maga makeover

This latest Kristi Noem conspiracy theory is so bonkers… it might actually be true?

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A new Kristi Noem conspiracy theory has landed and it’s equally parts creepy and hilarious… and maybe actually true?

Let’s dive in…

In case you haven’t been paying attention, South Dakota’s gay-hating governor has been campaigning to be Trump’s running mate in the 2024 presidential election for some time now.

“Trump needs a strong partner,” she told Newsmax back in September. “He’s gonna need somebody who knows what it’s like to run a business … also to have a wife, mom, and grandmother isn’t bad either.”

From singing the one-term, twice-impeached, quadruply-indicted ex-president’s praises to the media, to dressing up like the Statue of Liberty and tagging him on social media to ask if he approves, Noem has been pulling out all the stops to win his affection.

In recent months, she also appears to have hired a glam squad. Her cheeks look rosier. Her lips look plumper. Her eyes look smokier. She’s upped her fashion game, added highlights and hair extensions, started working out more, and even had her teeth redone.

Earlier this year, Noem visited Dr. Bret Davis and the team at Smile Texas, a dentist’s office based in the Lone Star State, to have all her front teeth fixed. Afterwards, she filmed a commercial touting the clinic’s exceptional work.

“When they showed my new teeth, I hugged Dr. Davis, and thanked him, and just started to cry,” she said in the nearly five-minute video shared to social media in March.

It’s unclear whether Noem was paid for the commercial, or if she used her position as governor to get a discount on the procedure.

But is Noem’s transformation from South Dakota soccer mom to MAGA bombshell all about her quest to be VP? Or is she trying to physically morph herself into a Trump?

On the latest episode of Daily Beast’s The New Abnormal podcast, co-host Andy Levy posed this very question.

“Kristi Noem is going through all these makeovers,” he opined. “She’s got the new teeth, she’s got the new hair… she’s looking more and more like a Trump family member every day.”

“I don’t think Trump is going to go with someone like Elise Stefanik or Nancy Mace. I think he wants something that fits his version of attractive and so that’s why I just have a feeling it’s gonna be Kristi Noem.”

New York Times fashion writer Vanessa Friedman made a similar observation when she chronicled Noem’s looks over the years, from a power bob-wearing congresswoman to a wannabe Miss America:

After Mr. Trump won the presidency and the MAGA movement took off, Ms. Noem adopted a new look. Her hair got longer and longer, with tousled waves kissed by the curling iron, her part moved to the center. She began to resemble a doppelgänger for Kimberly Guilfoyle, Donald Trump Jr.’s fiancée. Or a dark-haired version of Lara Trump, Eric Trump’s wife and the new co-chair of the Republican National Committee.

The 52-year-old MAGA queen’s campaign to become Trump’s #2 (or possibly become a Trump entirely) stretches back to last spring, when she launched a whistleblower hotline for people to report any suspected “wokeness” happening at colleges. The hotline, which was predictably disastrous, was one of Noem’s many attacks against LGBTQ+ people.

Since assuming office in 2019, Noem has banned gender-affirming care for minors and banned drag shows. She was recently ordered to pay a transgender advocacy group $300,000 for wrongfully terminating a contract with the organization.

In addition to everything she’s been doing in front of the camera, she’s also reportedly been angling for a private meeting with Trump’s former VP (who he tried to have killed) Mike Pence to pick his brain about what else she might try to become next in line to be murdered by Trump’s followers.

Despite Noem’s many, many efforts, Trump’s camp has insisted that he doesn’t have a VP shortlist and, in fact, has a very, very long list that only gets longer by the week. They’ve also indicated he probably won’t make an announcement before the opening of the Republican National Convention in Milwaukee on July 15.

Related:

Kristi Noem proves there’s nothing she won’t do or say to be picked as Trump’s #2

The South Dakota governor says she thanks God Trump was in the White House during the onset of COVID.

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