You know, the Republican Congressman who got nationally noticed for decorating his office like the set of Downton Abbey, and then noticed some more for a bunch of financial improprieties. Of course, the gays had been noticing him for a long time, what with his intense eagerness to show off his shirtless body, turquoise belts and designer shoe collection.
Now we’re not saying he’s gay — just that he’s propped up a bunch of anti-gay policies and politicians. As a Republican, he bears responsibility for the suffering of LGBTQs all over the country. (He voted against DADT repeal; opposed marriage equality; and voted against hate crime protections.) So if he’s gay, he’s a big gay hypocrite. And if he’s straight, well, then he’s just a lousy jerk.
At any rate, he just managed to escape some punishment for whatever financial crimes he committed. A grand jury took a look at him for over a year and decided last week that, ehhhh, better not indict him. Must be nice to be a good-looking, rich, white lawyer!
He could still face prosecution of the US Attorney, however. Or he might not, if the US Attorney decides white collar crime isn’t important enough to pursue. We’ll see.
“It’s been a trying time, frankly, it’s been really frustrating as someone whose been always out spoken,” he told a reporter in a rare interview with his local Peoria, Illinois news station the other day.
(When asked why he opposes gay marriage, he just said “Um.” So outspoken!)
He added that he’ll probably stay out of politics for the foreseeable future, which is for the best whether he’s gay or straight.