The Hobbit Will Feature Gay Wizard, Sword Fighting, Dwarf Tossing

We already knew that gay funnyman Stephen Fry would appear in Peter Jackson’s Lord of The Rings prequel The Hobbit (and everyone knows that hobbit is just new gay speak for short bears). But there’s also Gandalf the Gay, a bunch of beards swishing their swords together, some hardcore dwarf tossing, an all-male choir and two hobbits fighting over the most fabulous ring ever. Bust out the chain mail and mead—next Christmas is gonna be gayer than all of Lothlorien.