For one Reddit user, entering his 30s coincided with finding himself attracted to two generations of dudes.
“Turning 30 means still being attracted to 23-year-olds, but you also wouldn’t say no to their dad,” the Redditor recently observed. “Something must have happened in the last year where 40-something dads have become increasingly attractive to me.”
Related: Man finally meets girlfriend’s parents, realizes he’s totally had sex with Dad. Now what?
Other users, however, begged to differ. “Me when I was 19,” one commenter wrote. Said another, “Oh honey, I was always into their dad.”
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A third commenter wrote, “I’ve always been into the 40-something dads, though. Good maturity, easy to converse with, and usually doesn’t want the drama.”
Another user, meanwhile, prefers his men not to be literal daddies: “While I definitely could have gone for 40-somethings at 30, if men are actual dads, that’s actually a turnoff for me, especially if the kids are still living with them, or worse, they’re still married (to a woman).”
Related: He called me “daddy” and I have some concerns…
One guy, meanwhile, is still reckoning with his placement in the daddy demographic. “Being called ‘daddy’ for the first time at 34 by a twenty-something was a come-to-Jesus moment for me, especially since I was looking at the older fella in plaid nursing that drink by the bar.”
Chrisk
Dumb. If you turned 30 a 40 something would not be anywhere near your Dads age. 50s/60s would be more like it. All they want is to call an older bro Daddy which just infantizes you.
cliche guevara
Wrong dad, they mean the dad of the 23 year old they are also attached to, not their own parents. So being in your 30s and being attracted to a 23 year old and a 45 year old would be being attracted to two different generations.
Vince
cliche guevara
So basically they could go 10 years either way if you’re hot enough. Oh wow. Cue the press! The things I learn on Queerty. Lol
cliche guevara
@vince
Yes, that is more or less what it is saying. Same thing works in your 40s as well. I am 46, dating a 33 year old and their parents are more or less in my dating range as well. I guess the idea is exciting to 30 year olds because that is when they get to an age where +/- 10 years doesn’t involve something illegal.
cynicalsteve
@Chrisk you’re dumb. Sit you’re silly ass down.
Jared MacBride
Calling someone else “dumb” when you don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re” is, well, pretty dumb.
Josh447
He used you’re correctly.
Jerry
Omg, you read my mind.
Vince
Josh447
I think some of you that feel the need to correct others on their thinking or grammar skills need to learn some yourselves. That or just STFU. Jesus.
Vince
cynicalsteve
Speaking of a silly clown. All you do is come here to attack people. Sad.
Btw. Love your newest name. It fits.
Heywood Jablowme
This is why I don’t get all the talk about “ageism in the gay community,” etc. There is so much of this “daddy” stuff now and there definitely didn’t used to be!
Donston
Maybe it’s a problem for dudes who age out of being pretty boy twinks. Once that stage is over you’re kinda forced to behave a bit more adult and alter your personality. Some have difficulty with dating during that transition. And there’s definitely dudes out here who like ‘em young and young only. But there is so many daddy complexes going on. There’s so much obsession with conventional masculinity and traditional masculine good looks. There’s so many gay couples where both parties are in their 30s, 40s, 50s. I’m 32 (though I do look younger than that), and most of the guys who hit on me are between 19-25. While a lot of “straight” and hetero people or people who have strictly hetero relationship ambitions don’t want partners much who are that much older than them. Like a decent amount of the “gay issues” that are most talked about on the internet, this seems more a social media and app problem than a widespread “real world” problem. Or at least it’s more nuanced and complex than how it’s often presented. Being conventionally good-looking, having a nice body or a big dick, having money, being charming- these things matter more in the dating world than age.
thisisnotreal
@donston your not wrong that it’s kinda contradictory and even confusing At times. I was always paranoid about turning 30 cuz growing up I always heard this narrative that the gay community basically existed in the 18-29 range and once you hit thirty that’s it game over, your declared dead in the gay community. I’ve definitely discovered a portion of our community where that narrative is held true (usually by the catty young twinks who Believe they are gods gift to everyone) and you won’t get the time of day once your past 30. But then there’s the flip side of the community that’s all about daddies and daddy this and son that and I’ve gotta say, that section of our community makes me really uncomfortable. I mean if other people wanna engage in age play dynamics or whatever it’s called then more power to them, but personally I get really uncomfortable at the idea of anyone referring to me as daddy and wanting to be called son or some other youthful term in relation to me. For me that just ain’t happening. If I ever meet people that are attracted to older men fine that’s one thing but I personally am not comfortable having my age difference with someone turned from a preference to a fetish.
fingertrouble
The real laugh is those in their 60’s plus wanting much younger – i.e. in my 20’s I dated guys in their 50’s, yes some go for grandpa types at that age but it’s rare – and then moan about those wanting nephew/financial relationships!
Sorry you want basically a young rentboy for free? LOL. Not how it works, honey.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Jared MacBride: 1000% Co-sign, ChrisK is one of the better commenters here also.
You gotta remember.
They don’t learn the trolls proper English on the troll farms. 🙂
Stefan
When ONE Reddit user posted….
Does not make this a story or even an issue. So stupid.
Donston
My husband is a few years older than me, and he sometimes refer to me as “daddy”. The whole “daddy” thing isn’t always about age or strictly about age. It’s often more about masculine dominance, masculine comfort, or basic role play and mild fetishism. The guy who is perhaps the more effeminate counterpart or the more submissive counterpart is showing their affections, devotion and desire towards their partner.
CityguyUSA
My ex was 3 years younger than me and he called me daddy.
The first couple of times it made me feel a bit odd. However, I realized that it was about dominance and it made it easy for me to grab my club and drag him off. Definitely a price worth paying.
TheBigOne
Na, I’m more into their grandfathers 🙂
Can’t go wrong with the older guys–they’re VERY well experienced, know what they like, and know how to do it. On top of that, they’re always wanting somebody to actually talk with. Most of the ones that I have met throughout my life have been very good gentlemen and have taught me a lot. The only ones that completely turned me off are the ones that still went around thinking that they were still 20-somethings…and thought that they had to impress younger guys with their fancy cars, world travels, and how many guys they can get at the local spa.
Older men (50+) just be yourselves and don’t try to impress the younger guys by wanting to be one of them.
juicer504
Good grief!…all over the world discrimination on the basis of age is shunned. Many (most?) countries have laws and workplace frameworks to protect basic human rights. The gay perspective that shrinks these human rights to the operation of sex and attraction does immense harm and needs to be called out! Shouted out! Ending ageism is a global strategy, with countless individuals, agencies, institution, governments actively involved. Education is a major stream of many programs… the convos here have impact on how younger guys learn to view older people. It is deplorable that age gets fetishised and normalised by such conversation. It cripples the young mind, and distorts older fellas sense of self esteem.
CityguyUSA
You like what you like. You want the government to come in and tell you that you have to have sex with an ?? year-old to get your quota?
Heywood Jablowme
Nobody here is discussing age discrimination in employment, which as you say, has laws that try to address it. That’s a totally separate issue.
When gay men talk about “ageism in the gay community” they’re only talking about dating (or “dating”). I doubt they’re ever talking about the inability of a daddy to get hired as a stripper at a gay nightclub. Possible, but I doubt it!
Lynnde
Hi Guys.
Well I am 72 and my Husband is 25 I don’t have a super car and I am not rich, so you can take that out of the feed back. He enjoys my company a whole lot. We do play video and computer games together. He plays Playstation games and I play computer games. We go everywhere together. I know he likes my cooking lol. We both are War Vets so we have that in common also.
We have a great time together and we both don’t have Big Dicks so that isn’t it also. So you guys who think otherwise, we do have a great relationship.
CityguyUSA
You seem to have commonality that’s what makes it work. I’ve had guys 20 years younger but rarely older and I’d have been the happiest with guys my age because we have common experiences growing up in the same generation. A guy that’s just graduating high school has nothing to share except a sexy body although I gave it my best. He at least got broken in respectably.
batesmotel
In my twenties, my partners were older, but then once I moved into my 30’s the ones coming after me were younger, which I had some concern, but in the end when you get along and have similar interests and communication style, then you start to forget all about the age. We’ve never talked about it actually. I was just mindfully aware initially, but then that just fades and it’s just two people that enjoy one another’s company.
rocib43925
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twohanded
Huh……from the legal age up to my age is perfect, they know what they want, who am I to say no……….bring it on.
j41005
What’s sad, for me and I assume others my age, is that when we enter our 50-60’s, in our minds we still feel young and handsome. We become attracted to guys in their 20,30,40’s who just see us as an “old fart”.
Add to this dilemma that we might be single and have to come to realize that we may never find love at our age.
I’m not having a “pitty party” but just stating facts.
Heywood Jablowme
Of course, some guys in their 50s-60s who “still feel young and handsome” are simply, um… delusional. But you’re leaving out the other side of the equation which is that most of the guys we encounter in their 50s-60s are FAT and/or still smoke cigarettes. If you’re in shape and a nonsmoker, you don’t want to deal with all that huffing & puffing & groaning & coughing!
Chrisk
@Heywood Jablowme
That’s a cold hard way of looking at it but you’re absolutely right. Like the George Orwell quote. We all get the face that we deserve at 50.. body too. All that lifetime abuse finally catches up to you and if you don’t take care of yourself you end up looking like crap. Then the same guys expect some twenty something to be into that. Haha
SparkyMICH
This is not a new phenomenon. Welcome to the 1970’s.