Eroticized money

‘Buy-sexual’ and ‘cashsexual’ are the new labels for straight dudes who have sex with dudes for cash

Gay-for-pay is so passé. These days, it’s all about buy-sexuality and/or cashsexuals. Evidently, those are the new labels for straight-identifying menfolk who have sex with other menfolk for money. (I.E. porn stars, escorts, sex workers, etc.)

“We assume that these men are gay, or at the very least bisexual, and simply in denial about their sexuality,” certified sex and relationship therapist Joe Kort, Ph.D. says.

But that may not actually be the case.

Related: Guys Reveal What It’s Like To Be ‘Gay For Pay’

Kort is the author of the book Is My Husband Gay, Straight or Bi? A Guide for Women Concerned About Their Men. He says straight-identifying men who have sex with other men for money aren’t necessarily turned on by the guys they’re boning; they’re turned on by the dollar bills.

“They have eroticized money, and the sense of value they derive from being admired and paid for performing sex acts with men,” Kort explains.

For example, he once had a client who described himself as a “cashsexual.”

“Having cash put into his hand or his PayPal account or Google Wallet, as well as the exhibitionism and accolades he received, turned him on.”

It didn’t matter if the cash was coming from a man or a woman.

Related: Gay-for-pay solo performer says he regrets his past, can’t find a girlfriend or job

Kort continues:

In fact, increasingly in gay porn researchers have found straight men who enjoy participating in it. Often, they’re able to exact higher pay for performing because many gay guys are turned on by seeing men straight having gay sex—and gay men are quick to spot them. Then, when the scene is done, the straight man goes home to his wife or girlfriend, and once again immerses himself in the world of heterosexuality.

Hear Kort give his two cents on the matter below…


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25 Comments

  • Donston

    Why exactly should we care about supposedly hetero prostitutes who have “re-named” themselves? And beyond legit gay4pay guys, so many of these dudes are indeed gay and homo-dominant men filled with internalized homophobia or fetish and many don’t know who they hell they are or what they’re sexually attracted to. Ultimately, prostitution is prostitution. It’s hardly a new trade. Who cares what they say their orientation is?

    Typical Graham with his hetero-worshiping, hedonistic praising messiness.

  • JaredMacBride

    No need for new labels – the old ones work just fine.

  • AmishHomo

    Eroticized money? Oh my let’s have the LGBTQabcdefghi…….. embrace those who are predators to make $$$$ and perpetuate the trendy myth that “straight” guys are interested in any way whatsoever in gay men. I’m gonna be sick.

  • Ummmm Yeah

    Ho is easier to spell.

    • joeyconnick

      ROTFLMAO

  • He BGB

    Interesting that some guy gets a hard on when you put a twenty in front of him.

  • bigrawtop

    Duh! Nothing new here. Didn’t need an expert to tell us this. Same story over and over same worship of straight men over and over. How about examining the psyche of the gay guys who worship straight men and why they do that and psyche of gay guys who don’t like gay for pay and why it bothers them. Let’s talk about gay Behavior not straight Behavior

    • joekort

      Hey Bigrawtop I actually agree with you and have written on Huffington Post and in my books about why gay men are attracted to straight men. There needs to be more written to be sure.

    • Donston

      Most men are straight-identifying and straight-behaving. So, most gay and homo-dominant men are gonna be attracted to mostly straight men. It’s the men who are turned off when they find out a man is gay, men who try to constantly pay for “straight” guys to be with them or who try to actually build relationships with straight-identifying men.

      It’s not too difficult to suss out the main reasons: internalized homophobia/self-hate is the most common reason, getting off on feeling subversive and hooking up with straight-identifying men subverts expectation (a lot of people’s sexual fantasies are driven by wanting to feel subversiveness), gender dis-morphia (if you kinda feel you’re female you need to be with a straight identifying men to solidify your sense of self), straight men feeling like a more difficult “challenge” which helps ignite a need for drama and helps ignite the cluster b ego, feeling like you have greater emotional control over a situation with a straight-identifying man.

      And yes, there does need to be greater focus on the psyches of gay men, more focus on how rampant internalized homophobia is and why it exist, more focus on fetish driven instincts, more focus on sexual behaviors that are not driven by sexual attraction (or money), more focus on people’s twisted up egos. But LGBT media aren’t interested in truly digging into those things because they have agendas to push.

      However, don’t get it twisted. Most self-accepting, out of the closet gay and homo-dominant men are not interested in relationships or even paying for sex with straight identifying guys. It’s just the percentage that is tend to be very loud.

  • crowebobby

    I knew an Italian hustler back in the early 70’s who used to say: “The fact that I can get it hard for a man doesn’t prove I’m gay, it just proves my brain is stronger than my dick.” If you have to be gay to get a hard-on with a man, then 90% of Italian men were gay up till the advent of the AIDS crises.

  • dean089

    So many people get their undies in a bunch over things that are absolutely none of their business. Isn’t that what the LGBTQLMNOP community are always fighting? And yet we are often the worst offenders.

    • Donston

      What exactly is your point and how does it connect with the article? Saying that you are tired of a queer site constantly focusing on hetero-identifying men and men who live mostly straight social lives and debauchery and wanting more focus on the mindset, struggles and sociology of actually gay people is an extreme thought to you or something?

  • Georgeiv2

    When I was young a long time ago we said that the ‘rent boys’ as they were called of today were the ‘Johns’ (clients ) of tomorrow

  • Captain Obvious

    The “no labels” generation does it again. Now they want to re-label rent boy. Yeah ok…

  • WindsorOntario

    Hate to break it to most of ya but no hardly any of these guys are ‘secretly gay’ or ‘forever closeted’ or whatever hopes you have. Most of them have a serious drug or gambling problem or owe thousands in child support. These are guys who are not able to make more than minimum wage because of their lack of education or because of the seriousness of their addictions. The only difference between these guys and the addicts you see on the streets is that these gay for pay guys are street smart & know they can exploit most gay men (hell, they can even rob or kill us because they know most of us live alone and have no partner or kids, so who’ll ever know if anything happens to us?).

    These guys are scum of the earth predators exploiting the loneliness and desperation of many gay guys who will do anything for a taste of affection. And this speaks VOLUMES about why a lot of gay men have given up trying to meet up with other gay guys – they’ve either been treated so badly by other gay men or they just don’t find the majority of gay men interesting or attractive.

    • Donston

      You can be a gay man with serious drug problems. You can be a gay man with serious gambling problems. You can be closeted for life. Developing homosexual or homo-leaning sexual attractions can lead to developing a very fragile, conflicted and convoluted ego, which in turn leads to extreme behavior.

      There are different motivations and triggers for everyone. To say all these guys are straight is assuming that all gay men self-accept or gain self-comfort and snuff out ego-dystonia, which we all know is not close to being true. You’re trying to defend all gay men by claiming all these dudes are straight and they’re all horrible creatures.

      Some of these gay-4-pay claiming men are indeed hetero. Some are hetero-dominant. Some are homo. Some are homo-dominant. Ultimately, getting into prostitution is often a sign of having an extreme cluster b personality and generally being more extreme in behavior and having an overall lack of self-respect. So, it doesn’t matter what they actually are inherently or what they label themselves or what their “lifestyle” is like. The tendencies are similar.

    • Donston

      Furthermore, most of these prostitutes and in particular porn performers are as driven by ego and fetish as they are money and/or whatever addictions they may have. And because they’re often driven by so many other things that extend beyond sexual attractions it’s impossible to pin down what any of their sexual orientations are. That’s why it’s best not to pay any attention.

  • Terrycloth

    What next ? Gay men being paid to have sex with women..its probably been discussed in some porn
    Office …then they laughed it off

    • Donston

      Yes, there have always been gay men and homo-dominant men that have sex with women for money or other advancements or just for ego’s sake. Hell, my ex admitted to me that he let his female neighbor blow him for 30 bucks when he was 19. And there have been gay-2-straight porn scenarios where a self-described gay guy had sex with a girl. In most of those scenarios the dude couldn’t manage to get or couldn’t stay hard of course despite all the editing.

      This is just not something people widely discuss, because it’s not as fantastical. It’s a bit less common. And most of those gay and homo-dominant men who have either prostituted themselves to women once or twice or who have had sugar-mamas are either closeted, claiming to be bi or just don’t feel the need to speak up about it.

    • Beguile

      I’ll believe these guys are straight when I see straight for pay. gay guys having raunchy sex with women. It doesn’t make any sense. I actually like to watch some of those gay for pay sites not because I think those guys are straight but because they do such a good job at barebacking, dp, eating cum, sucking lots of dicks. they look like they enjoy it so much its extremely convincing. To me those guys are at least bi. And to do it several times a month. If they are straight, I’m prince Harry.

  • jsmnyny24

    The rails when off the so-called movement many years ago. Today’s “movement” is nothing more than a tragic circus of acronyms. I hope it dies once and for all.

    • Donston

      The “movement” has always been a bit off-kilter. But yes, nowadays there’s zero focus on the develop of sexuality and sense of gender. There’s hardly any focus on mental health or self-acceptance or self-respect. It’s become entirely about narcissism, indulging one’s ego, “being who you want to be” and standing out. Everyone in a battle to out-special one another. And no, it won’t die.

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