This is not a joke… Or is it?
Someone on Etsy is selling solid gold Trump turds, or “terds,” starting at $950.00 and going all the up to $1,500.00. Currently, there are three different turds for sale:
The Donald ($950.00 + $2.67 shipping)
This is a 4-ounce golden turd that claims to “look small but it has a huge presence.” The description reads:
Produced from a patriotic diet of Dominoes pizza, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Taco Bell, the TRUMP Terd is a testament to American ingenuity and values. Sporting The Donald on your desk lets people know you mean business. Do your part to make America great again, buy yourself the TRUMP Terd.
The Melania ($1,200.00 + $3.03 shipping)
This is a 5.5-ounch golden nugget that “is anything but a cheap copy plagiarized from the annuals of Vogue Ukraine.” The item description reads:
This Terd is the real deal and shimmers in the spotlight. Female CEOs and exotic dancers alike will benefit from owning one of these magnificent all-American all-Female Terds.
The Ivanka ($1,500.00 + $3.21 shipping)
This terd is longer and skinnier than The Donald and the Melania, like the first daughter herself. The item description reads:
The Ivanka is the rarest of all The TRUMP Terds. Weighing in at a full half pound, they are said to be infused with powerful business acumen and are born to this world to the sound of trumpets and song. The owner of this Terd may find him or herself overcome with emotion while handling it. And a sense of ease and wellbeing follows.
The terds are handmade and come with a “museum quality desktop pedestal” and certificate of authenticity.