For as much as homophobes whine about the “gay agenda,” surely one of us must know what it is, right?
Yeah, of course it’s not a real thing. GLAAD defines the “so-called ‘homosexual agenda’” as “inventions of anti-gay extremists seeking to create a climate of fear by portraying the pursuit of equal opportunity for LGBT people as sinister.”
But if the gay agenda were a real thing, what would it be? Reddit users proposed agenda items after one person wrote, “I’m gay, but I don’t know the gay agenda. Can someone fill me in?”
Many of the commenters brought the funny. “If you have not received your gay agenda pamphlet, you need to call the number on the back of your gay card,” one person wrote.
Here are some other comments from the thread:
“Be gay, do crimes.”
“Be crimes, do gay.”
“Don’t forget: On Wednesdays, we wear pink.”
“Every Tuesday is Taco Tuesday.”
Related: Guys describe the “stupidest” things they’ve done to seem straight
“Equal rights for all and spread the good word about Carly Rae Jepsen.”
“Convert the all the straights, ending reproduction and halting the massive population growth, thus slowing and eventually stopping mankind’s destruction of the Earth.”
“Convert as many straights as possible.”
“Brunch.”
“Live your life the best way you know how.”
“Because I am a history nerd, here is the oath of America’s first queer liberation group, the Marxist Mattachine Society: ‘We are sworn that no boy or girl, approaching the maelstrom of deviation, need make that crossing alone, afraid and in the dark ever again.’ The first ‘gay agenda’ was about making sure none of us feel ashamed, alone, or abused by wider society.”
Related: Redditors offer tips for befriending other gays
“6:30–7:30: Gym. 7:30–8: Ride back home. 8–9: Shower, breakfast, walk the dog. 9 onwards: Take over the world. Evening (optional): RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars.”
“I’m gay, too, and I wouldn’t have a clue either. My hetero dad seemed to know all about it, though. Odd.”
“Me. I am The Gay Agenda. I will fill you in. 😜”
Cam
“The Gay Agenda”
Being able to walk down the street together, move into a neighborhood, get a job, travel, etc. without being attacked for being LGBTQ.
tomtedbear
Sounds like equality! That’s been my agenda for the last forty something years.
Mike Hunt
My “gay agenda” is simply to s*ck as much d*ck as possible!
Leo
See me after school.
GreekKeys
Well, all the sterotypes we’ve fought against for 8o years is what spawned the “gay agenda” thing. Everything we claimed was NOT part of the gay agenda now is because of The Trans.
We are in schools, recruiting.
We are going after children.
We trying to legalize letting boys into the bathrooms of 8-year-old girls.
We are telling children there is no gay, they’re just born wrong and some asshole pediatrician “assigned” them the wrong sex, where the only solution is disfiguring, irreversible surgery, chest binders and delaying puberty so your body doesn’t develop.
We’re stealing acting awards and sports medals from the women these awards were set aside for.
Thanks to The Trans, the charge of a gay agenda is very real.
So your little amusing piece about this is just so much smug, oblivious, head-in-the-sand bullshit.
barryaksarben
Thanks to trans the stupid, inane bigots are quick to spot – like you. Trans like gays just want to be left alone. I have known a few trans people in my long life and not one has tried to recruit anyone else into being trans. YOU are so damned stupid and smug with your calling us out for making fun of this beyond dumb as hell so called agenda. THERE IS NO GAY AGENDA AND THERE IS NO TRANS AGENDA. The ONLY agendas is to be left alone to live our lives in peace and safety. You are the one who is trying sadly to persuade others to YOUR cause which WILL fail because like being gay we wont disappear or change just because you are uncomfortable in your ignorance. GO troll elsewhere you hate filled toad. I have NO doubt you are not gay period. I am also positive you have a miserable sexless life
barryaksarben
yours is the funniest response of all in its incredible ignorance and demand for the world to be the way you want it.. AINT going to happen missy
Cam
I LOVE it when another screename of the right wing troll account exposes itself so obviously.
Tombear
The gay agenda to me is equality.
barryaksarben
yes exactly
tomtedbear
That sums it up exactly!
cubcmh
Wait, what? Uh oh – better cancel the Agenda meeting.
Mack
I’ve heard about the “Gay Agenda” for decades and no one has ever told me what it was. I know all I want is to be able to love the one I want, to live in peace, to have a job where I don’t have to worry about being fired because someone uses their religion to fire me.
Seth
The cruelty and ignorance of modern conservatism has boiled my gay agenda down to the most base, negative concept.
I want to be able to ignore the harm done to them as easily and conveniently as they ignore the harm they do to the rest of us.
That’s equality in 2021 America. We all lose. Yay.
Openminded
Sobering thought, and probably more true than I want to believe.
Fahd
Agenda is a loaded word in the context of seeking equal rights. An agenda can be political and it can be hidden, so there we already have some negative connotations. I think GLAAD has it correct when it explains it (see article above).
I wish we were at a point where everyone knew the so-called “gay agenda” is not a sinister threat and let’s have fun with it and talk about our New Year’s resolutions and hopes and dreams, especially where relationships are concerned, but sadly with the rise of hatemongers, the U.S. and other potential safe havens teeter on the demise of democracy. The pursuit of equal rights is very far from over.
uberhund
I always love Bob the Drag Queen on this: ‘The Gay Agenda – designed by lesbians, so you KNOW it’s gonna work!’
jay_raines
My Trans Agenda is to fight for a world where my grandkids don’t have to worry about the gender and sexuality police that are trying to take over their schools with right wing hate.
CityguyUSA
The gay agenda us applicable to everyone that doesn’t fit in.
whateverokok
What about fat people? Does that include fat people?