You’re A Mean One: 10 Anti-Gay Grinches Who Tried To Steal 2012

Well, we made it to Christmas Day 2012 in one piece, relatively speaking. But we’re not gonna lie, folks: It was touch-and-go there for a while. There were plenty of meanies who wanted to snatch equality right from under us and drag it into the gutter.  So, as the world over celebrates a joyous noel, we’re taking a hot second to recall ten Grinches who tried to steal 2012—and nearly succeeded.

Sadly, unlike Dr. Seuss’ wicked holiday figure, these guys’ hearts didn’t double in size. (If anything, they got smaller and even more bitter.)

Click through to check out Queerty’s Top 10 Grinches Who Tried to Steal 2012! 


Dan Cathy

Chick-fil-A‘s Dan Cathy

You’re a Mean One: For your vehement opposition to marriage equality, for blatantly lying about stopping donations to anti-gay groups, and for your restaurants’ tireless efforts in making America fatter than it already is.

Stocking Stuffer: The gift of obesity and clogged arteries via a year’s supply of Chick-fil-A. Enjoy the hypertension!




Mitt Romney

You’re a Mean One: For openly lying about your feelings on marriage equality, for having a generally awful record on LGBT issues and, apparently for wasting everyone’s goddamn time.

Stocking Stuffer: The last two years of your life back. Kidding! It’s this video on loop till the day you die.



The National Organization for Marriage‘s Brian Brown

You’re a Mean One: For spreading anti-gay hysteria, for donating millions toward denying gay couples the right to marry, for being an awful dinner guest to Dan Savage, and for allegedly assaulting a bunch of dudes with your mouth.

Stocking Stuffer: Bumper stickers from Washington United for Marriage, Minnesotans United for All Families, Marylanders for Marriage Equality and Mainers United for Marriage. Honk if you love sodomy!



The Family Research Council‘s Tony Perkins

You’re a Mean One: For authoring the anti-gay marriage and anti-abortion planks of the GOP’s platform, for claiming marriage equality will incite civil war, and for plaguing the airwaves and the Internet with the FRC’s brand of bigoted crazy.

Stocking Stuffer: A copy of the Democratic Party’s platform, signed by Dan Savage.



Pope Benedict XVI

You’re a Mean One: For using Christmas and the World Day of Peace (and really every day) to denounce gay marriage, for blessing a proponent of Uganda’s “Kill the Gays” bill, and for officially making Twitter uncool.

Stocking Stuffer: Two million followers on Twitter, all of whom are just gay-porn spambots.



Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia

You’re a Mean One: For repeatedly equating homosexuality with murder and bestiality, especially with the Supreme Court preparing to rule on two marriage-equality cases.

Stocking Stuffer: A pending invitation to next year’s list—depending on the high court’s decisions.



The American Family Association‘s Bryan Fischer

You’re a Mean One: For equating gays with cannibals, werewolves and Nazis

Stocking Stuffer: A DVD of his favorite film, The Innocence of Muslims


Screen Shot 2012-12-24 at 5.22.53 PM

The Boy Scouts of America

You’re a Mean One: For reaffirming your ban on openly gay Scouts and leaders, for listing homosexuals along with pedophiles in your “perversion files,” and for denying Ryan Andersen his Eagle Scout badge.

Stocking Stuffer: The highly coveted Merit Badge for Bigotry, plus an IOU for a copy of Ryan Andersen’s college diploma, signed by Ellen DeGeneres.




You’re a Mean One: For imprisoning producer David Cecil for trying to stage a gay play, for threatening to pass the odious “Kill the Gays” bill by Christmas, and then failing to deliver—thus disappointing little children all over the country.

Stocking Stuffer: A bunch of bananas for Parliament to be used as prescribed by Reverend Martin Ssempa.




You’re a Mean One: For Moscow’s 100-year ban on gay pride, St. Petersburg’s law against homosexual propaganda, the similar ban proposed nationwide, imprisoning Pussy Riot, and trying to arrest both Madonna and Lady Gaga.

Stocking Stuffer: A year of free concerts by Mother Monster and the Material Girl, all but guaranteeing that any male fetuses will be born “that way.”


Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated