Say what?!

Queer millennials share the stupidest questions they’ve been asked about being LGBTQ

What’s the one question you’re most tired of hearing? That’s what a reporter at The Tab asked several queer millennials. And the responses range from downright stupid (“Can I have some fashion advice?”) to borderline offensive (“Don’t you just ever feel like a bit of c*ck?”).

20-year-old Sam, who identifies as gay, says “Straight guys always say to me ‘Would you f*ck me?’ I reply ‘Like no, not really, cos you’re f*cking straight.’”

Other questions he gets a lot: “Can I have your fashion advice?” “Tone it down a bit?” and “Can you be my gay best friend?”

Related: Guys discuss their least favorite things about being gay

19-year-old Gavin, who also identifies as gay, says there are two things people constantly ask him about: RuPaul‘s Drag Race and Pride, neither of which he’s particularly interested in.

“People ask me ‘do you watch RuPaul’s Drag Race?’ Like no, I’m gay but I don’t watch trashy TV. Then they say ‘why didn’t you go to Pride?’ Honestly I don’t have an excuse. I like sleep.”

19-year-old Jack can relate.

“I hate how Pride festivals have been infiltrated,” he laments. “I’m all about accepting allies, but Dublin Pride in particular has become ‘Saint Patrick’s Day with rainbows’. Straight people use it as an excuse to get drunk in the city center and pose for pictures with Drag Queens.”

For bisexual Will, who is 19, he gets tired of people always asking him about sex, sex, sex.

“I’m sick of people asking me whether I’ve slept with somebody simply on the basis that they’re gay,” he explains. “You wouldn’t ask a straight guy if they’ve slept with the first woman that you can see.”

Related: Guys reveal the craziest things they’ve done to stay in the closet

19-year-old Verity, also bisexual, agrees. She, too, can’t seem to escape invasive questions about her sex life.

“I hate being asked when you’ll ‘pick a side’,” she says. “There are always more probing questions about your sex life than anyone would ask straight couples.”

Then there’s Sarah, an asexual, who receives some of the most bizarre questions of them all, including: “Does that mean you reproduce via mitosis?”

What about you? What are some of the most annoying/bizarre/invasive/ridiculous questions you’ve received about being LGBTQ? Share them in the comments below…

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  • Zan3

    I don’t mind these questions, curiosity is good it’s how people learn, how people become accepting. You never know the person asking the question could be battling their fight for self acceptance.

  • Paco

    At least they aren’t being asked which one is the woman.

    • GayEGO

      I was back in the day. I have a husband who is my lifetime partner of 55 years, and I was asked, which one is the woman? I have also been asked if I like a man that looks feminine and who is the top and who is the bottom. My only response was – we are attracted to each other not only because of looks, but there is an emotional bond and it is not just about sex.

  • Thomas Loom

    I hate the question in a gay relationship. Which one of you is the women. Hello gay men no woman.

    • GayEGO

      Right on! It is not just about sex, it is an emotional bonding that comes from within.

  • baggins435

    Why limit it to millennials? Any out LGB person has been asked stupid questions. For starters, the apparently mandatory question of “How do you decide who is the woman?” Or “how can you be gay, you don’t act like a girl?” I had a coworker ask me, in a room full of people no less, if I liked getting fcuked. When I said no she said “why not, it feels great?” This was a woman who openly talked about finding a plug-in vibrator because the battery ones just didn’t last long enough.
    I was an openly gay civilian working for a contractor on a military base during DADT. From the questions I was asked it was apparent that people assumed, and still assume, a gay man will hop in the sack with any other gay man in a heartbeat just because they are both gay. When I asked a 20-something guy why he would even think that his reply was “Two guys wanting sex…?” I turned it around and said “what about you and ____ (a particular woman on base)? He acted offended at the thought so I spread my hands and said well…? What I find really amusing are the questions straight guys ask when there are no witnesses. “So, what does it feel like to (insert sex act)?” “Do you think I’m attractive?” “why not?” And the always popular “You know…I’ve let guys suck me before….”
    If someone is genuinely curious I’ll answer reasonable questions, but most are just baiting you to “prove” their opinion of LGBTs.

    • GayEGO

      Good comments. I was a Navy musician back in the day and I played the flute. I used to hear, “I’ve got a flute for you to play!”. I came up with a response – “Whip it out, I will poke holes in it and put a silver mouthpiece on it and give you the biggest thrill you ever had!”. Another time, a trombone player from Missouri use to harass me and back then I used to smoke. One time when we were having a break from a band rehearsal, he reached for a cigarette in my jumper pocket. I shrieked and said – “You pinched my tit!”. He jumped away in shock, and he never harassed me after that. I lived with my lifetime partner of 55 years at the time in an apartment in Boston back in 1962. All of the band members were chatting about that so I had him come in to listen to a rehearsal and introduced him as my roommate. After that, they really had nothing to gossip about so they left me alone. I was honorably discharged after 4 years, in 1963.

  • Chris

    I’m not sure how much is cause they’re gay versus cause this generation is much more public about their sex lives. I told my niece that it’s okay to tell someone that it’s none of their business when she gets asked some very personal questions about her own sex life.

  • Lvng1Tor

    So…they get asked the same things most of us do and have since, like, forever?

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