Woe is the antigay Christian in the American workplace.

Conservative Christians are in a state of absolute hysteria over what they fear is a rise in anti-Christian discrimination in the corporate sector, Slate reports.

Robert P. George, a professor at Princeton University and head of the International Commission on Religious Freedom, recently wrote a paranoid blog post that describes a survey reportedly circulated to employees at JPMorgan Chase asking whether they were:

1.) A person with disabilities

2.) A person with children with disabilities

3.) A person with a spouse/domestic partner with disabilities

4.) A member of the LGBT community

5.) An ally of the LGBT community, but not personally identifying as LGBT

As Slate points out, corporations send out surveys like this all the time for a variety of reasons, including to gauge diversity within the company, determine benefits needs of employees, and more. But according to George, the survey indicates a serious threat for homophobes.

He writes: “The message to all employees is perfectly clear: You are expected to fall into line with the approved and required thinking. Nothing short of assent is acceptable. Silent dissent will no longer be permitted.”

Really? Is that the message?

And George is not the only one freaking out.

NOM accused the survey of asking “highly-inappropriate questions” and using “tactics of intimidation.” Conservative blogger and drama queen Austin Ruse called the survey an “LGBT loyalty test” and claimed that Christians are being “bullied” and “coerced” and are now in “hostile territory at work” being held captive by a “dominant sexually correct mafia.” Rod Dreher of the American Conservative went so far as to ask: “Is JPMorgan Chase saying that no traditional Christians, Orthodox Jews, or Muslims need apply?”

We’re going to go out on a limb and say: No, that’s not what the company is saying.

Workplace discrimination against gay people is a very real problem in the United States. Federal law offers no employment protections for LGBT people, and it’s still legal in 29 states for an employer to fire someone simply for being gay. Workplace discrimination against Christians, however, is about as real as the great flood.

Someone needs to tell these buffoons to…

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