Two gay men stand in front of a brown wall. The man on the left, in a blue shirt over a white tee, suspiciously looks over at his partner in a red tee, who's busy typing away on his cell phone.

Forget the explore page! Grindr just spilled some major tea from the gayest places across the country.

In a new 10-city data report, the orange demon app unveiled choice stats about its user base in places like New York, San Francisco, New Orleans, and Phoenix.

While some of the revelations were predictable –– for example, New Yorkers reportedly lust “after educated, bald-headed hunks who know their way around a gallery” –– others were a bit more surprising.

According to the report, Los Angeles had “the lowest average height out of all the cities,” which is great news for the short king population.

Meanwhile, Chicago earned a reputation for all talk and no action, as the app reported windy city users are most likely to have Chat as their No. 1 “Looking For” option.

On the other hand, desert haven Phoenix was noted as a mecca for public play… but not body hair, and Atlanta reportedly has an overwhelming supply of “bubble butt bottoms.” (How’s that for a Georgia peach? 🍑 )

The new study is part of the app’s “Grindr Rides America” bus tour, which is making stops in ten cities for Pride Month. So far, the Grindr bussy has visited San Fran, L.A., Phoenix, and New Orleans, revealing additional details on their Instagram account with each pit stop.

Some more notable insights: the No. 1 position in SF is vers top, New Orlean’s top kink is underwear, and Los Angeles gays are typically looking for “right now.”

You know, if you’re trying to plan your next family vacation or something!

Unsurprisingly, the presence of a giant orange bus is making the LGBTQ+ community even more feral.

Case-in-point: heterosexual streamer Hasan Piker (who’s got a whopping 2.6 million followers on Twitch), who caused complete chaos when he passed by the party during its tenure at WeHo Pride.

While the 32-year-old joked that he was not an ally –– despite being besties with gay streamer Austin Show –– Piker was more than happy to spank a twink in an American flag speedo for the camera.

(You can watch the office-unfriendly clip yourself here.)

In other parts of the country, people have been sharing sightings of the metal monstrosity on-the-go.

“And if the Grindr tour bus crashes into us,” one user wrote alongside a snap of the boys en route.

Somehow, we don’t think this is what The Smiths had in mind when they wrote “There is a Light That Never Goes Out.” Nevertheless, let this serve as a reminder to ALWAYS buckle up with this many queer people on the streets!

Forget Route 66, this summer is clearly about Route 69.

Stay tuned for more revelations on the country’s gayest cities or see the pandemonium for yourself as Grindr charts its course throughout the rest of June.

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