Tommy Dorfman, star of Netflix‘s 13 Reasons Why, has come out publicly as transgender.
In a new interview with TIME, the 29-year-old performer spoke candidly about her gender identity, revealing that, “for a year now, [she has been] privately identifying and living as a woman – a trans woman”.
Dorfman had previously come out as non-binary in 2017.
“It’s funny to think about coming out,” she reflected, “because I haven’t gone anywhere. I view today as a reintroduction to me as a woman, having made a transition medically.”
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“Coming out is always viewed as this grand reveal, but I was never not out. Today is about clarity: I am a trans woman. My pronouns are she/her. My name is Tommy.”
Dorfman also said that despite having built a career playing male-presenting characters (13 Reasons Why, Love, Victor, Insatiable), she’ll no longer be playing ‘male’ characters.
“It’s impossible for me to separate my personal and professional transition, because my body and face are linked to my career,” she said. “I’m most recognized for playing a bitchy gay poet on a soap opera, and I feared that by actively transitioning in my personal life, I would lose whatever career I’ve been told I’m supposed to have.”
“But I’m no longer interested in playing ‘male’ characters—except for maybe in a ‘Cate Blanchett playing Bob Dylan’ way,” she continued. “Sometimes you just have to say, ‘No, this is just who I f**cking am’.”
Tommy got married to her husband, Peter Zurkuhlen, in 2016, and says the two “redefined” their relationship into more of a friendship after she got more comfortable with her gender.
“It’s wild to be 29 and going through puberty again. Some days I feel like I’m 14. As a result of that shift, the types of romantic partnerships I seek out are different,” Tommy said.
“I was in a nine-year relationship in which I was thought of as a more male-bodied person, with a gay man. I love him so much, but we’ve been learning that as a trans woman, what I’m interested in is not necessarily reflected in a gay man. So we’ve had incredible conversations to redefine our relationship as friends.
“Transitioning has been liberating and clarifying.”
BoomerMyles
Love these stories!
Openminded
I agree, it’s great to see someone successfully be themselves. That said, I always feel bad for the partner who gets left behind. Sounds like this case worked out pretty good, or at a minimum, her husband “set her free” quietly, but it’s still sad to think the story 30 years from now might have been that two gay men married and are celebrating almost 40 years of bliss.
PerhapsYesNoMaybe
Sad for the husband. Hope the husband finds a nice guy who loves him.
SFMike
I so agree. So often it seems like it’s all about dress up for those that transgender rather than anything else.
Prinny
SFMike because it is exactly that
Hank31
Dorfman literally wore a dress to their wedding, so the husband knew he was latching himself to major gender and psychological issues.
LumpyPillows
He might be fine with it.
CityguyUSA
Seems to me that these people are in need of attention and getting attention in this world that moves faster and faster is harder and so they go to more extremes.
TheAbsoluteTRUTH
How do you go from fairly cute twink to yikes…..
Den
How do you live with yourself as the incredibly shallow, self absorbed and intellectually challenged person you are?
Cam
I can always tell when your new screenames have been exposed because you dig up this dusty old one until you can create new ones.
Why not just bring back BJ McFrisky while you’re at it?
Your troll game is tired and boring.
Prinny
Peter your man is out there
Hank31
Some people oppose transgenderism because they say it pressures “gender nonconforming” people, i.e., feminine men and masculine women, into identifying as the opposite sex. I think that it probably does pressure GNC people to do this, but that this is a reason to support it. It is better for gay men and boys that Dorfman, who would regularly cross-dress at public events, and others like him, be re-classified as women. It’s a win-win solution. Best of luck to Tommy!
Essie
I seriously have no clue who this person is and I’ve not heard of any of the shows (except that Victor one) but good for her for finally finding her true self and going for it. I do feel kind of sorry for her gay husband though.
I’m wondering if she and Elliot Page will still have places in the acting industry. It will be interesting to see what happens to both their careers.
Joshua333
Good on her. Live your truth.
IanHunter
She reminds me of Rumor Willis. I am glad that she is happy and living her life.
EZinHTown
I am just astounded by some of the ignorant comments on here. It is sad that in this day and age so many members of the LGBT community are so intolerant and unaccepting of people who don’t conform to their narrow views!
Mack
Seems to me the site has become a haven for assholes of the right wing persuasions. I found the first group of comments to be downright offensive.
Den
Amen toiyou! There are way too many gay men here with no empathy at all for those who differ in any way. They are as lacking in humanity as evangelical Christians!! Worse, because they should know better.
Jessie Nice
What is it with these actors, drag stars & so-called influencers suddenly coming out as “trans”? I highly doubt any of these people were born “trans” and were most likely suddenly affected by the trend of becoming “trans for likes”??? All of these SJW & far-left liberal bs is corrupting the minds of the youth into doing anything in the name of likes, followers and anything liberal. These people need mental help immediately and I hope this things husband gets divorced!
Mack
Guess you’re just another rightwing troll on a gay site with your bullshit.
LumpyPillows
As inelegant as the previous comments are, I do wonder if perhaps some feminine gay men are going down the trans path because of all the hype. I don’t get it, and I know it isn’t my life and I don’t have to get it. That said, I sure hope they are making good choices for the right reasons. You can be a Nellie gay boy and I’d love you just as much, well. I wish Tommy well.
Den
In order to get hormone treatments, as well as surgical reassignment, a person needs to undergo both psychological evaluation and treatment. And as you are clearly not aware (people like you seldom actually live in the real world, but only in your right wing delusions). M-T-F transexuals do not have an easy time of it. Looks like you are simply too stupid to understand that stuff, like those fools who think men transition to peep into the stalls in the ladies room!
LumpyPillows
Den, you’re very rude and disrespectful. You have no idea what I know. I know you believe, good for you. I know kids know little of life and are easily manipulated by professionals with something to prove. There isn’t enough research or science into this area. But, once you’ve surgically neutered yourself there is no going back. Yes, people have questions, and we aren’t stupid.
RyanMBecker
Er yes, evidence suggests that gender identification is indeed inborn. Look into the notorious case of David Reimer, which redefined how sexologists view gender. And it’s indisputable that physical characteristics are inborn. So if the two inborn factors — gender identification and physical identification — conflict, you have transsexuality. It’s that simple. If you’re nice about it, I’ll give you a list of academic articles proving you’re wrong.
nm4047
Grasping at my pearls right now! Who’d have picked this one as trans?
Hillers
I’m happy for her on the one hand for living her truth, but have to admit a pang of sadness.
LumpyPillows
Ditto.
Cam
To the commenters talking about the marriage breaking up. That’s what happens when people finally come out. How many marriages have broken up because a man or woman has come out as gay or lesbian?
If we can end bigotry maybe people like this would have realized and come out sooner and felt more comfortable in their own skin and avoided the issue.
Good for her for realizing who she is.
frankcar1965
He’s nothing but an attention whore. I’m so tired of the trans krap now. You are not a woman just by putting on a dress.
Besides, he looks like a common street walker, like a prostitute. They all need to stop this madness. HE is not a SHE! He is a man in a dress.
b2rocketfan
I’m sad for you and all the hate you have inside. Also, how many street walkers do you employ each week to have such a strong opinion?
Cam
You seem REALLY invested in this, almost as if you’re trans and don’t want to admit it.
DarkZephyr
I’m super happy for her. I hope for great things for her.
GreekKeys
“I view today as a reintroduction to me as a woman.” But, you’re not.
Jack
I am obviously thrilled for her. But GD I was always so in love with Tommy. I hadn’t seen her in forever and she showed up on S1 of Love Victor and I was all in my feels. I gotta pray on this.