Mean Muggin’

You Think Samantha Ronson’s Gonna Look Contrite In Her Mugshot? Think Again.

SamRo ain't gonna smile for nobody.

By now you’ve probably heard that Lindsay Lohan’s former lady lover, Samantha Ronson, was arrested Monday for DUI as she was making the long trek home to LA after working—and apparently partying—in Vegas.

This morning authorities in San Bernadino released the 33-year-old DJ’s mugshot and accompanying booking sheet. A question: if she’s 5’7” and 102 pounds, doesn’t she technically qualify as a leprechaun? Maybe we haven’t bench-pressed any ladies lately, but that seems awfully waifish.

But what really leaps out at us from this photo isn’t the disturbingly dark bags under her eyes (begging for a couple smudges of concealer) or the badly damaged hair (pleading to have its roots tended to). Nor is it her lazily groomed eyebrows or that we can’t quite put our finger on which constellation the arrangement of freckles on her forehead reminds us of.

No, it’s that, “What, you think I’m scared of some girl-on-girl advances in the prison shower?” smirk she has plastered on her face. Yeah, SamRo, because that sort of anti-doe-eyed “try me” look is going to stir up a lot of sympathy from the officers in the station booking you or the judge who is ultimately going to review your case.

In Ronson’s defense, there aren’t a ton of options when getting your booking photo taken. The shot is super-tight, so it’s not like anyone can see if you try to look sassy with hand on a jutting hip, remorseful by clutching the crucifix on your necklace, or semi-ironic by flashing a cutesy peace sign.

Usually your DUI booking photo looks are limited to the following:

1. Straight, expressionless face (see Lindsay Lohan’s September 2010, Chris Klein’s, and Paris Hilton’s Sept 2007 mugshots)

2. “Oh-my-god-what’s-happening” horrified face (refer to Jaime Pressly and Heather Locklear’s pictures)

3. Still slightly intoxicated grinning face (captured in Mischa Barton’s, Mel Gibson’s 2006, Paris Hilton’s 2010, and Lindsay Lohan’s July 2007 photos)

4.  Classic “wait, are you taking my picture?” face (thank you, Snooki)

5. “I’m an animal, hear me roar” face (shout-out to Nick Nolte and Rip Torn)


6. The “it’s on, bitches” face (look up Lindsay Lohan’s 2010 mugshot when she checked into Lynwood or Chace Crawford’s, when he was busted for possession of pot).

Ronson boldly dares to set a new precedent here, essentially telling us “yeah I was drunk…so suck it” with her irritated gaze and “are you shitting me?” mouth shape, thus paving the way for all sorts of twisted smirks and “fuck you” facial expressions served up by celebs booked for DUIs in the future.


Image via  SBCSD.

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