shumskyCan shoes be gay? According to one Russian Orthodox Priest, they can.

While the rest of the world has been fawning over the sinfully sexy soccer players at the FIFA World Cup in Brazil, Alexander Shumsky (pictured) has been fuming over their flamboyant choice of footwear, The Washington Post reports.

The priest called this summer’s games a “homosexual abomination.” More specifically, he said that soccer players’ brightly colored shoes were promoting the “gay rainbow.”

In a column penned for the Christian website Russian People’s Line, Shumsky claims that by “wearing pink or blue shoes, [the players] might as well wear women’s panties or a bra.”

In addition to the shoes, Shumsky said he’s also offended by the “unthinkable” hairstyles worn by some of the players.

So what does all this mean?

It’s an attack on Christianity, of course!

“The liberal ideology of globalism clearly wants to oppose Christianity with football,” the priest wrote.

He added: “Therefore I am glad that the Russian players have failed and, by the grace of God, no longer participate in this homosexual abomination.”

Russia was eliminated in the first round of the World Cup, after failing to win a single match in the group stages.

Perhaps if players hadn’t have been wearing pink shoes, the Russians would have fared better. We will never know for certain, though Shumsky says he is “sure of it.”

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