READING ROOM

What’s It Like To Have Kinky Gay Sex With Donald Trump?

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Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have kinky gay sex with Republican frontrunner Donald Trump?

No?

Neither have we. But we’re all about to find out thanks to the imaginings of comedian and author Elijah Daniel.

Related: Watch Donald Trump Admit Antigay Tony Perkins Helped Write His Latest Speech

Trump Temptation: The Billionaire & The Bellboy is a sexy new gay erotica novel currently taking the self-publishing world by storm. The 10-page story and Amazon bestseller details an illicit tryst between the Republican frontrunner and a young, male intern at the Trump Hotel in Hong Kong.

Daniel, who wrote the book while he was drunk one evening, says he was inspired by E.L. James, author of Fifty Shades of Grey. This is evident in his lush, flowery prose.

Here are a few short excerpts from the book:

“My loins trembled as the scent of toupee adhesive and spray tan swept through my nasal cavity.”

“His gorgeous ass flapped behind him like a mouthwatering stack of pancakes in his pants. My hunger for pancakes had never been stronger.”

“I had to admit it, I wanted his geriatric 2006 Perez Hilton jello body, and I wanted it bad.”

“The door creaked open and there he was, handsome as ever, like a giant melting fat carrot with fake hair.”

Related: Kirk Cameron Lands Starring Role In Softcore Gay Erotica

Trump Temptation: The Billionaire & The Bellboy has been out for less than a week and it has already reached #1 on Amazon’s Gay Erotica bestseller list and accumulated over 150 5-star reviews. Here’s what people are saying:

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Trump Temptation: The Billionaire & The Bellboy joins a growing list of raunchy Trump-inspired erotica. But just in case it doesn’t quite satiate your appetite, here are some more titles worth checking out:

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You’re welcome.

Related: This American Bald Eagle Knows What To Do With Donald Trump

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19 Comments

  • Jeffrey McIntyre

    NO!!!! I have NOT wondered. Thanks for killing my appetite for today. Perhaps the entire week. yuck.

  • Scott McIntosh

    ??The door creaked open and there he was, handsome as ever, like a giant melting fat carrot with fake hair.? – Oh how I wish I had written that!

  • Tobi

    OK, that’s enough internet for today.

  • Kangol

    Those book covers are hilarious! “Cliff Fuxtable” LOL

  • justgeo

    Live too close in NYC how fast can I PUKE. Get me bleach to spit in his asshole maybe that’ll put him down!!!!!!!!!!!

  • joeyty

    @justgeo: With that bad writing how can he afford to live in NYC ??

  • Brian

    A lot of this stuff seems to be homophobic. It’s hilarious reading some of the hypocritical gays and their comments on how funny homophobia is. Get a grip, guys.

    The fact is Donald Trump is not homophobic. In fact, he represents the least homophobic of all the Republican candidates. Hillary Clinton has done nothing for gay rights and yet many of you worship at her crotch.

  • 1EqualityUSA

    Trump wants conservatives on the bench. Trumps fav is Thomas.

  • joeyty

    @Brian: It’s bizarre, isn’t it ? Maybe gays just hate anybody born in NYC.

  • joeyty

    @Brian: And then, like such grown men, they say, “Hey, let’s write a story about Trump having gay sex. That’ll get him real good !” As if…having gay sex is a bad thing, anyway.. ?

  • Liam

    The idea, that anyone could even consider having sex with Trump and his ego, makes me vomit.

  • joeyty

    @Liam: There are worse people. Imagine if Elijah Daniel had made up a tale about doing it with Larry Kramer.

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