Members of the Men’s Therapeutic Cuddle Group of Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania (an area 30 minutes north of Philadelphia) try to heal each other’s trauma through clothed cuddling sessions. The group has been meeting for over two years and welcomes a range of sexual orientations, according to Philly.com.
Scott Turner, the group’s 46-year-old co-founder, says that men are often taught to be stoic. “If you show any emotional weakness or vulnerability, that’s a failure to your title of a man,” Turner says. So the group uses platonic physical affection as a way to open guys up to emotional closeness.
Some of the men feel disconnected from their own bodies because of sexual assault or physical abuse. Others just crave positive intimacy and physical affection without the pressures of attraction, homophobia or sex. Turners adds that cuddling alone won’t heal men’s hurts, but that it’s part of a larger toolbox.
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The cuddling group is private, and members are required to go through a screening process. Sexual touch and nudity aren’t allowed and consent is mandatory.
Members are encouraged to start by holding each other in a “motorcycle hold” where one man embraces another from behind as if they were riding a motorcycle. Some men rub their partners’ arms, shoulders or beards. After 15 minutes, they’re encouraged to find another partner. During the second part of the meeting, the men lay down in a “puppy pile” (or a “cuddle puddle” as we like to call it), where they chat or joke while resting on each other’s bodies.
After the cuddling, the men are encouraged to talk about their feelings, stressors or regrets. For some of them, it’s their first time ever being vulnerable with other men, bringing some of them to tears.
Cuddling may have healing effects indeed. According to recently released guidelines on men and boys from the American Psychological Association, the pressure to stifle their emotions and avoid contact with other men can cause men to become hostile and self-destructive, even avoiding medical care or relying on drugs or violence to cope.
The Philly Voice points out that cuddling groups are becoming more popular across the U.S., including for women and people with disabilities who may not receive much physical comfort or intimacy as a result of fear and ableism.
Wicked Dickie
You ran this story already Queerty. It was stupid then, and it’s still stupid now. Those same “bros” that cuddle with each other are the same “bros” that’ll gay bash a gay that says hi to them.
supremebuddy
Wow…how jaded some of you are. Not a good creation for your Self or yourself!
Lobby
I agree with you wicked. Those men are self hating dudes
sfhairy
Fantasy Island. Haha, another BS article on how straight men are wanting or needing male touch.
jstone765299
I think this is a beautiful thing happening. I feel that caring touch can be an amazing way to help people to open up to receive kindness and to give kindness to others.
jstone765299
Thank you for the article, Queerty and Daniel!
RIGay
I wholly get it. We live in an age where “Fist bumps” have replaced handshakes and even basic communications have been reduced to a an emoji. Nothing is tactile.
I was born of an Eastern European background where men hugged and kissed when they met; it did not mean we were sexually attracted to each other; it was a sign of respect and love for the individual.
That has disappeared from society.
So I get it. This is a new HELL we are entering into. The earth is overheating, idiots are controlling the politics and threatening war. Angry rhetoric has replaced civil conversation. Of course men (people) want to cuddle. Who wouldn’t? It’s making a safe space. A place of comfort, ’cause honey, this world got less and less of that by the minute.
Sign me up!
Esscourt
I’ll bet Trump threw his legs up for Putin.
supremebuddy
I agree totally. Some responses are chalked full of fear!
Lobby
The level of delusion in this article. They simply aren’t gay. Quit wishing and respect true str8t men. You would not like it if they said queer men choose to be queer
dwes09
You seem the delusional one here by a long shot. There is not one thing in the article that implies these are closeted men, just that it is a mixed group and that things are kept clothed and nonsexual. And none of the usual “all men are bi” folks seem to have commented.
The weird comments here are the ones that say these guys would beat up gay men.
What’s your problem?
Lobby
Those men are fluid.key word ‘identify’ doesn’t equate born str8t or 100% str8t
Elf92
I think this is wonderful. Good for them! Marvelous!
Nightbird
Sad to see so many negative comments from people who shouldn’t even be on this site. Apparently ignorance, intolerance and hatred is alive and well in the Gay community. And we are all lesser for it.