For as long as gay men have been making names for themselves in showbiz, there have been fiercely famous beards by their side. A perfect accessory for any self-loathing gay celebrity, the “beard” by definition is “any opposite sex escort taken to an event in an effort to give a homosexual person the appearance of being out on a date with a person of the opposite sex.”
Rock Hudson had one, Liberace had two, and there’s no doubt closeted gay Hollywood is chock-full of them cough today. Perhaps the most famous (and certainly the most obvious) modern gay beard is country star Taylor Swift, a beard so highly revered and profitable she’s been considered by some to be Hollywood’s first Power Beard.
But even though she’s dated nearly every male celebrity with a face, not one of Swift’s previous boyfriends has ever come out of the closet. She’s had so many relationships, it’s plausible to believe at least one of them was purely for show, right? So which one is it?
Swift dated JoBro heartthrob Joe Jonas back in 2008, before he was hot. He revealed last year that they never actually had sex, probably because Taylor refused to whip and penetrate him.
Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner most likely just exchanged makeup tips and boy gossip during their three-month relationship in late 2009. The brief stint ended after she broke up with him, inspiring one of her only “apology songs.”
John Mayer is probably, most definitely, not gay. The singer briefly dated Swift in 2009/2010 before he settled down with Katy Perry, who definitely doesn’t play the beard game.
Jake Gyllenhaal allegedly prefers “tits and ass,” but we’re still secretly hoping his brief 2010 relationship with Swift was a sham. She may not want him anymore, but we certainly do!
Swift took a dip in the Kennedy family gene pool for three months in 2012, when she dated 18-year-old Conner Kennedy. They broke up after three months because they “lived too far apart.”
If One Direction frontman Harry Styles were gay, he’d probably just be openly gay. His one month relationship with Swift last year was likely just for kicks.
And there’s no need to imagine this iron-clad ally as one-half of a same-sex relationship, there are plenty of racy photos that’ll paint a pretty awesome picture for you.
Swift continues to deny allegations that she briefly dated Zac Efron last year. But the world would stop turning if we ceased speculation about Zac’s sexuality, so…
And finally, most importantly, Swift’s most recent sighting with rumored (but definitely “not“) gay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers. They’re not officially dating, and they’re definitely not fooling around, but was their recent night out simply Bearding in action?
robirob
All of them except John Mayer and maybe Connor Kennedy.
tada-no
Lautner and Jonas are the confirmed closet cases right now. There is a clip of Joe salivating over a guy’s ass and Lautner has a hard time playing his straight game every time he does interviews and suddenly his hands and finger snapping turn drag.
litper
All of them. She’s a professional beard.
Mel
slut
Kenny Days
She’s a professional beard like Alyssa Tabit and Louis Tomlinsons girl. These types of women need to be exposed for the fraud they are instead of using men for money and exposure.
Cam
Jesus, All of them?
Scribe38
Swift would come out with a song about dating gay men if any of this was true, because that is what she does. She bad mouths dudes she dates, and makes millions from it. If a dude did the same thing women would nail him to the wall, but she gets away with it somehow. And no the troll didn’t high jack my profile. I just find what she does as mean and unnecessary.
Scribe38
If any of the guys she dated is gay, she has no idea cause she would out them.
Spike
I betting that she ends up to be a big ol lesbian.
Razmos
I can’t help but laugh every time I see Taylor Swift being called a “Power Beard”. I’m not even sure what I find so funny about it.
Njmtpa
Kennedy showin some bulge
balehead
Makes sense…Everybody knows she’s a closet dyke…..
balehead
Harry Styles would be out in a second if it were true…and he’d still get girls….
Dixie Rect
I think she goes through all of these men because she doesn’t put out. She wants to remain the town virgin, and the straight men get annoyed and dump her. I’d say 3/4 of them are gay, so, its a win win for everyone!
ppp111
@Scribe38:
Yeah, I noticed that too. I wouldn’t put it past her to insinuate that past boyfriends weren’t into her like that. Let’s admit it: if Kanye hadn’t done what he did she would never had gotten such a wave of good publicity. Whatever. I don’t listen to her anyway so it’s no skin off my teeth.
LadyL
What is it about this girl that annoys me so? Someone help me out here.
Bjk
“gay by association” isn’t that from the bigot’s playbook? Queerty?
Bob LaBlah
My guess is this HAS to be a clandestine paid advertisement for either the Jonas girl or the little ugly pig-nosed twink (Lautner) whom I simply can not picture nude out of fear of throwing up.
renly
Yeah, Harry probably would come out on his own if it were up to him. But rumor has it all of the One Direction boys signed contracts with their management preventing them from coming out. That’s why they stuck Louis with a beard, gave Harry the womanizer persona in the media, and Zayn’s engaged to a girl that (surprising no one) is on the same record label as the band. Even if they wanted to come out, they probably won’t be able to for at least a couple of more years until they’re desperate for publicity.
jcmiles
All of them!
Why would she say anything? She knows! and besides she can make up a song and have new hit. And by the way I will take that little pig-nosed nude twink. Thank you
hotshot70
Queerty, who gives a rat’s ass about Taylor Swift? Anyone dating her will end up as subject of a breakup song.
hotshot70
Besides, after she takes their souls, they want to be gay.
Jackhoffsky
God, she gets around. What are the chances ANY of them (gay OR straight) would’ve actually had sex with her??
jmmartin
John Mayer is homophobic and has been quoted saying some really mean-spirited, ugly things about gays. He is one of a small group of “genuinely” homophobic people: those who are not acting out to convince others (and/or themselves) that they, themselves, are not gay. Tony Perkins is not one of them.
MK Ultra
Hmmm, Joe Jonas, Harry Styles, and Taylor Lautner.
And yes, I could see Swift as a closet lesbian herself.
macmantoo
I would say Joe Jonas,Taylor and maybe Connor are gay, Harry is at least bi. And Taylor Swift reminds me too much of the fem girls who are lesbians.
macmantoo
I would say Joe Jonas,Taylor and maybe Connor are gay, Harry is at least bi. Zac is a gay but very deep in the closet. And Taylor Swift reminds me too much of the fem girls who are lesbians.
Dev.C
Yeah my money is on Jonas, Lautner, Efron and Styles. My gaydar has been ringing for majority of these guys for the longest time. Hollywood still doesn’t except leading gay men in music or film, so it would totally make sense that they would be closeted.
Niall
That’s very disrespectful to Taylor and I’m not even a fan. But yeah, Taylor Lautner is most likely gay, so probably him.
SusanDancigercic
as Terry answered I am in shock that some people able to get paid $4352 in 1 month on the computer . you can check here W o r k s 7 7 . ? ? ?
balehead
You made $4352 in 1 month?….So did I!….
pscheck2
a couple of posters suggest Connor could be a ‘suspect’ Well, how about Patrick Schwarzenegger(?) the West coast branch of the Kennedy clan? He recently was photoed leaving a night spot (or Red carpet thing) with Taylor Lautner.( of course, they could just be promoting Taylor’s latest film and Patrick just came along for the ride?). You know, so much is going on in
Tinsel town that if only a third of these rumors or blind gossip columns are correct, the ladies will pull out their hair aand line up at the wailing wall decrying the travesty of sexual orientation of their fantasy hunks!(“It can’t be, he is married and has 10 kids!”) ha,ha if only you knew, ladies!
BiL
@Spike: I’ve been saying the same thing for a long time.
amelia-m
“If One Direction frontman Harry Styles were gay, he’d probably just be openly gay”.. lol is this a sarcastic reference to that art piece that harry recently bought that said ‘if i wasn’t straight i’d definitely be gay’? i’m presuming it must be sarcasm because harry is absolutely not straight; out of all the guys you listed here, he’s the only one who’s actively and consistently pushing against the closet door. i’m sure that if he could come out now he would, and that the only things stopping him are appearance clauses in his current contract and huge pressure from his current management. and it’s certainly accurate that there’s “no need to imagine him as one-half of a same-sex relationship”, because it’s already reality; he’s in a relationship with his bandmate louis.
MeMo
Sadly my last comment didn’t seem to post (idk why) but I’ll summarise it.
Basically all the men you mention (barring Kennedy) have every reason to closet because they are contractually bound and huge money and power is involved.
Few of the names you mention (especially megabucks Harry Styles, with half the planet’s girl’s chasing him down every day) have NO actual scope to come out freely of their own will if they are bi or gay because (in his case he does quite well because he drops loads of subtle hints)…but his idiot fanbase will just create mass drama and what’s worse, if they can’t have Louis Tomlinson too they’d just give both parties such grief it’d be ridiculous. Or if it came out that Tomlinson was not involved with him, utter grief, fake suicides on Twitter, fangurl drama. Ugh.
There are literally loads of reasons, some not so obvious to Queerty, clearly, why people like Styles and the Jonases would closet in theory, because of the knock-on effect it’d have on others too.
MeMo
All these men earn huge amounts of money and signed contracts at the beginning – sometimes naively… and that is reason in itself that people are closeting and then finding it difficult to speak or act freely as they otherwise might, years later.
I think the tone of this piece is sexist also. If Swift is a pro beard, then the common denominator is these guys come to HER. She’s prepared to do it, why? Maybe she’s coseted, maybe se’s gay-friendly and maybe it just brings her the PR she likes.
MeMo
@MeMo: pretend I know how to spell ‘closeted’.
Curtispsf
Me thinks the ONLY reason Taylor Swift “dates” men is to get material for her songs. She has no interest in actually touching a dick, just dating them. I feel sorry for Taylor Lautner; he is so darn sweet and closeted that I want to run up to him, mess up his makeup and then tell him it’s gonna be alright while he cries on my shoulder. And after that, of course, I will fuck him silly. And then he will be one of Hollywood’s biggest power bottoms. You watch!!
crowebobby
How hot is it that Connor can wear baggy shorts over baggy boxers and still show bulge? And Harry may not be the hottest or the handsomest dude in the world (though he’s in the running for both), but he is certainly the cutest. The idea of him growing old depresses the hell out of me.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
@Njmtpa: And ya have to take the shrinkage factor into account also! :p
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
@crowebobby: Check out comment above :p
Arconcyyon
gays is love girls future family more is like sex passive dote big the mem miss author porno film gays studion is like the sex … star mem author star film ! I´m is more blive kids teen gays ans pint gay collor us the mem TayllorSwift´s becausei they is is big big sex dote is very beautiflyyy perfect is delicion yes ! More is they gerecion the mem kids authore and directon dont´s is no no is assumy is very is naturally GAY AND GAY . Ups nice pepe EUFA LEAUGE CHAMPIONS NFL.Americam the use is anus elastic the no anus is penetracion is pratic the sex the boy mem he his originaly GAY ANS GAY Naturaly byby byby childs tuor país .
pscheck2
@Arconcyyon: your post I think requires subtitles! Haven’t a clue of what you wrote!
da90027
News flash!! I dont give a shit about anyone mentioned in this article…lol if I aint bangin them who cares?
pjm1
hmmm, the only one i would say is definitely in the gay column
is Rodgers. He needed some serious cover after his (former) live-in went
a bit rogue. But, even though he is the NFL MVP last year, his smart move
is unfortunately staying in the closet — the NFL is just not ready and Rodgers
has a super bowl or 2 ahead of him. So, whats the verdict Queerty — does
Rodgers have a right to stay in the closet and win a few super bowls and MVPs —
or should he come out (and essentially, sadly) end his career?
I say he should stay in the closet, get the money, win some super bowls, the “shock”
everyone when he comes out — after retirement.
martinbakman
@Spike: TS does seem to appear happiest in the company of girls.
Have to laugh John Mayer is listed. His music has given no hint of gay, like that lovelorn song he wrote when J. Anniston dumped him.
Elfffs
Jake, Zac, and Mayer aren’t gay, the rest are gay. Like to mention, Zac never dated Taylor, but both of them were clearly interested in each other (she almost called him cute, and was non-stop blushing all over him during Ellen and other promo’s) but Zac was banging Lily Collins at the time. Pretty sure the song; “Come back be Here” is about Efron Zac because his timeline is the only that fits (Jake’s doesn’t.) He was the last one to kiss her, and had a flight straight away to New York, then on the 7th day (he stayed one week in there, he was instantly in London), there are many other reasons that prove this, Taylor is sneaky. She truly DOES write a song about a guy. She’s lied a lot too about relationships > Harry for example (pairing up songs that don’t make sense and saying it’s about him to stir problems.) Lastly, she’s never spoke about that song; “Come back be here” only ONCE, and she’s never played it live. So it’s not about Jake, or any of the others, not about Jake either because she dated him in NYC only, and this “guy” had to leave FOR NYC, only Zac did this and it was for work-related reasons.
Either way, he’s not gay at all. The guy is very clingy.. He dates girls that look like Vanessa and seems like he still isn’t over her, he bangs whoever he wants on a daily basis.
Elfffs
@Elfffs: Like to mention that all the lyrics mention everything Zac did. The song was written in March 2012, so it would’ve never been about Jake, around the start of Spring Break, and or, around March. She never knew Zac at all, she even states this in interviews but she had “met” him many times, which she refers to when interviewed about a song.. Someone she has MET before many times. Aka, Zac. Hell she treated his body like a piece of meat when Ellen showed his photos, blushed all over him when he sang, and talked, and when she saw picture’s of his chest.
She WISHES she could score Zac.