Do Gay Men Have A Problem With “Glorifying Toxic Ideals Of Masculinity”? This Blogger Thinks So.


It all started with an unwanted advance made at a bar.

It was closing time. Jeremy Alexander was heading for the exit when another guy grabbed him by the arm, pulled him towards him, and tried to plant a kiss on his lips. Jeremy pulled back and, he writes, “with no warning, he punches me twice to the face, calls me a faggot and runs out the front door.”

Related: Do Gay Men Have A Problem With Gender Roles? “I’m A Masc, Dom Top Who Needs To Be Held”

In a new op-ed titled Fellow Gay Men, Stop Glorifying Toxic Ideals Of MasculinityJeremy tackles the issue of overly aggressive gay men obsessed with dominance.

“My theory is simple,” he writes. “These men want to overcompensate for their queerness, because on some level, they see their queerness as negative and that their sexual orientation makes them a ‘sissy’ by default.”

And so, Jeremy says, “they embrace ‘bro’ culture, work out, avoid smiling in photos, talk in a deeper voice octave and avoid talking with their hands or watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race.

It’s Jeremy’s belief that many gay men still equate homosexuality with femininity and weakness, resulting in a primal need to dominate.

Related: Are You Finally Ready To Embrace The Idea Of ‘Inclusive Masculinity?’

“Rape culture isn’t isolated to the heterosexual community alone,” he says, “it invades even these queer spaces and imbues woman-hating behavior into queer men as well — something displayed day-to-day in the ever-growing ‘Masc4Masc’ culture of the gay community.”

He continues: “Strangely enough, being seen as ‘straight acting’ is something desired by a large demographic of gay men, hoping to embody these traits of the heterosexual male in their gay lifestyle.”

This is something Jeremy says he just does not understand.

“These traits breed only self-loathing within the community and effectively serve no functional purpose,” he writes. “Bottom line is this: gay men cannot make heteronormative values work. Sorry, guys, we already broke the rules when we started having sex with men.”

Related: Is Writing “Masc 4 Masc Only” In Your Online Profile Homophobic?

Jeremy concludes by saying that a dangerous “‘white bro’ frat movement” is sweeping across gay communities and it “isn’t working for me.”

“Frankly, the people who are trying to make it happen just end up looking stupid,” he says. “Maybe I’ll never understand what these men get out of self-regulating themselves into oblivion, and well, maybe I don’t really want to. Just please try to avoid punching me in the face next time, I’m all out of concealer.”

What do you think? Is there a “white bro” frat movement happening in the gay community that needs to be stopped? Share your thoughts in the comments section below…