Actor Nico Tortorella has never been one to shy away from showing the world his truest self, and the bisexual star has now gone public with his marriage to longtime partner Bethany Meyers, a fitness professional, and a self-identifying gay woman.
For the last 11 years, the couple have been in a polyamorous relationship.
On Instagram, Tortorella shared some photos from the big day along with the caption “Just married. For real.”
The actor wore a flowy white dress at the ceremony, adding some fun genderbending realness to the joyous occasion.
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The couple explained the aesthetic to Them:
“the looks are everything we’ve ever dreamed of. genderbending ensembles designed by our dear friend andrew morrison. timeless androgynous paraphernalia mimicking romanesque sculpture that fluidly blends masculine and feminine. in this relationship, we both wear the pants and the dress. we put on our faces and machinery, finally topping each other off in crowns. duh, we wore crowns. not for the gag of it all, but because it feels like something we’ve done in the past, so we had to keep the tradition alive. in this life’s iteration, this is, in fact, our royal wedding.”
They also shared this message of love to the inevitable haters out there:
Here we are, the day I dreamed of yet not the day I imagined, and I couldn’t be happier. Plenty won’t understand it, something I’m gradually learning to accept. For others, it will help open their eyes to different ways to love. And for some, our story will make them feel less alone. It will give them strength to ask for the things they want and need in a partner. As traditional as we may appear on the outside, we are far from it on the inside.
Scroll through some shots from the ceremony below:
Ari Gold
Maybe it’s just me, but all I see when I look at Nick is attention whore.
Xzamilloh
This is LAME
As in Look At Me, Everyone!!!
NateOcean
Look at me, look at me. Look at Me!
What you you looking at? Stop looking at me!
No, wait, Look at Me!
LABrad
Of course he’s an attention whore. But even so, you have to applaud anyone who makes a mockery out of the words “wedding” and “marriage”.
[email protected]
this would have been interesting & innovative in 1972 – but 46 years later, it’s just tiresome…
He BGB
Why get married? To take all these pics of yourself? Many think it’s a big party and be a princess for a day and the next day you’re unfortuneately MARRIED FOR LIFE. Yikes! This looks like they used something sacred to get attention. Sorry.
Crystix
Married for life. I’m gonna guess you grew up Catholic. People get married for lots of reasons. The marriage equality debate should have settled that we all get our noses out of others marriages and keep our judgements to ourselves.
As a gay man, you want a lesbian as your wife – so be it. That’s how I was born. #justsayin
Sam6969
It is always refreshing to see various illustrations of non-binary marriages. I love that guy.
nm4047
the actor, who is Nico Tortorella and what has he been in? that most non tabloid reading/watching people would know
miserylovedme24
He was on the Fox show The Following a few years back. And Younger, a show with Hilary Duff.
Cylest Brooks
Hi miserylovedme24. I’m just popping in here to let you know that I deleted your other comment on this thread, as it violated our Comments Policy.
Please take a moment to review the recently updated policy here: https://www.queerty.com/queertys-comment-policy
Thanks!
Donston
While what miserylovedme24 said was borderline offensive, if you’re a woman who identifies as a lesbian but you end up marrying a non trans man (even though I wouldn’t be surprised if this wasn’t even a legal marriage) you can’t continue to call yourself a lesbian. Go with bi or queer or something else.
This further highlights that no matter what someone’s identity is or the dimensions of their orientation, non-closeted people who have unabashed and unembarrassed desire, passion, romantic feelings and committal instincts towards their same gender will never be comparable to other types of people. There’s typically a different mindset, different sociology and sometimes a different type of orientation. It’s just not close to the same thing. It’s one of the reasons I no longer felt comfortable identifying as bi.
Sam6969
Donston: “non-closeted people who have unabashed and unembarrassed desire, passion, romantic feelings and committal instincts towards their same gender will never be comparable to other types of people”
Wow, such as sense of superiority…
Also, Bethany defines herself as a lesbian AND queer:
“Even though Meyers identifies as gay, she embraces the queer label and shared that Tortorella is the only man she can imagine having a relationship with.“
Source: http://people.com/tv/nico-tortorella-queer-family-lesbian-partner/
Cj.
Do I really need to care about this? Just how important is this supposed to be?
Phil H
Saw the headline, decided to click on the link, decided to read the article and look at the pictures, then decided to comment. The first step was arguably unavoidable when you visited the website, the other three? Those are on you and you apparently cared enough to do them,
Donston
I’ve come around to respecting everyone’s “queerness” as well as the spectrum of sexuality, love and sense of gender, including my own. But I can’t forget that this dude said some relatively homophobic, man-hating and even racist stuff when he initially “came out”. People like to conveniently forget that. While ultimately, he just comes off as another person who has used identity, lifestyle and social media whoring to settle some internal problems rather than actually confront his issues. He could have actually been an important mouthpiece for “queers”. But instead of focusing on real issues and giving real insight all he has done is get naked, promote polygamy and do endless photo shoots, including this one. But good luck to them.
Cylest Brooks
I don’t know that I’d go so far as to say he doesn’t focus on “real issues”… mostly because it directly counters your previous statement that you respect everyone’s queerness. But aside from that, I agree with you in some respects. It can be really hard to find value in folks who have been problematic in the past, even if the thing they are doing is valuable. I’m not sure how valuable Nico can really be anymore, based on the things he’s said… I really struggle to separate them in my mind.
Donston
He’s said a ton of contradictory things. He said some vaguely racist stuff. He seems to resent men and masculinity. As far as I know he’s only had one semi legit relationship with a non cis woman, and I don’t think it lasted for even several months. Yet, he used and still uses that supposed relationship to get as much press and social media attention as possible. Despite constantly talking about his fluidity and complexity he hasn’t been upfront about the dimensions of his orientation. And he hasn’t brought any real and serious issues to the table.
He probably would have been better off speaking his truth and talking about self-understanding instead of attaching himself to lgbtq primarily for the sake of self-promotion. Everything seems like a big showcase to him, and everything he does seems like an opportunity for a photo op. And yes, those things he initially said and never apologized for or clarified are still at the forefront of my mind whenever there’s a new article about whatever attention grabbing thing he’s said or done.
Donston
Also, in these pics he looks like a fratboy rocking a toga dress. Female clothes and a more fem persona have never seemed as if it comes natural to him. Like so much of what he’s said and shown it just comes off forced and awkward and dress up.
Sam6969
Hi Donston, I am not aware of the homophobic and racist stuff you are talking about. Can you give me a link?
Donston
He did an interview with The New Yorker that I think is still online and another with I believe Glamour where he said just said a ton of ridiculous stuff. He’s said a lot of ridic stuff, but in a few interviews he’s really gone to town. He claimed black guys aren’t as “complex” as white guys and can only be straight or gay. He claimed most gay men are closed-minded. He underhandedly suggested that more men who have homo dominant orientations should still try to be with a woman and that it is the more emotionally healthy option. He claimed that having sex and relationships with multiple genders isn’t really about attraction, desire, passion, romantic feelings, etc. for him but merely about liking to “feel different people’s energy”. He told a story about hooking up with a guy, and it sounded as if he used a friend that he knew was closeted and fragile for sex and quickly discarded him, leaving the guy devastated. There was a stretch where he was coming off as the biggest douche. It seems like he’s polished his image and is more careful with his words and what he reveals.
I could forgive it all or at least put aside all of that if he actually legitimately helped the “non-binary” and “bi-guy” cause. For example, some men with certain amounts of gender dis-morphia or “gender fluidity” may have orientations that develop more like a female’s. And therefore, their sexuality is more comparable to a lesbian or gay-leaning woman. However, some of these types of guys (many in fact) have orientations that are more like a straight or straight-leaning woman’s orientation. Therefore, they may have some type of attraction and/or arousal towards some women sometimes and may enjoy being emotionally and/or sexually connected to a woman. But they can’t really experience genuine and long-term romantic and sexual satisfaction with a woman. These kind of things often leads to years of confusion, frustration and/or self-denial or to just to a lot of contradictions within your sense of self and in your romantic and sexual instincts.
This is the kind of stuff Nico and his girl should be revealing and reveling in and helping people understand. Not constantly promoting polygamy, porn performers, new photo shoots and whining about people “hating” on them. He tried to be the face of non-binary and male bisexuality. But he failed miserably. Like I said, he would have been better off just saying he fvcks around with non cis women sometimes and doesn’t always feel like a male and kept it pushing from there, instead of trying to be a mouthpiece.
Donston
Correction: one of the interviews was with New York Magazine not The New Yorker.
Sam6969
Wow, you made so many definitive statements in your comments…
You resent him a lot, don’t you? He does not fit your expectations on queerness, love, sexuality and how he should be advocating for LGBTQ.
He has flaws and rifts like any of us, but I think it is a good guy, who himself had to deal with identity issues in his childhood. (source: https://pridesource.com/article/81646-2/). He said he was abandoned by his father and uncle. According to him, it clearly influenced the way he got attracted to men and the fact he is not as emotionally connected to them, in general, as he could be with women. Then, it makes him a bisexual man, more leaning towards women. He said it all, very clearly, even if he is still exploring himself and healing (he followed therapies). He keeps reinventing himself or, at least, does his best to go in that direction. In this particular way, he can be an inspiration.
Btw, in your above comment, you kinda mix sexual identity and sexual orientation, which are disconnected, as you may know. (“some men with certain amounts of gender dis-morphia or “gender fluidity” may have orientations that develop more like a female’s”)
“they can’t really experience genuine and long-term romantic and sexual satisfaction with a woman”
Again, it is a definitive statement, one among many of yours. Basically, almost each single sentence in your comments.
You really like clear cut, well-defined, categories, don’t you? The fact he might be sincere, but still in the process of searching and questioning himself, did not seem to occur to you. He is an adult, so he should know better, right?
Do you know that sexual orientation and gender roles are largely influenced by the environment (culture, society, family, friends, etc.) in our childhood? So, most of us are LGBTQ or straight, largely because of our environment. Personal wounds account in the way our sexual orientation is built, as well. He is not different as many of us. There is not a good way of becoming (in the constructivist approach) gay, bisexual, queer or whatever. That’s what is beautiful in our diversity, plenty of factors have made what we are and a big part of our journey is to accept that reality, as it is (whatever painful our personal childhood story was). It does not mean, we cannot push our limits forward and see if we can remove personal inner barriers. Sure, a specific childhood can create dysfunctional people in the relationship department, but the way they creatively respond to the challenge is what is interesting and inspiring.
Nico Tortorella is creative and I am sure he inspires some people. From what I see, I find him refreshing in this judgmental world…
A few quotes from him:
“I really like the term bisexual, and I fall somewhere under the umbrella that is bisexuality. I use the word bisexual because people have fought for so long for this word and the fact that it even exists in part of the LGBTI-et cetera is just a beautiful thing, and I’m not gonna be the person to take, like, fluidity or emotional fluidity or pansexual. I’m comfortable somewhere under the bisexual label, and I’m proud of it.”
Source: https://pridesource.com/article/81646-2/
The above article is really enlightening.
“I’m not this grrrr sexual person that is on the prowl. I never have been,” he explains. “I think I’ve had, like, two one-night stands in my entire life.”
Source: http://www.vulture.com/2016/10/nico-tortorella-younger-c-v-r.html
About Bethany Meyers and your statement about her not being lesbian:
“Even though Meyers identifies as gay, she embraces the queer label and shared that Tortorella is the only man she can imagine having a relationship with.“
Source: http://people.com/tv/nico-tortorella-queer-family-lesbian-partner/
Captain Obvious
Something about this article makes Rachel Dolezal seems like a normal well adjusted woman.
JamJewel
I completely agree with you: I just don’t get them. But after several versions of a response, I realize it’s none of my business and basically, they come across as media whores since we don’t know whether this was a legal marriage or theater, or whether they will continue to sleep around, which is obviously their definition of ‘polyamorous’ based on other interviews they have given on the subject.
Donston
Yes, they aren’t even properly repping for the “poly crowd”. Neither seem interested in acquiring a bf or gf, just going out fvcking whoever whenever. It’s an “open” relationship not poly.
I’ve pretty said all I have to say about Nico. I think it’s time we all moved on. It’s also time for Nico to move on since getting “married” (with no friends or family around) is about the apex of what he can get out of this. Though unfortunately, he’ll come up with another way garner attention.
Sam6969
“I’m not this grrrr sexual person that is on the prowl. I never have been,” he explains. “I think I’ve had, like, two one-night stands in my entire life.”
Source: http://www.vulture.com/2016/10/nico-tortorella-younger-c-v-r.html
And what makes you think he has necessarily sexual activities in all of his polyamorous relationships ?
Donston: “I’ve pretty said all I have to say about Nico. I think it’s time we all moved on”
Wow…it is time WE ALL moved on? So, you said everything about him and therefore, we all must stop talking about him, as well? Okay…
Kangol
In a piece featured on New York Magazine’s Vulture site, Tortorella said things like: “I’ll never know what it feels like to be a black man. Asian. Anything, really. White men are genderless and raceless because they’ve never had to think about it.” Uh, nope.
And: “Ultimately, in my fluidity, at the end of the day I never could see myself marrying a man….I could never see myself having kids with a man. I don’t even like hanging out with dudes for the most part.”
And: “I am the Future Man.” Yeah, OK, like a confused Nietzsche-lite.
Donston
Although he had said some ridiculous stuff beforehand that’s the interview that made me realize he was nutso and probably needed to get into a therapist’ office real quick instead of using his identities and sexual behavior for self-promotion.
Donston
I will defend him somewhat. The man hate, unrelenting narcissism, ego-mania, sense of entitlement and convoluted sense of self makes him come off exactly like someone who suffered from abuse and never legitimately and healthily confronted those issues. More reason to get to a therapist’ office asap and off of Instagram.
Sam6969
It is better to read the whole article. Here is where the quote in Vulture is taken:
“I’ve just been constantly let down by men in my life,” he says. “My dad left. My uncle, who was my best friend in the entire world, who raised me, who taught me everything I know about what it is to be a man, he left, too, without telling anybody. Just one day disappeared. The women in my life have always been there. Always. I’m a thousand times more connected to women in general than I am to men.”
He says it’s why he sees himself with a woman even though he has dated men, and why he identifies more with the feminine than the masculine. In that way, his identity is less flexible than he’d like it to be. “Ultimately, in my fluidity, at the end of the day I never could see myself marrying a man,” he said. “I could never see myself having kids with a man. I don’t even like hanging out with dudes for the most part.”
It still falls under the bisexual and queer umbrella. The fact he is not the perfect example of a 50/50 bisexual (at all levels), does not mean he cannot be an inspiration for some people.
Sam6969
Donston, you are so perfect. Obviously, you healed yourself completely and reached the highest levels of maturity, as you, now, know every single inch of yourself. A model of a man you are…and a model of a same-sex couple, as well! Cannot wait to see you on TV to show us (LGBTQ) the right way! 😉
Donston
Actually, I’m not perfect. I still got sh*t to work on. But I have worked through a lot and I do have some legit insight. I’m just tired of the whole lgbtq “movement” covering real issues up with sex and narcissism. And Nico is a prime example of that. We’re supposed to like this douche-y pretentious dude just because he says he hooks up with guys sometimes and is “non-binary” and has used these things to get himself endles publicity? I’m sorry that I’m not easily won over by supposed “subversiveness” as you are. This dude has done nothing for anyone’s cause except his own desire for attention. And yes, he does show signs of someone who has been through certain things and perhaps is still going through them. But instead of discussing these types of uncomfortable topics let’s discuss a likely fake wedding/photo op and someone’s latest shirtless photo shoot. I’m just over the bull and over feeling forced to indulge everyone else’s bull instead of talking about real sh*t.
Donston
Finally, I don’t care who someone dates or their identity. But if you want to be the “Future Man” and you want to be the face of non-binary and male bisexuality and give endless interviews about it and have it dominate your social media then you need to offer real insight and gravitas not merely endless half-naked photo shoots and chatter about liking different people’s energy and how you wish your haters would go away. I’m sorry I don’t get off on guys like this as much as you do.
Sam6969
You have insights and he has insights, except you are in different paradigms, so you both focus on different things. For instance, when he talks about feeling and connecting to people’s energies rather than only gender characteristics, it is something that passes over the top of your head. Sure, feeling and sensing are not intellectual concepts easy to theorize. Of course, he has issues that make him not as free and open, as he would like to be, but he has insights worth sharing on the matter. In other threads, you talk a lot about the importance of having a strong identity with a fixed orientation, while he advocates the idea of not dwelling on identities and just focus on behaviors and feelings. You clearly are in two different paradigms. So, when he and his wife show pictures conveying their state of mind, creativity and feelings, then you only see narcissism.
He is one of the rare males to share candidly his insights on non-binary bisexuality in the media, which is commendable in itself. It requires ease, talent and charisma, but in compensation, he is clearly a narcissist and quite an exhibitionist. It is still worth sharing his views on gender roles, emotional and sexual fluidity both artistically, in the media and podcasts. Personally, it does not bother me and I do not make any fixation on it (it may be even quite charming), since I think the message he is sending out is more important than the rest. Sure, he cannot address it to anybody and those who can get the message will get it.
You say he does not focus on “real” issues about “non-binary and male bisexuality”. What are those real issues? If you read his interviews, he gives plenty of insights about his specific bisexuality and particularly why he is more emotionally connected to women than men. He talks about his childhood and the difficulties to find queer models in his extended family. In his podcast, he talks about “the importance of labels and the unimportance of labels, for [exploring sexuality as a human condition].” (source: https://pridesource.com/article/81646-2/)
There are plenty of materials in his interviews and podcasts to understand the issues of being a non-binary bisexual. To be receptive of it, it is important to stop focusing on his narcissism 😉
Donston
I actually have listened to a few of his podcasts and have read quite a few of his interviews. He mostly spouts cliched, vague, Twitter ready sayings and hides behind other people’s details and life stories. He speaks of fluidity and being non-binary in the most generic, intangible and pretentious of ways. I have some fluidity within my orientation and in my sense of gender. So, we’re not completely on opposite ends.
He’s not interested in having a real romantic relationship with anyone who’s not a cis woman (and yes, his girl is a cis woman). And he has made that clear. So, constantly (and I do mean constantly) hyping up his bi indentity seems more like a sociological and media ploy than anything else. And while I respect his non-binary identity his feminity and every-so-blue-moon wearing chick clothes comes off as forced and like he’s merely making sure people embrace him as non-binary. His statements on race, gay men, men in general, relationships, etc. have often been problematic, sometimes ignorant and hints that he still is dealing with some sh*t and is still in the process of learning. And that’s fine. We all are. But he seems very disinterested in actually “going there”. He wishes to keep everything light and pop-friendly. So, instead of focusing on giving people real insight he simply clings to labels and cliches. His overall image and words is too sexualized, too narcissistic, too vague and too attention-whoring for him to offer real insight and answers for people who need them. It’s all about pleasing people who would already like someone like and embrace him. It seems all about marketing himself and making himself feel good about his way of life rather than having anything to do with educating people or giving real insight.
I just think as a “community” we’ve evolved past this. If we’re gonna have real conversations about the spectrum, sense of gender, lifestyle, etc. then we need to start getting real.
Donston
Finally, anyone who flat-out says, “I know I’m not gay because I mostly hang out with women” (as if orientation and your social group are always directed correlated) clearly has some hardcore issues and shouldn’t be someone people looking for insight on fluidity and non-binary should go to. Never mind all the other problematic things he’s said and done.
Donston
I’ve always been okay with orientation being seen as something about the dimension and degrees of your romantic, sexual and emotional instincts, attractions, passions and satisfactions. But to make it entirely about sociology is absurd. So, all dudes who mostly hang out with dudes can’t be straight? There’s just too many ridiculous things this dude has served up.
Sam6969
« Finally, anyone who flat-out says, “I know I’m not gay because I mostly hang out with women” (as if orientation and your social group are always directed correlated) clearly has some hardcore issues […]”
Donston, you keep up with your habits of reporting people without mentioning (precisely) your sources, so we can read the text or replay the tape in context and reply accordingly. Considering what I already read, I too just can say, without mentioning sources, he just meant it on the emotional and romantic level. Aside from your fault-finding attitude, you also, as usual, talk in terms of absolutes and definitive statements: “anyone who […] has hardcore issues”, “ultimately”, “legit relationship”, etc.:
Donston: “But ultimately, if you would rather have a legit relationship with a man and you can feel some sexual satisfaction, romantic love and romantic passion towards a dude saying you’re a “lesbian” is ridiculous.”
Actually, Bethany says she is a queer lesbian in a polyamorous relationship and she found in Tortorella her soul mate. She also says she cannot imagine having a relationship with another man, while she still can fall in love with different women. I already quoted her before, but clearly you did not read it or conveniently put it aside to fit the portrait you brush of them.
sources:
-http://people.com/tv/nico-tortorella-queer-family-lesbian-partner/
– https://www.them.us/story/inside-nico-tortorella-and-bethany-meyers-private-epic-wedding)
Donston: “[…]they can’t really experience genuine and long-term romantic and sexual satisfaction […]This is the kind of stuff Nico and his girl should be revealing and reveling in and helping people understand”
Again, you speak in terms of absolutes, as if you knew what is good for people and knew all and everything about everyone. You clearly still do not understand what a polyamorous relationship is, when several people complete each other’s needs.
Bethany Meyer put it more clearly: ““So many people have this idea that if you can love this, you cannot love this,” she adds. “And I don’t understand, because I do. I can have feelings for two people. There are different kinds of feelings, they fulfill different needs. I don’t find it very realistic to think that I’m going to get everything I need out of Nico.”” (source: https://www.them.us/story/inside-nico-tortorella-and-bethany-meyers-private-epic-wedding)
You know, following your take on the world and a perfectly aligned (at all levels) relationship, it would be better for you to be with a woman, since it would fit physically better and be more satisfying. Your argument is what I have already heard from homophobic people trying to belittle gay men on the fact we would never experience the perfection of a sexual and emotional relationship with a woman. It proceeds with the same logic. Sure, it is always possible to find a better form to express Love… and still, love and happiness can be there, whatever the form of our relationship (with two, three or more people, whatever their genders). If it means something for you and not for someone else, then who cares?
For analytical people like you, I understand the podcasts themselves can be seen as a shallow chatter, not analytical enough on the personal, psychological and sociological aspects of relationships, alter sexualities, labels, etc. Yet, it appeals to an audience, likely because it feeds them on a different level.
The underlying message to those exchanges is love and confidence about being whoever they are. It helps some (young) people normalize what they live, potentially lift persisting doubts and emotionally connect to others living similar things. It speaks to their heart and broadens their outlook on what is possible. The podcasts are more in the realm of feelings and symbols than in the realm of intellect. It does not feel real for you, but it is for them and others.
Donston: “I just think as a “community” we’ve evolved past this.”
The community is neither uniform nor evenly evolved. That perfect community is in your mind and there is no need to shame people for not being as intellectually and emotionally accomplished as you think you are. It is just not something for you. However, interviews are more analytical and deal more with “real” issues, but it still is not enough to your standards.
They say they did not plan a polyamorous relationship and did not make this up for fame. It is actually also a mystery for them and they just let that happen:
“If you had to label it, Nico and I are in a queer polyamorous relationship. Labels that help people understand, but not labels that define us. Most think we planned this and one day decided we would be multiple-love kind of people. We didn’t. It’s just the way our relationship developed over 12 years. We became polyamorous without ever really trying, and we let each other go so often; I guess we finally realized it’s the reason we are impenetrable. It’s hard to break something that bends. » Bethany, source : https://www.them.us/story/inside-nico-tortorella-and-bethany-meyers-private-epic-wedding
Nevertheless, it is obviously true Tortorella thought he could be a supporting voice in the media, helping people see differently the range of possibilities in love relationships.
You clearly have little tolerance to inconsistencies and even if you state the opposite, the fact they clearly say they are still experiencing and searching for their bearings weigh little on your definitive, squared judgment.
Nico Tortorella: ““We’re still figuring out the best way we can bring other people into our relationship,” he agrees. “I think we’re in the best place now [that] we’ve ever been, but we’re definitely still on an amateur level.” Then he urges, “If anybody is reading this and wants to give us some advice, and has been living this way for a long time, seriously, we’re sponges! We’re so down to hear stories because these stories aren’t told often.” (source: https://www.advocate.com/current-issue/2017/7/05/what-queer-family-looks?pg=4#article-content=
The fact they are open about this is part of what makes their issues, insights and social contribution real.
P.S.: Nico Tortorella is not wearing « chick clothes » (as you put it) for his marriage, but an androgynous ensemble or a genderbending outfit, composed of a pant and dress/gown, just like Bethany.
masteradrian031
Perhaps it sounds ridicoulous, but what is special about men wearing gowns or dresses? Millions of men wear gowns or dresses all around the world, and no one mentions them as being weird or special! Tortorella wears a dress, so what? Why then he is referred to as a weirdo, or an attention-seeker? Perhaps more men should do what he did, and break up the stigma of men wearing gowns or dressese! Instead of being forced to wear smoking, tail-jackets or whatever is “accepted”! He obvious is a free soul, doing what he wants and when he wants it! And as to polimory, what’s wrong with that? Loving other people while in a relation is normal! Having sexual relations beside the one you’re having a relation with is something human, stop being hypocrite, considering that most if not all love fantasizing about what to do with and to another man while you’re in a relation1
Donston
My issues with this dude is not connected to him being a polygamist or that he decided to awkwardly rock a dress or his orientation. He’s said and done a ton of troubling, annoying and attention whoring things beyond that. And those things are pretty well detailed in the comment section.
Sam6969
Too bad I could not find the original sources, which certainly exist, but the way you report his interviews, mixing his words and your interpretations, is a bit annoying. For instance: “He told a story about hooking up with a guy, and it sounded as if he used a friend that he knew was closeted and fragile for sex and quickly discarded him, leaving the guy devastated.”
It could be true, but it is still your interpretation. Admittedly, I would not be surprised to discover he is heart-breaker, as he does not seem to engage himself emotionally very deeply with men. It can be so frustrating for the partner, if you are not in the same mindset.
From what you wrote, the only thing a bit border-line is what you reported, as him saying: “black guys aren’t as “complex” as white guys and can only be straight or gay”
If it is true, then it would be interesting to understand what he meant exactly and think of it, now.
It could be that he meant black people, in general, are culturally more influenced (due to a stronger pressure in their community) to become straight and therefore, indirectly, if they do not fit, they subconsciously fall in the polar opposite: ‘gay”. It may be a bit of a stretch and clumsy, but it is not in itself racist.
Felecia
Did I mistakenly think that marriage is private and between two people, no matter what they identify as, here in America..? And since nobody is required by law any longer to have an entourage of ‘marriage-bed witnesses’ -not in the last century, anyway- whose business is it if this couple have no sex, lol…or manage to have MORE than any of us? The point here is that whatever one prefers is now legal as long as both parties are non-blood-related consenting adults. Something we LGBTQ’s fought hard for, and now that we have it…why rip it to shreds from within our own ranks? Shame on all of you who think you have the right to dictate someone else’s relationship. How quickly you forget that less than five years ago, NONE of us could marry, lol….nice to know that hypocrites are alive and well in LGBTQ America; I feel warned, lol…..Congrads, happy couple. Your wedding looks beautiful……:)
Hotspot
I’m so confused, if she’s with a man, she isn’t a lesbian. Like, unless it’s some kind of thing where she just wants to be married to anyone, and they don’t do anything sexual.. than that’s one thing.. but if she likes him and stuff, she isn’t gay. I don’t get why she’d identify as gay, if she is bi/pan/straight.
kent25
LMFAO!!!!! Can you say attention Whores. So two Bisexuals get married. What problem i have is the chick calling herself a lesbian. It’s people like that is why people don’t understand what the LGBTQ is. Why people don’t know the difference between a homosexual and a bisexual and apparently a heterosexual
Donston
I guess she feels she’s mostly sexually attracted to women and into women sexually. So, she’s a “lesbian”. But ultimately, if you would rather have a legit relationship with a man and you can feel some sexual satisfaction, romantic love and romantic passion towards a dude saying you’re a “lesbian” is ridiculous. Why are still we scared of terms like: gay-leaning, straight-leaning, bi-romantic, homo-romantic, etc. ?
Two physically male and female people who (maybe) have sexual orientations that are gay-leaning being a couple is nothing new. It’s not at all a-typical. But they act as if they are breaking the mold. I could respect their hustle if they kept it real, weren’t so pretentious and obsessed with attention, weren’t always naked or wearing ridiculous clothes and weren’t constantly playing victims.
Kenney G
I’m pretty sure two bisexuals getting married is nothing new. Why is this important to the gay community? when they start having one of there famous threesomes and someone gets killed that will be news not this