A devoted conservative Christian and daughter of an executive of the notoriously antigay Focus On The Family, Amber Cantorna was disowned after coming out to her family, but now she’s speaking out.
On the That God Show podcast, Cantorna shares her story of coming out to herself and negotiating her Christianity on her terms:
“I knew I couldn’t just sweep this “problem” under the rug, but I was terrified. I was terrified that in studying and digging deeper, I might find what I had been taught all my life to be true: God disapproved of homosexuality and, therefore, He disapproved of me. Focus on the Family teaches that marriage is strictly between one man and one woman and I was equally as terrified that in digging deeper I might find that belief to be false. Because if God did indeed make me this way, I would become part of a minority that is stigmatized, especially in Christian circles, and that too would be life-altering. So either way, my life would never be the same.”
She finally did come out to “drastic” consequences:
“After much counsel, preparation and prayer, I felt the time had come to tell my truth. So on April 14th, 2012 I invited both my parents and brother over and we all took a seat in the living room of my split-level apartment. I told them the journey I had been on over the past several years and then, spoke the 3 short words that would forever alter my future. Only in my worst nightmares were the consequences as drastic as what they proved to be in real life.”
Cantorna shares her journey to finding a welcoming church and a loving wife on the That God Show podcast. Check it out below.
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1EqualityUSA
mmm,no, but happy trails to you. Good luck with your healing and hope you have a truthful, productive life.
AtticusBennett
congratulations for achieving the sense of self needed to stand up to the bigotry and prejudice that has defined your family. your strength is incredible.
martinbakman
I still like to go back and read the interview in the Wichita Eagle where evangelical deacon Monte Vines reminds
‘There are many churches. But I have only one son.’
The thing about Monte Vines and his son Mathew Vines which is different from the Focus on the Family crowd is the Vines are intelligent and highly educated people that sought a solution within their faith, whereas Focus on the Family prioritizes raising money for socially conservative policies, and leaves no room at all for their gay kids.
It’s not that you need to be a lawyer or Harvard educated to accept being gay, but one does need the capacity to question the men in suits that send the collection plate your way, when they preach against your children. Thankfully Amber Cantorna was able to do that.
mbfmark
This story points out how many people are mentally and emotionally shackled by belief in an imaginary, judgmental being. Even when life’s circumstances point out how delusional and evil such dogmatic belief systems can be, so many people have a hard time just letting go of it all and turning to the reality that no such being exists and the can live their lives without fear of some absurd eternal punishment. God is imaginary, prayer is superstition, religion is based on self delusion. Organized religion is based on the need to maintain power and control over other humans and has nothing good to offer in the end. There is only one life, one planet, one chance to move mankind forward into the future.
AtticusBennett
@mbfmark: right now in Canada, catholic leaders are threatening to refuse to perform “last rites” to the terminally-ill who seek a doctorassisted suicide.
literally. a person is in pain. they’re dying. and they want to go out on their own terms, and end their pain. and the Church is like “well, we won’t give you your last rites so you’ll go to Hell”
what a galling way these people pretend to practice their “faith” – using it as a weapon and a threat, right until the very end.
TampaZeke
Good for her for jumping out of the religious delusion frying pan to another, slightly less hot, spot in the same frying pan.
I did that too, before I fully woke up and decided to free myself from religious delusion altogether.
Hopefully this is a first step toward total freedom for her.
TampaZeke
@AtticusBennett: What’s even more galling is the fact that so many people, knowing these things, continue to believe in and support such organizations and their superstitions.
The Tower of Power
“Sweeping the issue under the rug” is exactly the way to put their perspective on gay relationships. These groups solely make decisions on what will make them money, regardless of the public harm that might come about from them.
Even though it was established in court that denying gay marriage rights harms the children of gay parents, these groups know they can take in $$$ by posturing against gay marriage.
Marky
@mbfmark: I think that the harder your life is, the more you look forward to what happens after. I don’t think people care as much about the concept of deity as they do the concept of heaven. The more we, as a global community, can improve the quality of life of all people, the more people will be happy with living instead of bitterly awaiting a supposed reward that isn’t received until after they die.
“Heaven” should be for the living.
AtticusBennett
@TampaZeke: YUP. i read a hideous op-ed damning the film “SPOTLIGHT” – “Yet another smear against Christianity by liberal hollywood..”
I’m like…. uh… you’re angrier that a film was made that showed that the church actively covered up child rapes, for decades, thousands of times, ….you’re angrier at the film for shining a light on the truth than you are that it HAPPENED!?
behold, the pathetic sheep-mindset of the modern day religious apologist.