Nico Tortorella has come out as gender-fluid with the help of RuPaul’s Drag Race season 9 queen Trinity “The Tuck” Taylor.
The queer actor, who has previously opened up about his non-binary sexuality, says they recently started using gender-neutral pronouns.
In a video produced by them., Taylor gives Tortorella a drag makeover and initiates the frank conversation by telling him: “You identify as gender-fluid.”
Related: PHOTOS: Nico Tortorella wore a white dress as he married his longtime lesbian partner
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Nico responds: “This isn’t actually anything that I’ve really talked about on a public level quite yet, but I just pretty recently have come to terms with the fact that maybe I’m not fully cisgender.”
“And what does that mean?” Nico continues. “I think the vocabulary for that is so wide right now and it’s like picking which word fits best.”
And Nico has a new one to add to the lexicon: Cissy. As in: “Kind of cisgender-ish, but like, a little soft.”
Repeating a claim they made in a previous interview, Nico adds:
“The most flack that I get from anything that I talk about, being bisexual or fluid, is from specifically white, cis, gay men.
“The trolls online love to just waste their time pounding away on keys.”
After Trinity finishes the makeover, Nico says “I feel beautiful.”
“You look gorgeous,” agreed Trinity.
DCguy
“And Nico has a new one to add to the lexicon: Cissy. As in: “Kind of cisgender-ish, but like, a little soft.”
————————-
It seems like they a white cisgender gay man but doesn’t want to be associated with it, so they’re claiming they aren’t because according to them they ARE cissgender….but….”a little soft”.
So according to them, anybody who shows a few feminine characteristics now should be forced to identify as something whether they feel that way or not?
And notice of course the part at the bottom where they attack white gay men saying they attack him more than anybody for being bisexual?
Two things.
1. Please point out how many gay men have tried to pass laws that would outlaw the bisexual lifestyle or prevent them from adopting, marrying etc…. So apparently trying to harm them and take away their civil rights doesn’t count as an “attack”.
2. Since online is anonymous, I find it interesting that they seem to know the race, gender, and identification of all of these people supposedly attacking them.
Donston
I thought he already came out as gender fluid? But then it became non-binary? Now, it’s gender fluid again? But also, it’s “cissy”?
The more he talks the more he really does just seem like a stereotypical white gay cis dude with the most minor of authentic romantic and sexual satisfaction/interest in women. But he resents his orientation, his race, his gender and masculinity in general so much that he’s desperate to dissociate from all of them. The biggest problem with Nico is that he doesn’t seem to be driven by the idea of embracing all of the dimensions of yourself and being honest about them but rather more driven by trying to distance himself from certain things, look for continuous affirmation from every aspect of the “queer community” and attach himself to certain “movements” that’ll give him a quick ego fix. He already doesn’t give a damn about hyping the bi or poly “movements” anymore. I don’t know if white cis gay men have been the ones who have gone at him the most. However, since he first “came out” he’s been railing against gay white men. He has unrelentingly man-hated, race-baited and used homo behavior for attention. If “white gay cis men” do represent the biggest portion of his “haters” you can’t really blame them on this one.
I mean, I get it. He’s clearly been through some sh*t, is still trying to find himself and is still trying to find self-comfort. But instead of confronting all the different things going on his head and all the different resentments he’s obviously contending with (with some professional assistance which he surely can afford), he just continues to play victim, attention whore and use indentity and movements to disguise hate. At this point everything’s already been said. It’s best to simply wish him good luck.
Paco
@Donston – He came out as sexually fluid before coming out as gender fluid as well.
drmiller
I am so over this guy… er, rather, person. Every single celebrity gets crap thrown at them regarding one thing or another. It comes with the territory. And since Nico has made LGBTQ+ subjects surround his image, that has become the target folks use for him. Im sick and tired of reading interviews with him where he plays the victim. The whole world doesn’t need to know your sexual or gender identity bud. Thats private information anyway, and if you get this sensitive about it, then just keep it to yourself. Otherwise, grow thicker skin and let the comments/“hate” go. You’re an attractive, white, famous and (I assume) wealthy American. There are people out there, particularly in the LGBTQ community, who have it MUCH worse than you do. And your constant prattling about bi, gay, in/our, gender, blah blah is just making you seem like the boy who cried wolf (or… the person who cried gay haha). I promise you, OUR community is sick and tired of hearing your nonsense. Get out of the media with this crap if you’re going to act all misunderstood every step of the way.
MonkeyMan
You don’t get any gold stars for dressing up and doing a glamorous photoshoot. I’m sorry, you just don’t.
Try being actually trans, as in having genuine genderdysphoria and living in a community or country where people want to kill you for who you are, and you can’t get a job because “you look weird” so you’re basically stuck with no where to go and nobody to talk to.
Nico, you aren’t helping any LGBT person with these vapid videos, or your endless revelations and grand realizations about your self that you confess in your books and on your podcast. All this accomplishes is showing that you have a lot of friends and connections in gay part of Hollywood, and that you have a lot of money.
It’s just a big egotrip and sadly nobody around you is honest with you.
Donston
It’s pretty obvious that like most Hollywood people he’s surrounded himself with individuals who indulge all his whining, narcissistic tics and general neediness, mainly d-listers, drag queens and porn performers. Therefore, he’s been able to avoid uncomfortable conversation and internal searching. While the “queer media” propping him up, exploiting his mania and not calling him out for his problematic comments and stances don’t help.
No one who has legitimate self-comfort and self-understanding and who is almost beyond their twenties is going to spend 2+ years constantly talking about their sense of self, alternating between around 20 or so different indentities, attaching themselves to every possible “movement” and constantly bything about “white cis gay men”. Like I said, the dude has obviously been through some stuff and is still going through it. But he needs to chill, because he’s biting the hand that feeds him.
queerty02
This guy seems like a huge narcissist. Kinda like a knock off Jared Leto. Keep it, darling.
Donston
I get that “finding yourself” and finding legitimate self-comfort and mental stability can a long-winded, frustrating kind of journey. But when you say so many problematic, inflammatory, ignorant and nonscensical things while at the same time trying to desperately be politically correct and you continuously go so far out of your way to get attention and to be seen as a victim, you just end up becoming tiresome and impossible to sympathize with.
All I know is that resenting “white cis gay men” (but also using them for fame and money) is not gonna get you closer to joy and self-comfort. Hell, half of white cis gay men hate each other and they’re no closer to it.
Paco
Good for zir.
Troyfight
^word.
Donston
It’s funny, because Nico used to make this kind of argument 3 or 4 years ago, and now we’re here.
This identity madness seems to be driven by a few different things: people who might have some attraction to their same gender or might want to hook up with someone of their gender every once in a while but don’t truly want to be with someone of their same gender- some of them resent that the “gays” get most of the “queer attention”. While some people who have whatever amount of dimension in their sense of gender but don’t genuinely feel trans or “queer-gendered” or don’t want to take up drag for real- they resent that those types get the attention. (Nico clearly has no real interest in becoming a drag queen, transitioning or truly indulging fem clothes and make-up outside of red carpets, Instagram and photo ops). While there are people who do want to authentically be with someone of their same gender but wish to desperately avoid being “branded” as gay, not realizing that most don’t equate “gay” to homosexual but simply someone who can only be genuinely satisfied and fulfilled romantically and sexually with someone of their gender. It’s all eqauted to a bunch of label prattling.
The whole “queer movement”, at least on the social media front, has become less about inclusion, honesty and diversity and more about whining, wanting to feel unique, wanting to “join the club” in some capacity and old-hat things like internalized homophobia, self-misandry, self-misogyny, having a convoluted ego, needing constant affirmation from others and/or still dealing with the remnants of past traumas.
It all is what it is at this point.
dash_board1
‘While there are people who do want to authentically be with someone of their same gender but wish to desperately avoid being “branded” as gay, not realizing that most don’t equate “gay” to homosexual but simply someone who can only be genuinely satisfied and fulfilled romantically and sexually with someone of their gender. It’s all eqauted to a bunch of label prattling.’
@Donston, wait, what? Since when is the word ‘gay’ not a synonym for homosexual? How is someone who is only sexually attracted to the same sex not homosexual/gay? These are the definitions of the words. I am genuinely confused by your statement.
Donston
I don’t know what your obsession is with making sure only people who are absolutely 100% inherently homo ever identify as “gay”. But it’s lame and needs to stop. It actually seems driven by genuine “bi-phobia”, a term I used to think was ridic. “Gay” has never been much of a technical term. It’s always been broad and thrown around by everyone to describe almost everything. That is, until 100 different terms and labels became popular for both the good and (as we see with Nico) for the bad. As I mentioned in a recent article, I would guess that almost 50% of gay-identifying people are not absolutely, 100% inherently homo. While more than 50% of people are bi in some way or another no matter their identity or “lifestyles”. These are things you and the “bi pride” community are gonna have to get comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable with it then start referring to yourself as homosexual as opposed to “gay”. Or how about we just put less emphasis on words and phrases and allow people to find their own comfort and their own lives? All this label peddling and absolutes is partly why someone like Nico is as mixed up and attention desperate as he is.
DCguy
Mic Drop
Donston
That is what boggles me, even as a millennial. The same things people are doing now and the same internal struggles people have were all going on 50+ years ago. There just wasn’t social media or fifty thousand different identities. Nico seems as if he wants to be treated like both some groundbreaking icon as well as treated like a martyr all because he admits to doing guys sometimes and rocks a skirt for photo ops.
Finding yourself and finding legitimate self-comfort and stability can be a long-winded and frustrating journey. But spending several years leaning on social media fan boys/girls and a bunch of different sections of sociology, while blaming all of your problems on “white gay cis men” and the general pressures of masculinity- it just isn’t the best way to go about things. The sooner a “queer person” figures that out the better. Because, although most don’t end up being this extreme, especially around age 30, a lot of people fall into similar traps instead of truly confronting some stuff.
Donston
Honestly, if this guy didn’t seem to resent men, gay men and masculinity so much he would still be annoying and pretentious but would be far less problematic. And these were issues with his image when he first came out. So, he can’t blame most gay men for being indifferent or annoyed or “internet haters” for whatever he’s been through and whatever resentments and struggles he has in his head. Like too many “queers” he seems more driven by bitterness, fear and narcissism than anything else. And that is the biggest problem with him wanting to be a “queer icon”. He has some issues to work out that he can’t just put on “cis white gay men”.