAL model working runway/ad model in his life (google it). He dated MARC JACOBS….granted Reichen had Lance Bass, but MARC JACOBS IS AN ACTUAL A-LIST PERSON. Leave Austin alone, I want to hug him…well…yeah..hug him.
Jake: And darling, what did you get caught into?
Derek: Mature? He to is botoxed to death…Is this Mean Girls? And what did Austin do to you? Really? You have no people skills. No ability to judge anyone if you are “seeing” someone for a while, building him up to your “friends”, to realize in what seems like meeting him for the first time the guy is a skuzz. He is a skuzz. But it gets better. In the first ep of this season, you and Rodiney are arguing about your mother and now you want to be friends with someone who thinks your mother stinks? Really? And what did Austin do for this Nuclear Option? You’re a douche.
Reichen: GET OFF THIS SHOW! And stop crying. Please. Stop. The. Crying. For Real. Stop. It.
Nausea: A STEREO-TYPE AT ITS BEST! The Mascot of A-List New York (taking the throne from Ryan)
Ryan: Fake, 2-Faced C*nt.
TJ: Someone lost their pet chihuahua?
Rodiney: Comic Relief.
Mike Ruiz: GET OFF THIS SHOW? How is this helping you?
The only reason to watch is Austin. Perhaps he can do A-List: London or something and get off this wannabe haven.
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@DM73:
I know! Fat?! The guy has a better body than most and yet I’m supposed to vilify him because he doesn’t look like a sad heroin addict like many runway models??
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The fat one looks like George W. Bush. A little retarded looking.
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@Cam
Agree totally. And Logo’s efforts to make him the “villain” of the show is beyond amazing. Without Austin, there would be no spin-off show (was there a clamoring for more of this drivel?). Austin is no saint, but he seems to be a normal 25 year old and is actually more mature than the viper’s nest he’s entangled in.
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How can nausea get an A+ when she clearly said “tranny” and logo bleeped it? Is queerty going cis-normative?
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@Cam: Please ADD to your list for Ryan to stop carrying everything his carries as if he is carrying an over-sized purse. Men don’t carry shopping bags in that manner.
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I’m ashamed that I watch this show. That being said….it’s delicious. And I’m not saying that just because I’ve had two magaritas. And no, it’s not even 4:00pm! Don’t judge me dammit! Anywho. Who else thinks it’s funny that hot Rodiney is pretending to like vagina to stay relevant? And mega applause to Mike’s dad who has to be the best father, ever! Why is Nausea on the show? They needed estrogen that badly? Finally, I can’t tell Derek and TJ apart.
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@Angela: said…. “Who else thinks it’s funny that hot Rodiney is pretending to like vagina to stay relevant? And mega applause to Mike’s dad who has to be the best father, ever! Why is Nausea on the show? They needed estrogen that badly? Finally, I can’t tell Derek and TJ apart.”
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Angela………..I have nothing to add. You pretty much nailed it. LOL!!
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and No. 7 · timncguy, Ugh, I forgot about his purse walk!
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I have a few problems!
1.) Why do people keep saying Austin is “real”. This is clearly an unreal show and these fame h* wannabees have no real talents or skills to make money outside of doing “reality” TV.(With the exception of Mike and possibly Ryan.) If Austin were “real” he would spend his time trying to find a job and working on his relationship with his husband, not sitting in empty restaurants stressing about why these other nobodies don’t like him.
2.)This show’s only purpose appears to be highlighting fake drama (which is what America loves)and not highlighting the lives of actually successful gay Americans. So why hate on Nyasha? She just adds more drama which is what everybody seems to want.
O well…..
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Rodiney is so ugly. I wonder if he realizes everyone is laughing AT him. Austin is actually the best looking one on the show. Derek is losing his hair. And Ryan is Fat. Oh…and Rodiney seriously is UGLY!
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@miguel: Hi Austin! Actually, you’re the ugliest one on the show. That gut ain’t helping you either. Rodiney is not only the hottest one physically, but he’s sweet and the only one with a soul. Good luck on your future porn career as a fisting bottom.
-Love
James
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The one burning question I have is whether or not both
Rod’I’ney and Edwin’G’ have the same mother who couldn’t spell to save her life????
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@miguel: Oh noes you dident! Rodiney is the only real person on the show and he is an import!
The others (Mike, lover, father – excluded), would pose for the cameras at the jewelry counter at Walmart. They make fame whores look dignified. Watching them makes me feel so real and grounded.
And yes, Austin is flabby. Just because you are a chubby-chaser doesn’t mean that triple chin is “in”. This is American TV – back-fat is verbotten. You know what they did to Anna Nicole Smith. Trimspa is looking for another butter-ball to deglaze.
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@miguel: Rodiney is not ugly-and there are probably some issues that are going on with you that we are not aware of because we can’t see you. As much as I do not like Austin’s “character” (and like someone else said earlier I do not understand why people on here keep saying he is the only real one on the show. If acting real is being an obnoxious, self obsessed, attention whore then Sarah Palin must be the only real person in the entire universe), I must say that I think he has a very cute face and a very nice body.
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Beauty is subjective – no one on the show is attractive or unattractive (excluding personality) as viewers have different tastes. Rodiney is a Brasilien spelling of Rodney, not a misspelling. Remember timncguy, there are languages other than English in the world. I know people like to see tension and drama, but I wish the show would focus on other things than nasty, scripted confrontations. We are televising gay people treating each other badly as “adults” – what happened to “It Gets Better”? In a city as large as New York, people who hate each other can easily avoid one another. If you truly have an “A-List” life, you should be so busy with your own interests you rarely have time for friends, much less enemies.
Just my take…
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@Ronbo: said….
“Oh noes you dident! Rodiney is the only real person on the show and he is an import!
The others (Mike, lover, father – excluded), would pose for the cameras at the jewelry counter at Walmart.”
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Is this a joke? Rodiney is a wannabee model. He would pose anywhere for a few dollars wearing and doing whatever anybody told him to.
as for being real…yeah, his fake bisexuality is so real. An ACTUAL bisexual doesn’t get frightened when a pretty girl is interested in him and complain to the camera that they made him nervous. An ACTUAL bisexual would behave quite differently than a phony one.
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@me: What should they do burn her at the stake? Bleeping it out seemed appropriate.
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They were bleeping it to hide the fact that she was slurring transgenders because they don’t want people to find out what type of person she is and protest the show.
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Some of the camply catty comments on this thread make the people on A-List NY appear restrained and peace-loving. Logo really “gets” its core audience.
Yet there’s nothing “real” or “A list” about the show. A-listers wouldn’t dream of appearing on anything like this. All of the situations are set up. The people are car-wreck amusing, but reveal very little about the realities of life for gay people (even A-list gay people).
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@Cam: Rodiney’s fake bisexuality stems from the social unacceptability of him being gay either to his family or because he has mental hangups about it, bottom line. This is the case with most bisexuals. Ryan is a fake granny bitch. Seriously, where does she take her cues from other than the bridge club? Austin is not fat, in fact, I would guarantee that most on here who call him fat are probably quite unattractive themselves. Further, I find it funny that people like TJ make fun of Austin when TJ couldn’t pay Austin or his beloved Reichen to fuck him. Blanched fries with ketchup anybody? No thanks. That is bullying and I thought we were all trying to stop that? I guess not. Rodiney is sweet but also quite a wannabe. TJ is obnoxious and pointless. Reichen is beautiful and annoying. Nyasha is a straight up bitch who needs to get checked by someone who knows how to read like a pro. Until someone on this show reads that girl the riot act, there aren’t any real gay men to be found on it. Derek is beyond pathetic and sad. I question how some of these people are A-List. What’s he do other than pretend? Reichen’s a reality celeb and Austin modeled and dated Marc Jacobs, which is probably why some people really don’t like him. Ryan? Gold digging two faced grandma. I wouldn’t fuck that with another hunty’s dick, just saying. Mike Ruiz and his dad warm my heart. But of all of them, the two that need read and checked are Ryan and Nyasha. Ryan looks forty damn years old.
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I LOVE ME SOME NYASHA all yall hoes needa back off from her, yes she’s loud, yes she’s sometimes can be a name dropper; but other than that she is perfectly fine. She was the only one on this show that was able to dish it back to Austin. She sent him to the other room in tears. And seriously, why are you all backing Austin: he is a joke, he has no respect for other people, and for some reason thinks he’s entitled to something but doesn’t have the work for it. And yes Austin is not fat; but he wants to be a model yet he is not model material? Listen to be a model you need to look the part. Please tell me, do you know any persons with only a phd in art working as a the top leading astrophysicist for NASA. No you do not…for every job you have to meet the requirements and Austin is not meeting the requirements. Plain and Simple.
Ryan at first i thought you were side hopping at first. I thought you was a twofaced little lizard, but now i know, the only side your playing for is your own side; fuck anyone else. You do what you gotta do hunny
TJ i love you. You are the most real person here. despite what ever drama you stayed the same
Derek i loved you then hated you and now i love you
Riechen stop moaning bout Rodiney, the boy is licking coochie now he dont give a fuck bout your feelings move along hunny, you look like a ken barbie; and seriously stop tryna fuck everyhing that walks and has a dick
Mike- You are the true Alist dont get caught up in drama
Rodiney: your so cute and dumb just keep doing you and dont worry bout no one else
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Let me state for the record… I’m 51, fat, and bald. But once upon a time I was young and cute with long blond hair, skinny as a rail. Now my one word cast critiques.
Derek: hypocrite
Austin: hick
Reichen: narcissist
Ryan: phony
TJ: addict
Rodiney: ambitious
Mike: yawn
Nyasha: hag
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Austin’s voice is like nails on a chalkboard. ANNOYING, whiney, nasally, munchkin like (in fact he looks like one too). He’s also a moron. I feel bad for his husband (who seems to be a genuinely sweet guy), cause that relationship is a joke from Austin’s side. He’s a total slut.
Reichen? Non mother f*&kin factor
Ryan and TJ? I love love love
Nausea? Why in the hell is this nasty, obnoxious, big mouthed, classless, clueless hag on this show? I loved this show more when she was NOT on it. She clearly has self esteem issues, which is why she always needs to announce how fabulous she is in attempts to make people believe it. Her wigs suck too, so how in the hell is she making a living out of this? Ewwww go away.
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I forgot to add that I really loved this show until they brought Nyasha on. Get rid of her and get another guy in if you need another cast member. She’s useless and ruining the show! Walking around with dead animals on her head. LAME!
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I’ll give my own recap.
1. Rodiney, if you are going to pretend to be bisexual here is a quick hint. Don’t look terrified when a pretty girl hits on you and then cry to the camera that it made you feel uncomfortable. Bisexual means you like men AND women…not that you like men and SAY you like women, acting is not in your future.
2. Reichen, grow a backbone. When Nyasha is insulting you, tell her to shut up. Or better yet, tell her to just hand over her resume, since that is the only thing she is interested in talking about, reading it will save both her and your time.
3. Derek, trying to claim that you are the bigger person rings false when you smile when you talk smack about Nyasha behinde her back but then pretend to be her friend because you live that it will drive Austin Crazy.
4. Ryan, you look ridiculous. Enough with the botox, enough with the idiotic clothing, you look ridiculous.
5. TJ, who cares.
6. Nyasha, “Being Real” isn’t an excuse for your behavior. You aren’t interesting, and are obviously sleeping with somebody at Logo or with somebody at the production company to be on this show. You are the cousin Oliver of “The A List”.