out of step

When F1 Champ Niki Lauda Bashes Alfons ‘Bruno’ Haider For Dancing With A Man, He Isn’t Homophobic!

Not everybody is thrilled Alfons Haider, the Austrian television reporter widely believed to be Sacha Baron Cohen’s inspiration for Bruno, will be competing on the reality show Dancing Stars with another man. There’s Niki Lauda, Austria’s three-time Formula One world champion, who insists he’s not homophobic when he says Haider should be barred from dancing with a heterosexual guy on the show. And he wants it taken to the top!

“I am completely serious,” Lauda, who now owns his own airline, says in a newspaper interview. “I am furious that the publicly funded state broadcaster, which is paid for by licence payers, is so desperate to boost viewer numbers that it decides to promote gay dancing. There are so many good things in our culture and one of those is that men dance with women. At this rate we will soon have to be saying sorry because we are heterosexual. What really disturbs me is they are so worried about viewer numbers that they want to destroy valuable traditions from our land. I don’t want my children to see on the state television that a man is dancing with a man and that they believe that they should do the same. I want the general director Alexander Wrabetz, who is also a legally married man, to stop this gay dance number and that the self promoting Alfons Haider should not be allowed on public television to promote his gay show. I also want the Board of Directors and politicians to get involved.”

But c’mon, it’s not like he’s being bigoted, y’all! “I have absolutely nothing against homosexuals,” Lauda insists. “In fact, quite the contrary. In my airline Fly Niki I even have a few working for me, there is even some who are trainers. All I want is that children and teenagers don’t get to see the wrong role models in dancing. The best thing about dancing is that men dance with women and therefore this viewer chasing game number from Mister Haider needs to be stopped.”

No. The best thing about dancing is the tight Lycra outfits.

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