Hey, Aaron Schock, remember that guy?
You know, the Republican Congressman who got nationally noticed for decorating his office like the set of Downton Abbey, and then noticed some more for a bunch of financial improprieties. Of course, the gays had been noticing him for a long time, what with his intense eagerness to show off his shirtless body, turquoise belts and designer shoe collection.
Now we’re not saying he’s gay — just that he’s propped up a bunch of anti-gay policies and politicians. As a Republican, he bears responsibility for the suffering of LGBTQs all over the country. (He voted against DADT repeal; opposed marriage equality; and voted against hate crime protections.) So if he’s gay, he’s a big gay hypocrite. And if he’s straight, well, then he’s just a lousy jerk.
Related: Are You Ready For An Aaron Schock-Inspired Gay Skin Flick?
At any rate, he just managed to escape some punishment for whatever financial crimes he committed. A grand jury took a look at him for over a year and decided last week that, ehhhh, better not indict him. Must be nice to be a good-looking, rich, white lawyer!
He could still face prosecution of the US Attorney, however. Or he might not, if the US Attorney decides white collar crime isn’t important enough to pursue. We’ll see.
“It’s been a trying time, frankly, it’s been really frustrating as someone whose been always out spoken,” he told a reporter in a rare interview with his local Peoria, Illinois news station the other day.
(When asked why he opposes gay marriage, he just said “Um.” So outspoken!)
He added that he’ll probably stay out of politics for the foreseeable future, which is for the best whether he’s gay or straight.
Related: Aaron Schock Spotted Sipping Cocktails With Another Man At Romantic DC Hot Spot
Masc Pride
Totally fine with him being done with politics, but I see no reason why the shirtless selfies have to stop. That’s just cruel.
Xzamilio
Do some squats, dude. Or some lunges. Just Noassatall
Harley
@Masc Pride: yea, but with that rotting brain and no empathy for anything but his bank account he’s pretty dayum ugly. I’ll pass.
martinbakman
@Xzamilio: Yes! More tushie. Lest breastie.
DCguy
More like Politics is done with him.
captainburrito
Moral: Quit and there are seldom any legal consequences to corruption.
Magnus
There is something awfully sad about his life, and it has nothing to do with speculation over his sexual orientation, or the political scandals he is alleged to be involved in. I get the sense that he has some demons in the attic from a very long time ago.
Kangol
Is he going to go work for a right-wing think tank? Wall Street? Some major corporation that will pay him to be a famous face on the executive board? Whatever he does, he really skirted prosecution for what was clearly unethical and possibly criminal activity. But he can tell his supporters that at the very least he got to kick the gays while doing so.
robho3
I think he should become an underwear model then he can speak at the republican convention.