generalizations

This Is What Straight Women Think About A Gay Man Taking Over As White House Social Secretary

Jeremy Bernard, the Obama fundraiser who turned a National Endowment for the Humanities liaison gig into his new White House social secretary post, is “queer and I predict he’s going to be terrific at his new job,” writes newspaper columnist Celia Rivenbark. And how does Ms. Rivenbark know Bernard is going to be a great hostess? For the obvious reasons, of course: he fits her perfect little description of “totally, well, fabulous” gays.

Cultural maven Bernard, a longtime Obama fundraiser and a big player in such Rush-reviled entities as the National Endowment for the Humanities and the Kennedy Center, is perfect for the job. State Dinner for 500? Please. Give this man a real challenge.

I realized that my long-held suspicion that gay men were All That was true when I watched “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” many years ago.

This is not to say that all gay men throw great parties, dress impeccably or even know how to pronounce “foie gras.” But, in my experience, most do. And while some of my very best friends and husbands are heterosexuals, I can’t help but think that a hetero guy wouldn’t be as good in the job. Which I suppose makes me sort of a reverse bigot. But, honestly. My own stereotypes aside, do you really believe the average heterosexual man could advise the First Lady on fashion? Black & Decker, yes. Dolce & Gabbana, not so much. It is why he is completely unashamed to leave the house in a short-sleeved “dress” shirt. Shudder.

So congratulations to Jeremy Bernard, who meets not only the Obamas’ qualifications for social secretary, but straight female America’s as well: a true fashionista who always chooses the proper stationary and china pattern.