WATCH: Witty Homosexuals Take Down Magic Mike’s Muscle Men

Behold: four sharp-witted gays engaged in a thoughtful critique of Magic Mike, which hits theaters June 25.

In this charming new video we learn that Louis Virtel is interested in the actors’ swagger, “penis-wise,” Joe Manganiello is Jeffery Self‘s Number One celebrity crush,  Guy Branum is unhappy that the characters have relationships with women; and Bryan Safi gets to the heart of the matter by throwing up his hands and shouting “I don’t like any of ’em!”

I tend to agree. Conventional beauty, body dysmorphia, hegemonic idealization of the male physique, etc. Frankly, I’d be more interested in seeing a stage adaptation starring the four gays in this video.

While we wait for that, those of you in Los Angeles can enjoy the company of Self, Virtel, Branum and Safi at their June 29 UCB Theater show, “The Gay Beatles.

Which, we assume, has something to do with fabulous entomology.


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  • Blake

    The…video doesn’t load properly. Is this correct for anyone else?

    Also, the movie hits theaters June 29th domestically, and July 11th internationally…

  • DouggSeven

    I know this movie will have a huge gay audience and that’s what the producers are intending, but will it have any gay subtext at all for that audience? I’m not sure what Matt Bomer’s character is (he’s gay irl, right?), but it’d be interesting to see what they do with him. Other than that, I’m a little creeped out that gay guys will be gawking at the straight guys on screen – something doesn’t sit right with me about that.

  • R

    @DouggSeven: You’re creeped out that gay guys will be gawking at straight guys? I thought that was our secret trademark.

  • Spike

    That’s what Queerty considers ‘witty’.

    wit·ty/?wit?/ Adjective: Showing or characterized by quick and inventive verbal humor: “a witty remark”.

    Another Queerty FAIL

  • mtomasetti

    The video was okay, but I expected more from Safi and Self. C’mon boys.

    If the Gay Beatles really want to show their stuff, they’ll release a Gay Mystery Science Theater style show. Watching the boys in the front row queening out and offering live commentary while watching Magic Mike would be pure entertainment.

  • WillBFair

    @Spike: Americans don’t like wit. It makes them feel stupid. So the public square has to be stuffed with corn and dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. Get with the program.

  • Daniel S

    “Which, we assume, has something to do with fabulous entomology.” – Made my day!

  • Basch

    @DouggSeven: Um, don’t gay guys always gawk at straight guys/straight celebs? Not to mention in half of the gay bars throughout the country the hot bartenders are straight.

  • Basch

    Also, did he pronounce it “Joe Mag-na-lee-ano” ? lol wtf.

  • Michael Sartin

    “The Gay Beatles” and “fabulous entomology?”

    Etymologically speaking, am I missing something here?

    Beet? Beat? Beatles? Beetles?

  • Juniper

    Where’s Cole? I miss Cole.

  • Alan Mason

    Sad Gay Cliches..All of them>>>

  • Red Assault

    I think you embedded the wrong video. You said it would be “witty homosexuals.”

    We’ll leave the rather odd term “homosexuals” alone for now but there wasn’t a witty one there. There were a few guys who made me cringe to look at them and two who just looked clueless and annoying.

    It becomes very apparent and a bit of a letdown that Bryan Safi didn’t do any of the writing for “That’s Gay” on Current TV. He can deliver funny lines if they’re funny and written by someone else. Sadly his attempt at improv here is the third worst of four bad ones.

    And yeah… this movie looks like a turd fest. No thanks.

  • Cart Pizza

    I don’t like the idea of gays gawking at straight men. There’s FAR TOO MANY gorgeous, hunky, phenomenal gay men to admire. Why be so fawning over straights? It’s lame. Never got that and never will
    (especially considering most straight men are…sorry, but uneducated slobs)

  • MJ

    I love these guys, they are so cute! lol

  • Mk Ultra

    I miss Safi and his “that’s gay” segment.

  • charcus

    I don’t see what the freaking big deal is about this movie, i have no idea what the story is about but i suspect that will not matter at all. Not only are the actors taking their clothes off straight but they even play straight characters…that’s suppose to turn me on?Well it doesn’t

  • DarloPete

    Not remotely interested in this movie. The DVD can stay on the shelf when it comes out too. So, the ‘actors’ are hot? Sorry, not enough to garner any interest from me.

  • FelixWood

    “I tend to agree. Conventional beauty, body dysmorphia, hegemonic idealization of the male physique, etc. Frankly, I’d be more interested in seeing a stage adaptation starring the four gays in this video.”??

    Is this the same Queerty that regularly posts photos of ‘sexy’, ‘gorgeous’, ‘hunky’ ultra-athletic and/or hairless twinky idealised masculine models and gushes over them?

  • Witty Guru

    @Spike: I am not against the gay culture that every person in this world must have right to chose their life partner if they would live happy life long together. And this is only for sex then their is no use of that. I do not understand that whatever quotes they were saying in the video are witty by any means. Because witty means a humor with some wisdom but where was the wisdom in this whole clip. i remember one of the very nice witty quotes by Ralph Waldo Emerson – Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. So this is necessary first to understand the meaning and work accordingly. Wish u all witty life but add some wit in this and some witty quotes in the script of video.

  • DarkZephyr

    *Very Minor Spoilers*

    I have watched about half of this film and its a fairly unrealistically hetero-normative extravaganza. *Every* dancer is straight and the club is packed solely with an all female audience *every* night. The opening scene gives us a shot of nice man-ass that is INSTANTLY off-set by a greater amount of jiggly female T and A. I hate to say it, but what I have seen so far of this film is kinda boring and I wanted so badly to love it. The guys are hot but all they do is play around with girls. It irritates me that the film makers hoped for a huge gay male audience when they didn’t throw us ANY sort of bone whatsoever (no pun intended). They even kind of make fun of homosexuality in a way when “Tarzan” hazes the new kid by having him spray his knees with bronzer and making him rub it in, then everyone laughs at him when he does it. Don’t the filmmakers grasp the fact that long gone are the days when gay guys had to gratefully salivate over hetero-normative films that show a quick glimpse of a nude male bod that is slobbering all over a female that we had to pretend wasn’t there? We have our own feature films now, jam-packed with ripped guy-on-guy content. Sure they are all mainly rather b-grade, but they continue to improve and some are rather excellent. We need a little more than shirtless, dancing, smirking straight guys making moves on dopey 21 year old birthday girls to be really compelled to spend our hard earned money on a film created for its male sex appeal. I will eventually attempt to finish the film and if I do and I find that I need to amend this post because I have been pleasantly surprised, I will. I have my doubts though. I am pretty disappointed.

  • DarkZephyr

    Yeah, nothing new to add.

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