A dad on Reddit says he will buy his son condoms, host “skinny-dipping parties” and allows his son and his friends to go streaking around the neighborhood.
But wearing a speedo on a family cruise? That’s a thread too far!
In a subreddit titled, “Am I the A-hole,” the dad asks whether he overstepped his bounds demanding his 18-year-old son cover up. He goes on to mention that Jax is a “great kid” who suffers from “TOO MUCH confidence lol.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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The poster adds that Jax is “great looking,” “athletic” and “something of an exhibitionist…” just to further set the scene.
“We arrive on the ship and set sail and Jax gets ready to head to one of the pools for the first time. Let’s just say his swimsuit was NOT appropriate. At all. Definitely a ‘flaunt it’ type of suit,” the distraught dad writes.
“I told him to put on something else. He had NOTHING, the kid has packed nothing but those — for a week long cruise. What was he thinking?”
Perhaps Jax was thinking he wants to look like… Tom Daley.
Or Bruno Alcantara.
Or the crush on your Instagram freed.
Or like tens of million of men around the world. America has a clear “Speedophobia” problem, with straight men labeling the sensible and sexy swimwear as “gay” and “effeminate.”
Instead, they opt for dangly board shorts. The speedo-scared Reddit dad admits he sent his son back to the store, only for him to come back with another skimpy suit! That’s when the man of the cruise ship laid down the law.
“I told him to go back, buy a PROPER suit like trunks or boardie shorts or whatever, which he reluctantly did,” the man says.
It appears that Jax–a “shameless flirt,” as his father calls him–wanted to “chat up girls all day long.” He apparently thought his speedo would attract an audience.
Related*
Does America have a “Speedophobia” problem?
While Speedos are commonplace in gay enclaves like Fire Island, Palm Springs, P-town and South Beach, that isn’t the case everywhere.
Jax wouldn’t be alone in that sentiment, by the way. Even in the U.S., speedos were ubiquitous on beaches for a long time, and might be again, too.
While men wore shorts on the beach up until the late 1950s–as well as cabana suits–speedo came out with a much shorter garment. The immediate result was Puritan outrage. When some men first wore speedos on Australia’s Bondi Beach in 1961, they were arrested for indecent exposure!
The conservative backlash created a global sensation. At the 1968 Summer Olympics, 27 of of the 29 swimming and diving gold medalists wore Speedo brand.
It’s an Olympic tradition that’s still practiced today!
Speedos faded from popular conscience in the 90s, when long fits came into style (when it comes to fashion, past is prolong)!
But interestingly, speedos are experiencing a resurgence, right alongside baggy cargo shorts. Sales for Speedo across Europe, the Middle East and Africa were up 200% last year, and in the U.S. they’re up by 54%. And that’s not even counting the array of gay-friendly companies that manufacture their own swim trunks, such as St33le and aussieBum.
For those wondering, aussieBum appears to be Jax’s brand of choice. His dad took a screenshot of the style his son was wearing, and yep…
Unfortunately for Jax, he was told to go back to the store. The Reddit crowd appears to be split on whether that was the right call.
“He’s an adult. If women can wear bikinis why can’t men wear speedos?,” somebody said.
“I have to admit I snort-laughed when I saw the image. I think a compromise would have been if you were OK with him wearing the speedos he bought on the ship,” somebody else added.
Other people pointed out there are places for aussieBum…but maybe not on the family vacay?
“That isn’t to say ‘don’t wear speedos to family beaches’ or anything. Sex and the human body are normal, healthy things,” somebody wrote. “But it’s your parents.”
Hmm… not a bad point, when one thinks about it!
Maybe a good compromise would be: swim shorts for the family cruise, aussieBum for the gay beach?
Problem solved! You gotta dress to the crowd, after all.
What do you think? Are speedos ever not appropriate? Let us know in the comments below!
Related*
Are gay beaches only for gay people?
It’s important to remember a trip to the beach and a trip to the gay beach are not the same thing.
dbmcvey
A Speedo is perfectly appropriate. They were even selling them on the ship.
Kangol2
Perfectly appropriate. Dad’s the issue.
Darson
If you got the body for a speedo, then rock one. Dad’s jealousy was on full display. That or he was having some feelings he wasn’t ready to deal with.
Jim
Speedos are so much more comfortable in the water than anything else, well except nothing
Why do guys wear board shorts?
To cover up there short comings?
Paulie P
The son is trying to sell something and more than likely has and dad is seeing his youth and can’t handle it.
dbmcvey
Why do you say that Paulie? You think wearing a speedo is “trying to sell something?”