DOLL HOUSE

WATCH: Straight Soldiers Bump And Grind Each Other To “Barbie Girl”

 

In honor of DADT’s impending demise, we present this clip of  two hetero Marines soldiers doing a sexy dance to Aqua’s “Barbie Girl,” complete with groping, grinding and simulated sex.

We say they’re hetero for the following reasons:

1. They tell us they are on their YouTube page.

2. No self-respecting gays would play that song anymore.

3. If they were gay, the clip would be a lot more graphic and would’ve been posted on XTube.

4. Green camouflage is sooo 2007.

Regardless, it’s hot sweet seeing two soldiers unwind and enjoy some male camaraderie. We salute you boys—and we’re counting down the days to September 20, when your gay brethren can start serving openly!

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31 Comments

  • Thomas Maguire

    These guys are not soldiers. They are Marines. Soldiers are in the Army, Marines are in the Marine Corps.

    There is only one difference between a straight Marine and a gay Marine: a straight Marine holds his own legs in the air.

  • t money

    hmmmmm. interesting. the funny thing is that they probably had to conceptualize this and practice before turning on the cameras. ya, totally not gay. the bigger guy does seem to get excited tho…

  • Andre

    They after not Marines! They after in Army PT uniforms. Look closely you can see Army on the shirt and shorts. Please reread and correct title.

  • Thomas Maguire

    @Andre: I should watch the video before I open my yap. Also, the soldier with the shaved head has a smokin bod and clearly has great hips. He’d be a fun fuck.

  • MiKem

    Don’t you know that all Marines are Heteros, regardless of whether they are “tops” or “bottoms”.

  • Whuh?

    Huh? Whuh? Sorry. Mesmerized by what was flopping around in ol’ boy’s pants.

  • Mick in Detroit

    to echo the above, the ARMY shirt and shorts tend to give away that these are not MARINES. Seriously? were you that flummoxed by the str8 guy grinding that you missed that?

  • I have a question

    So the one wearing the t-shirt that says “Army” and the one wearing the shorts that says “Army” are actually in the Marines. Is this some sort of military cross dressing thing?

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    That was so exceptionally gay, I actually felt uncomfortable watching it.

    I think these men are gay:

    1. The guy with the shaved head is far too experienced in grinding another man
    2. The guy with the full head of hair was shy about taking his shirt off.

  • TomMc

    @Mr. Enemabag Jones: Agreed. Shaved head dude at least bi; other one possibly bi. (Watch it with the sound off.)

  • Marie Cohn

    There are no straight Marines, only pre-gay ones.

  • bandanajack

    i think the chubby one was GETTIN a chubby.

  • Dali

    FAKE alert! At best, this was an audition for gay porn. At worst, this was some guys’ attempt to discredit the US Military Force (Please apologize if I have the name wrong, as I’m not American and I don’t know the official name of your military).

  • Dali

    FAKE ALERT! At best, this was an audition for gay porn. At worst, this was making fun of DADT. Military personnel are much wiser than we think. They know that their image titillates gay men. Most of them have learned how to play with it.

  • gayfamilyvalues

    Ok first I agree these are Marines…As for the title about STRAIGHT??? I dont think so the little guy set my gay dar off big time…

  • scribe31

    no way the tall one is gay… is there a man reading this that could have that little cute piece of ass on your dick and not get a hard-on? The tall dude is str8. The shorter one, well maybe he has sisters that made him play dress up or something… lol

  • Catmann

    Is the taller one sporting a semi? Str8 my ass!

  • RangerAJ

    Why werent these guys my roommates when I was in the Army?
    I vote,,,,Not Fake.
    Small nimble guy,,,,Gay.
    Larger guy,,,,just needs a nudge.

  • Jim Hlavac

    Egad, we won the culture war! Hallelujah! :)

  • Ryan

    That was really awkward, the gayer one didn’t even lip sync properly. Don’t post videos like this just ’cause they’re fagging out on each other if it isn’t really any good. It’s just not post worthy….nice ass though.

  • George412

    instead of figuring out if they are gay or marines or army I question why they even felt the need to veideotape themselves and then post it? who cares? it’s not like they are good dancers or were actually singing. Just more members of generation whatever they are are called starving for attention.

  • WillBFair

    #5 reason why they’re not gay: the dancing was excruciating.

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  • Jack E. Jett

    Closeted homos like this make the situationa worse for everyone concerned. As a Pacifist and somone who thinks war is a waste of money and lives, I don’t enjoy my tax bucks being spent for armed forces to make music videos. But .then I am jaded and bitter.

  • chrism

    No way will you ever see a jarhead wearing Army PT clothes – never gonna happen – I’ve had enough Marines to know that. Besides, no Marine would ever be as out of shape as the guy who keeps his shirt on (for very obvious reasons). Know what they call the 13 button fly front on a sailors uniform? A marine’s tablecloth.

  • Taricus

    @Jack E. Jett: They aren’t at work ALL the time… Anymore than you are at work 24/7. Your tax dollars aren’t paying for them having actual lives like normal people. They aren’t machines. “RAWRRRR!! I’M SO ANGRY!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY LET THEM GO TO SLEEP EVERY DAY!! I DON’T WANT MY TAX DOLLARS GOING INTO HUMANS GETTING ADEQUATE REST TO EFFECTIVELY DO THEIR JOB AND MAINTAIN MORALE!!!” = Jack #. Jett

  • Taricus

    @Jack E. Jett: They aren’t at work ALL the time… Anymore than you are at work 24/7. Your tax dollars aren’t paying for them having actual lives like normal people. They aren’t machines. “RAWRRRR!! I’M SO ANGRY!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY LET THEM GO TO SLEEP EVERY DAY!! I DON’T WANT MY TAX DOLLARS GOING INTO HUMANS GETTING ADEQUATE REST TO EFFECTIVELY DO THEIR JOB AND MAINTAIN MORALE!!!” = Jack E. Jett

  • Jeff

    omg these guys ARE gay! It’s so obvious. Esp the more buff guy. A big ole gurl! And what’s up with the guys big gut? I thought marines were supposed to have flat tummies. At least the straight ones that I did all had flat ones. HOLLA

  • Dorian

    @Mr. Enemabag Jones: I agree a straight man would not have been so self conscience about taking off his shirt. A straight guy sucks it up and sucks it in (the gut)…

Comments are closed.