Mean Muggin’

You Think Samantha Ronson’s Gonna Look Contrite In Her Mugshot? Think Again.

SamRo ain't gonna smile for nobody.

By now you’ve probably heard that Lindsay Lohan’s former lady lover, Samantha Ronson, was arrested Monday for DUI as she was making the long trek home to LA after working—and apparently partying—in Vegas.

This morning authorities in San Bernadino released the 33-year-old DJ’s mugshot and accompanying booking sheet. A question: if she’s 5’7” and 102 pounds, doesn’t she technically qualify as a leprechaun? Maybe we haven’t bench-pressed any ladies lately, but that seems awfully waifish.

But what really leaps out at us from this photo isn’t the disturbingly dark bags under her eyes (begging for a couple smudges of concealer) or the badly damaged hair (pleading to have its roots tended to). Nor is it her lazily groomed eyebrows or that we can’t quite put our finger on which constellation the arrangement of freckles on her forehead reminds us of.

No, it’s that, “What, you think I’m scared of some girl-on-girl advances in the prison shower?” smirk she has plastered on her face. Yeah, SamRo, because that sort of anti-doe-eyed “try me” look is going to stir up a lot of sympathy from the officers in the station booking you or the judge who is ultimately going to review your case.

In Ronson’s defense, there aren’t a ton of options when getting your booking photo taken. The shot is super-tight, so it’s not like anyone can see if you try to look sassy with hand on a jutting hip, remorseful by clutching the crucifix on your necklace, or semi-ironic by flashing a cutesy peace sign.

Usually your DUI booking photo looks are limited to the following:

1. Straight, expressionless face (see Lindsay Lohan’s September 2010, Chris Klein’s, and Paris Hilton’s Sept 2007 mugshots)

2. “Oh-my-god-what’s-happening” horrified face (refer to Jaime Pressly and Heather Locklear’s pictures)

3. Still slightly intoxicated grinning face (captured in Mischa Barton’s, Mel Gibson’s 2006, Paris Hilton’s 2010, and Lindsay Lohan’s July 2007 photos)

4.  Classic “wait, are you taking my picture?” face (thank you, Snooki)

5. “I’m an animal, hear me roar” face (shout-out to Nick Nolte and Rip Torn)

or

6. The “it’s on, bitches” face (look up Lindsay Lohan’s 2010 mugshot when she checked into Lynwood or Chace Crawford’s, when he was busted for possession of pot).

Ronson boldly dares to set a new precedent here, essentially telling us “yeah I was drunk…so suck it” with her irritated gaze and “are you shitting me?” mouth shape, thus paving the way for all sorts of twisted smirks and “fuck you” facial expressions served up by celebs booked for DUIs in the future.

 

Image via  SBCSD.

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17 Comments

  • Cam

    Has this woman every had a picture taken when she didn’t…

    1. Have incredibly dark bags under her eyes.

    2. Was either making a weird face or phony gang signs

    3. Just looked like she didn’t feel comfortable in her own skin.

  • Kev C

    Kill it with fire.

  • christopher di spirito

    Take her nasty ass to a car wash, deposit eight quarters and hose her down.

  • Sistercylon

    OMG she doesn’t have makeup on and she’s a woman! She must be punished!

  • TJ

    Meth.

  • Robbie K.

    If ever I saw a meth face this is it

  • boomer

    @Sistercylon: Thank you for being the first to point out how despicable that third paragraph actually is.

  • catinhat

    I don’t think it looks that bad. She had probably been up all night DJing or partying and was returning to LA.

  • The crustybastard

    Drunken mugshot looks like drunken mugshot.

    Yeah, weird.

  • missanthrope

    In the name of fairness, perhaps the Queerty staff writers and people commenting in this thread can post their photos for us to critique. Hope you’ve been hitting the gym and getting those facials folks.

  • CHEEKIEY

    What A Stain On The LGBT Community

  • Spike

    Meth head dyke. Drunk driving back from Vegas at 10 AM, nice. What a pity she didn’t roll her Porsche such that we would never have to hear of or see another pic of her again.

  • mrbrodybrown

    @Sistercylon: to sistercyclon and boomer, i would have made the same joking critique if she were a man. and to add missanthrope in there, if it makes you feel any better, i woke up and looked like shit this morning. my face was fat and puffy, huge bags under my eyes, my hair looked like monkeys had fucked in it, there was dried drool on my face, and it took about four solid hours for my eyes to really open up. luckily for me though, there was no one here to capture it. and no, i haven’t been to the gym in three weeks. if you’d like me to tweet a shirtless pic so you can count the number of rolls in my stomach or the number of ridges on my abs, in the name of fairness, i will ;)

  • Riker

    @mrbrodybrown: Don’t worry, sistercylon and boomer are the same person

  • Cam

    This woman gets hired because she is famous, she has been followed by photogs for ages now and her fame adds many zeros to her income. So please stop pretending that it is SHOCKING that a comment would be made about somebody who is famous, and hired because she was famous, and who looks like shit coming from a public gig.

    Her job is stoking her fame and being seen.

  • Mark

    Her rapid aging definitely worries me in terms of possible meth use and I don’t say that in a put-down way.

Comments are closed.