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Small Packages: Hollywood’s (Allegedly) Most Poorly-Endowed Men

You know what they say: It’s not about the size of the ship, it’s about the motion of the ocean.

The average penis size is 5.6 inches long when erect. Some penises are bigger than that. Others are smaller. If you are in the class of men with penises shorter than 5.6 inches, don’t fret. You’re in good company.

Scroll down to see eight of Hollywood’s (allegedly) most poorly-endowed men.

Ashton Kutcher

In 2008, when asked about Kutcher’s relationship with Demi Moore, the late great actress Brittany Murphy told David Letterman: “I suppose the crux of their relationship basically means to him that age doesn’t matter and to her that size doesn’t matter.” Kutcher and Murphy dated in 2002. Clearly things didn’t end well.

Eminem

Eminem’s on-again-off-again wife/fantasy murder victim Kim Mathers told a Detroit radio station in 2007 that the homophobic rapper was “not very well-endowed.” On top of that, sex with him was “bad.” Then she offered this word of advice: “If you’re going to have sex with Marshall, make sure you have a little blue pill, because otherwise it does not work.”

Nick Cannon

During an interview in 2011, Nick Cannon’s ex-fiance, model Selita Ebanks, described both his kissing abilities and his penis size with just a single word: “Eh.” Her silence speaks volumes. Although, Mariah Carey seems to be happy with it.

Danny Bonaduce

The Partridge Family star turned radio host Danny Bonaduce grossed everyone out when he got completely naked and showed off his manhood, or lack thereof, along with his puff of orange pubic hair at the Erotic Ball in San Francisco in 2007. Click here to see the uncensored pics. (But don’t say we didn’t warn you!)

Nick Lachey

After they broke up at the end of 2005, pop singer Jessica Simpson reportedly gave an interview in which she confessed: “Nick’s small package was a problem sometimes, like the first time we had sex, to tell you the truth, I didn’t really feel much. I faked the whole thing. I really felt sorry for him; I still loved him though.”

Enrique Iglesias

The Latin crooner has joked about the size of his dong for years. In 2005, he told an interviewer that he hoped to launch a line of extra small condoms: “I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it’s really embarrassing for people — you know, from experience. Hopefully people won’t be ashamed when I step forward.” In 2011, he brought it up again, this time flat out saying: “I have the smallest penis in the world.” Anna Kournikova, however, doesn’t seem to mind.

Jon Gosselin

In 2009, reality star Jon Gosselin’s ex-girlfriend Hailey Glassman went on record as saying: “He was so small, I didn’t think he would cheat on me. He’s hung like a nine-year-old boy. I’m serious. This is true.” Then she called him “tiny, tiny, tiny.” Maybe that’s why Kate was always in such a pissy mood?

Colin Farrell

In 2004, actor Colin Farrell told a reporter the size of his penis “ain’t nothing to f**king write home about.” In 2006, however, a 14-minute sex tape of Farrell and Playboy model Nicole Narain hit the internet and proved the opposite. Not only does Colin have quite a bit to write home about, but he’s got one very filthy mouth.