Poor Lindsay Lohan. The paps may love her, but the Sapphic-seeming actress can't catch a break with her fellow celebrities, including the far less fabulous Chace Crawford:

…As super-pregnant M.I.A. performed at the Diesel XXX party in Dumbo, Lindsay Lohan desperately tried to get the attention of Chace Crawford. Lohan, who launched her 6126 line at Henri Bendel last night, pulled on the "Gossip Girl" boy's shirt and grabbed his shoulder, but "Crawford was more interested in talking with Taylor Momsen," our spy said.

Lohan got dissed again at Madonna's Madison Square Garden show Sunday when Madge gave Kelly Ripa her mike during her rendition of "Give It to Me" instead of to the rehabbed starlet, who was standing next to Ripa in the front row.

At least Lilo's always got Sam Ronson, right?

Right-wing non-profit Eagle Forum's Executive Director Colleen Holmes needs a pair of eagle eyes herself!

Holmes and homo-journo Jack Jett exchanged a number of emails earlier this month as the two attempted to coordinate an interview for Jett's new radio show. Jett wanted to discuss Holmes' work with the Forum, which was founded by Phyllis Schlafly in 1967, and has been especially virulent in their battle against feminist and gay rights.

Though Holmes originally agreed to be interviewed - and after much back and forth - Holmes at the last minute backed out, citing scheduling problems. The conservative activist apologized profusely and even joked that she didn't want to be seen as "pulling a McCain," a reference to Republican presidential candidate John McCain's threats to skip last week's presidential debate against John McCain. And, in addition to this sorry email, Holmes accidentally included a tactical note to an unidentified ally.

It is definitely not for the children…

CONTINUED »

All that eyeliner's gone to Clay Aiken's head! The Spam-a-lot star turned demon diva during a recent Newsweek interview, particularly when the journo brought up that Kelly Ripa rumble:

What about the Kelly Ripa thing?
I’m not going to discuss it.

Did you think it was homophobic?
I’m not going to discuss it.

What do you want to talk about?
I think we’re done.

Can we talk about something fun?
No, we’re done. I thought Newsweek would be more reputable. I’m surprised.

But I think people are curious about it.
It was a year ago. This is Newsweek. It’s not the National Enquirer. I’d hate to have a job where I had to be rude to people.

We’re just having a conversation.
Change the subject! I’d never take a job where I had to do something that I didn’t want to do.

What about all those Ford commercials on American Idol?
That wasn’t a job.

It was part of your job.
It wasn’t a Ford commercial. It was a music video. It was a completely different thing..

Aiken also says that he doesn't watch Idol, because it's like "high school football" and he doesn't need to "keep going to the football games." You sure, don't Clay…

CNN's Anderson Cooper crossed from cable to network when he took Regis Philbin's place on this morning's Regis & Kelly.

Perky and bright-eyed, the gray haired wonder gabbed about his encounter with a group of drunk girls, which he then proceeds to imitate. Rather than engaging the intoxicated youth, the 40-year old New York did what he always does when faced with strange interactions: he pretended to talk on his Blackberry.

Cooper's plan would have worked out swimmingly had the ladies recognized him. Unfortunately, they didn't and one asked, drunkenly, "Were you on a nature show?" The Coop attempted to thwart their inquisition with his imaginary phone call, which he finally aborted when the brazen babes mistook him for John McEnroe. Coop proceeded to fag out: "I was insulted… John McEnroe is like fifty!" Girl, we would have flipped, too.

Don't worry, Coop fans, Anderson got the last laugh: he stole their cab.

Meanwhile, Cooper doesn't appreciate Kelly Ripa's touch.

Because we know you faggots and friends of faggots love that alleged faggot, Anderson Cooper, we'd like to direct you over to Gawker. Once there, you'll find a video from the Coop's morning guest-stint with Kelly Ripa. Apparently Regis Philbin's out getting some surgery on a body part we've never heard of - a heart, or something.

No matter, the Gawksters describe the video clip as the "gayest moment alive". Hmm, we're not sure if moment's really have life force but, again, we wouldn't know anything about such biological matters. We will agree, however, that it's pretty gay. Also, Kelly Ripa totally doesn't give a fuck.

We all prefer to match our fetching mustard Izod Ts with new Pumas instead of ugly, discolored teeth. So if you suffer from embarrassingly stained teeth, it's time to look into getting those suckers whitened. Here's how:

Skip the messy Crest White Strips and go straight for the toothpaste whitener. We like SuperSmile. Sure its almost 20 bucks a tube, but if its good enough for America's sweetheart Kelly Ripa, it's good enough for us. A much cheaper (and more natural) way to go is Tom's of Maine.

Or, let's say your coffee and cigarette habits rivals that of Britney Spears but your choppers don't. The girl can afford to have those pearly whites bleached and if you have a thousand bucks, so can you. There are several options including conventional or laser bleaching. Both involve trips to the dentist. Laser bleaching gives you the best improvement in the shade of your teeth but it's also the costliest procedure. Laser-free Britesmile is more affordable, gives you great results, and the price includes free before and after photos for you to take home. Woo-hoo.

Tooth whitening is safe but it's not for everyone! Check with your your dentist.