A recent Reddit post in which a gay teenager alleges that his sibling has forced him to break up with his boyfriend has generated a lot of attention this week.
The fifteen-year-old begged for advice on how to deal with his floridly homophobic older brother, who is apparently forcing him to date girls… otherwise, his sexuality with be exposed to the rest of his family.
The fifteen-year-old asked fellow users on Reddit for help dealing with his homophobic older brother, who has threatened to tell their religious parents all about his sexuality unless he meets his “every demand.”
He writes:
How about we take this to the next level?
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“My brother found out that I’m gay by looking through my phone and reading texts between me and my boyfriend.
“He confronted me about it and said that I had to break up with my boyfriend and start dating girls or he’ll tell my parents about me and tell my boyfriend’s parents about him.
“He screenshotted my texts and some pictures from my phone and has them saved somewhere.”
The teenager has been acquiescing to his brother’s requests: He broke up with his boyfriend and is dating girls.
But obviously he’s miserable.
He “really, really misses” his ex-boyfriend, particularly after meeting up with him secretly.
“I tried talking to my brother about it but he just said that he’s trying to help me and that one day I’ll realise that this is the best thing for me and that he’s doing it out of love.”
Related: Ridiculously Hot Burgess Brothers Need Your Help To End Homophobia
He’s wondered whether he should come out to his parents, but is afraid they’ll disown him, kick him out of the house, or force him to undergo conversion therapy.
Reddit users have been offering their support. Many have suggested that he should tell the truth; that even facing the dire consequences of his confession beats living a lie.
But the fact that his brother will out his ex makes the situation even harder.
“If it was just about me it wouldn’t be as bad, but the fact that he can out my ex as well makes everything a 100 times worse.”
H/t: LGBTQ Nation
Tony Vånegas
Bobby Walker
Sad
Mark Pawelczak
Be proud of who you are……
Damon Robbins
I would use his toothbrush to clean the toilet, what a shitty brother!
Maude
Don’t do a damn thing until after you and your boyfriend find a safe place to go.
and start a life together. Lean on each other…that’s what you’re there for.
redcarpet30
Yeah, I’d start looking for a place to flee. Then they could just detonate the “bomb” safely from a distance. Then he could tell his brother he is an awful shit stain of a man and to never contact them again.
But yeah, he can’t live with the brother holding this over him. He’s going to have to come out and soon, if only to take the power away from his brother. Just do it and deal with the consequences as they come. It’s the best of a bad situation.
Brian JC Kneeland
Just call your boyfriend Lola and keep dating him! OR – come out to your family!
Maude
And AGAIN I am told I am posting to rapidly when I am not.
It wouldn’t be so bad if queerty didn’t delete the post that took some time to type.
And I haven’t been getting any notifications of posts in response to my posts for about a year.
Joshua Ames
Don’t sneak.
Michael Miller
At 15 I’m sure I would have been stupid and did what I thought I had to to survive, date no one. But as an adult with years under the belt looking back… we all regret each year of our lives lost to homophobes. I came out at 20, but still my one regret in life is the developmental years lost not being myself. Now i would say definitely look for a safe place to live away from these people, then call the brothers bluff, tell them all, and live your life!
There will be karmic hell to pay when the dust settles from this episode.
Kevin J Desmond
Just put some cocain in your brothers pocket without him knowing and report him to the police.
Magnus
Wow his brother is complete egocentric scum. I hope no woman is dumb enough to date let alone marry such a loser. He needs to disown his straight homophobic brother.
brparkrunner
Happened to me as a nurse at a Catholic hospital in 1985. Woman in maintenance (cleaning) threatened to out me to my manager. I went straight to my manager and told her I was gay. Her response was basically, “Duh, I kind of knew that”, and had her fired.
We had a female transgender Med/Surg ass’t manager who paved the way for the whole hospital to be aware of diversity way before I got there.
I agree to have a back up plan, but get to the parents before your asshole brother does and let every relative know the outcome. They may surprise you.
Glücklich
The kid couldn’t set a password on his phone?
Still, time to dig up some dirt on the older brother and lord it over *him*. So glad to be an only child.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z3fe_fmsKjY
GayEGO
In this day and age and depending on where you live, marriage equality is the law. If this young man lives in the U.S. he must stand up for himself as he and his beau can have a wonderful life together. I made it with my partner for almost 54 years, married going on 12 years. I told my family when I was 50 in 1991 and I am from Idaho, they are OK with it.
Jere
If this kid isn’t in a position to come out to his parents, he should find a trustworthy female friend and ask her to pretend to be his girlfriend. Then he can continue to see the boyfriend in secret. If he’s 15, he’s only got another year or two before he can go off to school and have his own life, even if he still has to keep it secret from the family for fear of retribution.
Hussain-TheCanadian
@Kevin J Desmond: Oh damn – Some evil thinking right here LOOL
Mack
@Kevin J Desmond: I was thinking something similar. Either that or kill your brother in his sleep.
Ogre Magi
That dumb jock of a brother needs to have his genitalia ripped off by a honey badger
Chris
Find an understanding adult and come out to that person for moral support and adult guidance.
Then, try to determine whether it’s safe to come out to your parents. They may be religious (my mom is) but that does not mean they are idiots like your brother.
In the meantime, I like the idea of asking a trusted girl to serve as your beard. If it’s good enough for gay actors; it can work in the short run for you.
And as soon as you can, cut your ties with that jerk brother of yours and, if possible and safe, disclose to your parents and family what a low life he is. I would be very surprised if at-least-some of your family failed to confront him for what he’s doing. He IS a horrid person.
RichieW
As I have said before. he needs to secretly record his brothers threats and then make a copy. Hide the copy and then give him the other copy and let him know he will go to the police and let them know he is being blackmailed and for that he go to jail if he does not quit the crap.
alphacentauri
Did this actually happen? This guy should have just came out to his family, or come out to them now, and not break up with the BF…if this really happened.
enlightenone
@brparkrunner: “…I agree to have a back up plan, but get to the parents before your asshole brother does and let every relative know the outcome. They may surprise you.”
Makes the most since given that this young man is 15! Next option if no family member can take him in as he is, child protective services need to be called – this is child abusive at least by his mentally sick brother. He can call if necessary.
enlightenone
A more age appropriate stockphoto shouldn’t be too much to ask to accompany this “story!” Queerty?
Johanna Berg
What an assð??
Aromaeus
Anyone telling him to just come out and deal with the fall out sounds stupid and entitled. He needs to do whatever he needs to maintain a roof over his head until he can run away to college or until his brother develops a soul. As for the boyfriend…idk. They can keep trying to meet in secret but his brother seems like to type to follow him and see where he’s going. It might just be something they have to put on hold until both are in better situations. If it can survive this mess than it might go the distance.
Claude Peterson
tres dommage
Joseph C Landis-Midnight
Anyone else think most of these reddit posts are made up?
David Andrew Roubideaux
OMG that’s fucked up!
Moritz
While I think that a lot of these reddit things are fiction, if this was isn’t then it is truly sad. In 2015 to see our young people still suffering at the hands of their family. I hope once the guy is off to college he can write his brother out of his life. Or take him to court for blackmail.
If there is a LGBT community center nearby, you should drop in and see what kind of help they may have to offer. There are usually several types of groups housed there, some that may have lawyers that can help you. Maybe even start on online drive to raise some money, like that guy down south did earlier this year. He raised over 300 thousand dollars. Then maybe you can ask a judge to become an emancipated minor and find a gay guardian to live with.
SteveDenver
@Joshua Ames: I know that same Story Corps tale and send you armloads of love for bringing it back.
Indeed: DON’T SNEAK.
SteveDenver
Chances are, this boy’s brother is also a minor, since he lives at home. Tell his former boyfriend what he intends to do and come clean with his parents:
“Mom, dad, I want to talk to you, because my brother is threatening to tell you something about me that he thinks will ruin my life and upset you. I thought I’d tell you first: I am gay. I have had a sweetheart for the past few months and my brother has threatened to tell his parents and wreck his life, too, so I am asking you to intervene and clear photos off my brother’s phone and forbid him from attempting to wreck this other boy’s life.”
David Chachki
How or why is what your brother does any of your business?
Captain Obvious
@Joseph C Landis-Midnight: Yep. Most of the “stories” don’t even make sense.
Why would you brother care this much about something like that? Makes him sound jealous. Fake story is fake.
Elizabeth Platt
Pretty bad when you can’t trust your brother! Oh wait, I’m straight and can’t trust my brother….no judging here!
Signed: The glass house owner!
Deon Letsoalo
Some problems some 15-year-olds have. God! This child should be doing its homework and other things befitting a child.
rikard
it’s impossible to judge the dynamic between brothers accurately, but even a brother motivated by love who is this manipulative will never be able to keep a secret like this. just be ready when he spills the beans.
bottom250
This makes me cry. What a horrible brother.
Joe
Horrific. First, his brother invaded his privacy by going through his phone which did not belong to him. Secondly, I would cut the brother out of my life as soon as I turned 18. Easier said than done, I know, but he would be out of my life in a NY minute. This is a sad, sad, story.
Daggerman
..first things first. If I found out that my brother or anyone had sneakingly looked at my phone I’d kill them! What right does he have to look at my private business? I am completely furious at this point to begin with. He obviously–needs someone to tell him to stop being so stupidly JEALOUS!