DICKMATIZED

Watch Male Strippers Have Their Penises Measured, Learn To Hump Chairs

male-strippers-dick-measuredStraight white women have officially discovered male strippers thanks to the Magic Mike franchise, so get ready to have male strippers pounded into your face and shoved down your throat for the next two years.

On second thought…it doesn’t sound that bad.

E! has released the first official trailers for Men of the Strip, a new reality show about the male dancers working at a Vegas strip club. This show was obviously created by an office full of horny women salivating on the boardroom table, so it obviously will include scenes where men have their penises measured and are instructed to “hump the woman, up then in.” (Don’t just “go in,” FYI.)

Check out the clips below, and try not to laugh when Sir Bro with the 17-inch bicep squeals that he’s “never had my dick measured.” Lulz all around.

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27 Comments

  • sportyguy1983

    Their parents must be so proud of them. It is every little boys dream to grow up to be a stripper. Such a respectable job.

  • Nowuvedoneit

    Those aren’t strippers they are go go dancers, and meh in any of the sh!t on E!

  • bsaucy00

    “Stripping is an art” Funny enough I was in The Louvre 2 week ago and some guy stripped and shoved his junk in my face.

    It was a good day!

  • mcflyer54

    @sportyguy1983: At least they’re working and it’s not McDonald’s or Wal-Mart. Maybe not your career choice but so what? Lots of people enjoy watching them and lots of guys enjoy the money and the workout it provides.

  • bambinoitaliano

    @sportyguy1983: I hope every little boys grow up don’t become so judgy like you and be respectful of everyone’s choices.

  • sportyguy1983

    Sorry, but I don’t have to respect everyone’s choices. I have to allow them to make their choices (even when they are ridiculous), but I don;t have to respect them. I am sure they are big boys and can handle being judged, otherwise they really shouldn’t be on a reality show for everyone to see them.

  • Large Marge

    Awww, poor sportyguy is jealous.

  • sportyguy1983

    @Large Marge NAHHH!! lol

  • DarkZephyr

    @sportyguy1983: I don’t think you respect ANY one. You are just a self righteous grinch.

  • Stache99

    @sportyguy1983: Most of your posts are usually negative and full of hate. Not getting respect from you is a good thing.

  • sportyguy1983

    I respect plenty of people. Unfortunately queerty doesn’t post many articles about people who deserve my respect. If that makes me a grinch, oh well. that’s not my problem.

  • Billy Budd

    sportyguy is not a nice guy. He is also not a good sport, despite his name.

  • Snapper59

    Anybody who thinks “Magic Mike” ushered in male strippers into the public lexicon wasn’t around for the cheesy late 70s and 80s when prime time TV dramas had crime hunks from “TJ Hooker” and “Simon and Simon” having to go undercover as male strippers to solve the rash of male stripper related homicides. It was all the rage for easy ratings.

  • Mezaien

    Male Strippers, should be taught in every community Colleges in the USA.

  • Tookietookie123

    @sportyguy1983: Your comments are truly unnecessary, you just sound judgmental and annoying.

  • Brendan

    Some people are clearly just bitter and lonely… Or maybe they just needs a good lay.

  • carey579

    Yes they are Go-Go dancers and most of them are gay.

  • sportyguy1983

    @Tookietookie123 My comments are as necessary as yours so i will keep giving my opinions/comments as i see fit.

  • Geeker

    So is body hair illegal on their planet?

  • Celtic

    @bsaucy00: Well, I hope it was a LOT of junk because I love lots of junk. It’s even better, skin on. :)

  • Dakotahgeo

    @sportyguy1983: You really aren’t the brightest light bulb in the chandelier, are you? Fail! BIG fail!

  • Korianto

    Remember, these guys are all “WOMEN’S” Fantasies, not Men’s. As such, yes they’ll be hairless, they’ll be pretty, they’ll have muscular button etc.

    One thing I thought odd, these guys never, ever, measured themselves? Give me a break – I thought all men did that as soon as they realized Penises came in different sizes. Everyone wants to see how they measure up, don’t they?

    • Dakotahgeo

      @Korianto: Quite frankly, no people don’t! People who are “stuck” on porn do. That is the least I measure in my mind when I meet an intelligent, good-looking man. Sorry for you!

  • crowebobby

    I have a normally-proportioned body (I was a professional dancer), but I find it physically impossible to even begin to take off my T-shirt like these guys are doing. No point to this comment, I’m just curious if I’m a rarity or they are.

  • Maude

    In most of the gay strip clubs in nyc, the guy sitting next to you could blow you, or you him, while you’re watching the stripper.

Comments are closed.